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673 replies

ladymuckbeth · 31/08/2012 23:24

Here we go. More unexpurgated chat about our darling angels, all of whom are gifted and have exceptionally calm and admirably-coping parents.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
AtLongLast · 04/01/2013 22:21

Bloody fiat. I feel your pain on that one chesti. Tho I shouldn't complain as touch wood ours is playing ball at the mo. Keep thinking we should sell while it's going ok but reluctant to because of the amount we've spent on it over the last year. Then when it breaks down again we'll be kicking ourselves. Hopefully it will be ok til after we get our kitchen done & we're settled into having my wages again. keeping up with your child care arrangements sounds like a job in itself!

Tree down here. Really need to get my work mode engaged before Monday. No excuse now..

((Mucky))

tartiflette · 04/01/2013 22:38

God, the very idea of work next week ALL HmmI hope it goes smoothly for you.

That is horrendous about the car Chesti. Never a better time for a modest lottery win... I'll see you right if I win big tomorrow. We have no spare cash whatsoever at the moment so I can imagine the horror.

Things still up in the air re. DH and the are we aren't we moving situation. Won't be resolved until end of January for various reasons, but either way we need to get this place on the market asap. Must contact agents next week. I have no idea what i'm doing as this place was our first and we bought it from our landlady so we really are clueless. And DH is taking a back seat as per.

tartiflette · 04/01/2013 22:54

Just read your post properly Chesti, am stunned at your childcare arrangements and cost! It's so much to get your head around even when just dropping two of them at the same nursery a few days a week.
Think you are probably right about Sheffield to Derby being too far. Only problem with places in between is that DH grew up in a small town and didn't like it and says he doesn't want that for the girls. Whereas i was opposed to the idea initially but have cone round a bit. I think he could be persuaded if we hit on the right place.

ladymuckbeth · 04/01/2013 23:08

Thanks gals. xxxx

OP posts:
tartiflette · 06/01/2013 18:04

Worrying about you mucky. Keep checking in when you can xxx

Anyone read the raising girls article in the ST style supplement today?

chesticles · 06/01/2013 21:20

I also keep thinking about you Mucky. I hope you are doing ok. Divorce is a huge decision.

Things hectic here, but have managed to buy a new car. One thing less to stress about.

tarti the childcare costs are stomach churning! We are just in the unfortuately position of having 3 needing full time childcare. None of it is particularly outrageous (private nursery £40 per day per child childminder £3.50 per hour for 1st child £2.50 for siblings) but it all mounts up. But it's for long term gain. H will start school in Aug as well. ALL you must have similar costs? Good luck with starting back to work soon.

tartiflette · 08/01/2013 19:16

How's it going back at work ALL?

AtLongLast · 09/01/2013 20:32

That's it - first week done. Feel like I'm on holiday tonight & so looking forward to a few days with the children. Work was OK students less openly hostile by the end of a few lessons so that's a positive. Boys are loving full days in nursery. C is going to take some time to settle, but perhaps not as bad as I feared. She screamed all day Monday - so much that she lost her voice! Whinged all morning yesterday but apparently OK in the afternoon. Not so good today, but she'll get there.

Hmm... costs Chesti! Our nursery is pretty cheap as they go, but it all adds up. We're lucky in that we can both get some salary sacrifice / childcare vouchers and we've been saving them up so we can reduce our bills a bit from now until the boys' funding kicks in. I'm only working 3 days though - not sure it would be worth my while working more than that at the moment.

Mucky, I hope you're having great rl support & are working through your options. Still thinking of you ((()))

LaVitaBellissima · 10/01/2013 11:46

Just about to go and pick the girls from their first day at nursery! Wow... I hope there are no tears!

Mucky, thinking of you too, I'm always home if you feel like driving over for a cuppa x

tartiflette · 10/01/2013 17:04

How did it go lavita? And mor importantly did you have a nice child free morning? Grin

LaVitaBellissima · 11/01/2013 13:44

Thanks Tarti We just left them too it, yesterday there were a few tears but less today, they seemed to enjoy themselves! Lots of painting, climbing, sandpits, music etc. How are your plans, with the possible move?

Yesterday I went to my friends house, for a chat but she has 2 under two, so it wasn't exactly child free!
Today was amazing, I went and sat in a cafe had a bacon sandwich and a cup of tea (classy!) relaxed, read my magazine, then went and had a shellac manicure, it was amazing Smile

Next week I think I will be cleaning, and I need to do some work with my Stella & Dot, try and get busy and book in some shows! Cerub I am about to post you the new catalogue Grin if anyone else wants a look - here is the link let me know what you like! I still haven't finished pick my samples but there is some lovely stuff!

