Please tell me some positive, happy stories about having twins...

[DigestivesWithPhiladelphia]

Please??

I am 15 weeks pregnant with twins. We have a 6 year old & 16 month old already. This pregnancy was planned & luckily it happened as soon as we started trying. However, the twin part wasn't planned & I am still struggling to get my head around going from 2 children to 