Mucky How are you & the girls?

Kate where are you? Hope all is well

ALL is work still ok? How is C? Settling better?

Cerubina · 11/01/2013 13:49

Yes, how did the girls get on at nursery LVB? The first few sessions can be hard on everyone but once they get stuck in I'm sure they'll love it! How have you used your first couple of days of freedom?

I hadn't realised your return to work was coming up ALL (although if I'd thought about it obviously you couldn't put it off much longer). Did you enjoy putting on a different part of your personality again, or will it take time to get back in the swing of it? 10 months into my return to work, I have to say I love the balance of sometimes being mummy but sometimes being proper adult with a modicum of intelligent things to say. Hope C's voice has come back again, it doesn't sound like the smoothest of starts if she yelled that much but as with LVB sure she'll get there very quickly once they've broken her spirit.

Have been thinking about mucky such a lot. Hope you are checking in and seeing our support, and you know where most of us are if you want a virtual chat (or a RL one with me or LVB). xx

How is the childcare routine bedding down chesti? It sounds like a logistical minefield to deal with all those elements, I'd need a spreadsheet for it! Is your DH enjoying full time work? How's the impact on you and home life? Glad you got the car situation resolved quickly at least, but the breakdown must have been an arse and financially, just post Christmas is such a bad time for that to happen! January is the longest month anyway, without having to buy a new set of wheels too.

So have you got estate agents crawling all over your place yet tarti? Any further progress on the big move decision?

We are all well here. In fact, although I hesitate to say it, the twins have been hale and hearty for positively weeks. It's such a contrast with this time last year, when I got tonsillitis and they had cold after cold, and I have to say I'm very appreciative! Now I've said that, what's the betting we all get norovirus? Hmm

We've had to contend with a new sleep issue with S, who suddenly and from out of nowhere started to kick up a huge fuss about getting into bed about 10 days ago. Our working theory was that it started on New Year's Day, when we were at friends' and all desperately hungover - he didn't settle at all for his lunchtime nap and cried all the way through, while awful awful mummy lay downstairs gibbering and not responding to his cries. Whether coincidentally or not, he was absolutely inconsolable about going into his cot thereafter and was also waking in the night begging to get out and crying his heart out. Awful! Have tried a bit of spaced soothing and lots of reassurance since and I think - touch wood - he might be back on track again now. But I will never ignore his wails again!

When they were in special care after they were born, we got signed up to a study into premature babies and brain development. This week we had to go to hospital for a developmental assessment session, to see how they've got on since then. It was a couple of hours of cognitive, language and physical tests (things like building towers out of blocks, doing jigsaws, naming objects in pictures, drawing, walking up and down stairs, jumping, etc) which they put up with pretty well, but got very fed up by the end. Anyway their scores were absolutely great, bang on track, and S actually got a very high score for language. He's such a chatterer now, I think we are up to sentences of 4 words at times, and it's lovely to hear that they are doing so well. When they're premature you find it hard not to wish they could catch up a bit with their peers but we're now at the point where we can really start to forget that they were ever early.

Kate, rattling, are you still there? Hope things are going well with you x

Cerubina · 11/01/2013 13:51

Obviously LVB and I crossed posts there, I won't make you repeat yourself!

Sounds like a lovely morning, good choice of activities...

AtLongLast · 12/01/2013 22:15

Yey to meeting developmental milestones Cerub! Sounds like they're both doing fab. Very grateful not to have had the prem issue to deal with here.

Glad to hear your girls seem to be settling well Lavita. I did cringe after posting about C in case I'd made you anxious. Especially stupid after listening to my mum lay on the guilt trip to me last weekend. She's of the 'why have children if you don't want to look after them' brigade Hmm.

I was pleased to discover that, after not wearing earrings since the boys started grabbing for them, that I can still wear them so have been looking at new stuff. Simple & white gold (or silver)is my aim. Was looking at S&D & liking the Odette. Also love the Corso hoops but they look much chunkier than I first thought. Really liking getting dressed for work. Boys keep saying 'mummy you like a LADY' lol. Then J was quite tickled that I had my knees out, but confused as to why I'd painted them black. Can you tell they've not seen me out of my one pair of jeans Grin?

Right.. back to planning. Trying to work out which nights should be work-free. Decided Thur/Fri given I'm master of procrastination anyway. But my usual way of working (leave to last min then work madly, up to deadline & completing in the nick of time) isn't really compatible with small children. Already have 1st illness of my return - W has been really off-colour all day, temp, sitting / sleeping on sofa, threw up (on me, of course) and asked to go to bed at 6.15 - a first! Poor sausage.

chesticles · 13/01/2013 22:21

Sounds like everyone is having a hectic start to the new year with lots of changes afoot. We are getting on ok, but it is really hectic. I'm hoping that one we get into the new routine things will be a bit calmer, but at the moment it's mostly just running around (literally, I run from the door of my work to the car to save vital seconds Shock)
On which note, I'm off to bed. Hope everyone is doing ok, and I'll try and read and write more next time I'm on.

tartiflette · 15/01/2013 13:51

Just a quick wave to you all and marking my place.

That does sounds hectic Chesti.

Nothing to report. Girls doing well although still having accidents on a fairly regular basis. Thought we would have this cracked by now - I long for the days of nappies! So much more predictable. Outings much easier etc.

We are off down to Sheffield this weekend to scout around a bit and for DH to go down to Derby next Monday to see what the drive is like and decide once and for all whether he actually wants the job. Then I will get this place on the market in the next couple of weeks as even if we are staying here, we need to be moved by the autumn really, for school admissions. (Am exactly the kind of tedious bore I used to swear I would never become).

ALL what days are you teaching? I fail to stick to set 'work nights' but I might try again as think it would help me feel less out of control... Let me know what you decide and whether it works.

Oh DH dislocated his shoulder at the weekend - the latest in a LOOOOOONG line of serious and not so serious rugby injuries. I think this means his "career" (smirk) is over, which is no bad thing as far as I'm concerned! Maybe my career of spending four hours every Saturday afternoon swanning around the shops can really take off now Wink

LaVitaBellissima · 16/01/2013 09:43

Mucky How are you? Haven't seen you on FB either Sad you don't need o give us the ins and puts, just keep in touch as we are thinking of you xx

Also wondering where Kate is??

Driving lesson again for me today, trying to keep on top of this house, and some work to do for me. Tarti I met a lovely girl from Derbyshire this weekend, she lives near Bakewell, is that in your search area?

tartiflette · 16/01/2013 19:38

Ooh yes very much so Lavita. Just waiting DH's verdict on Monday as to whether he actually wants this job and then I will be unleashing you on Rightmove.

Anyone seen Les Mis? I'm going to go tomorrow I think, if weather not too awful.

chesticles · 16/01/2013 21:48

I've been on holiday to bakewell and it was lovely. Really lovely. Would be a great place to live.

mucky how you doing? Am a bit worried that you are so quiet. Kate am also hoping things are fine with you and that the girl.s are all fine.

Things here are fine, but h ( and probably d too) so are just trying to juggle work and childcare. Ugh.

KateShmate · 17/01/2013 21:16

Hi ladies - just checking in again, am so sorry that I keep not posting for weeks on end. NY's resolution is to keep up to date with you all.

Mucky Am so so sorry to hear your news, have got no idea how hard it must be for you but I hope you and the girls are doing okay. I really hope that soon, coming on here and just getting everything out, will help. So sorry that this is so late too :(

We're doing okay ladies, thank you for asking. We're having a bit of trouble with E again, but haven't really mentioned anything to anyone but family at the moment. Am on another forum type chat thing, but sometimes just feel like, unless someone asks, it seems I'm constantly whinging about things. I know that doesn't make any sense, but because E's illness is an ongoing type thing, I don't want people to think 'Oh great, she's updating us all again' - we all know those kind of mums and how truly nauseating they can be! Grin
But anyway, apart from E we are all doing fine - really hoping for some snow tonight!

Hope everyone else is okay - will try and catch up :)

AtLongLast · 18/01/2013 20:33

Aha, the glorious end to a sporting career. We had one of those! Shame cos i liked him to play but have zero sympathy for the endless injuries. Usually gained as a result of some stupid hero-like tackle that was miles too ambitious.

I'm working Mon-Wed Tarti (& today...). My ideal would be to do all work Mon-Fri evenings (def not working while children are awake during day) and have weekend totally free but I know what I'm like & will just faff around & still end up working every night. So if I allow myself Thurs/Fri night off then net result is the same. Til illness strikes plenty practice just now. I just need to be tough with myself I think! Been stressed enough this week cos had so much to do. Suddenly pressure is off a bit for next week so I'm having a wine /choc night!

Your childcare sounds madChesti! When does H start school - will that help or make things more nuts?

Good to 'see' you Kate & glad you're all mostly going ok. What's happening with E?

Enrolled on a dressmaking course last night - v excited! Tutor is so lovely. Have to choose a pattern/fabric to start making next week Shock

AtLongLast · 18/01/2013 20:33

Aha, the glorious end to a sporting career. We had one of those! Shame cos i liked him to play but have zero sympathy for the endless injuries. Usually gained as a result of some stupid hero-like tackle that was miles too ambitious.

I'm working Mon-Wed Tarti (& today...). My ideal would be to do all work Mon-Fri evenings (def not working while children are awake during day) and have weekend totally free but I know what I'm like & will just faff around & still end up working every night. So if I allow myself Thurs/Fri night off then net result is the same. Til illness strikes plenty practice just now. I just need to be tough with myself I think! Been stressed enough this week cos had so much to do. Suddenly pressure is off a bit for next week so I'm having a wine /choc night!

Your childcare sounds madChesti! When does H start school - will that help or make things more nuts?

Good to 'see' you Kate & glad you're all mostly going ok. What's happening with E?

Enrolled on a dressmaking course last night - v excited! Tutor is so lovely. Have to choose a pattern/fabric to start making next week Shock

KateShmate · 19/01/2013 22:38

ALL Work sounds crazy - make sure you look after yourself if you're starting to get stressed out! Dressmaking course sounds wonderful!

Nothing majorly wrong with E, but we have managed to get blood levels stable in the mornings - have been around same figure for a few months, but now has started dipping and being lower in the morning again.
Some mornings she's had to miss pre-school and not go in until a bit later because she's so exhausted again. She's no way near how poorly she was last year, but we have definitely noticed a lack of energy in the past few weeks. We are hoping that consultant will just say that we need to increase the amount of feed at bed time.

P.s Am currently desperately trying to seek legal advice for a friend - if anyone can help then please let me know!

Cerubina · 22/01/2013 07:36

Sorry to hear that E's problems have flared up again Kate and I hope there's an easy fix when you see the consultant. Is that soon?

Feeling a bit fed up here and need a bit of a slap round the chops if you ladies can oblige. The twins have been well for ages (I think I dangerously said as much last time I posted) but have come down with colds and the dreaded conjunctivitis over the weekend. Both went to nursery yesterday but R got sent home after lunch so that was my working day done. Today is mandatory exclusion for her, and given that S was up coughing a lot during the night, I do suspect that I'm not going to be able to send him either.

So with tomorrow being my day off that is 3 days of trying to entertain poorly toddlers, and quite possibly not really being able to go anywhere because of snow and germs. Plus not getting any time to myself, nor obviously any opportunity to check in on work except when they're sleeping, which is normally my time to relax for a bit.

Please inspire me and reassure me - I find taking them out anywhere by myself so fraught and like herding cats that I only really take them to friends' houses or on a walk where there's no question of getting them out of the buggy. This bores me rigid or friends aren't always available, so are there any other options? LVB I seem to remember you having this problem ages ago.

Also, when they're up and about I just don't get ANY time to myself. If I go to the loo, they come. If I go in the kitchen for anything, they follow and start begging for food. Going anywhere else in the house means stairs and bloody ages to go up and down with their faffing, so essentially if I can't go out I spend 98% of the time in the sitting room and even then they are such dictators that I can't check work emails or make phone calls or anything because they require me to be personally involved in everything they do. Most of the time I love being so involved, but on days when I want or need to do anything else, it drives me crazy and makes me resentful.

Please ladies, any tips? Or even just tell me when yours started being a bit more flexible on all this? Sad

LaVitaBellissima · 22/01/2013 09:21

I find that gin at about 9am helps Grin

I still have these problems to be fair, with this weather we are all still in bed, with cartoons on and Lego all over the floor. It is also one of the driving forces behind me learning to drive, as they want to walk everywhere, and try to throw themselves out of the buggy on occasion.
Sorry to put a downer on it, but I have found it harder and harder Sad never quite sure if I am just a crap mum or I have particularly spirited children. They split them up at nursery already because they egg each other on and are much better on their own!

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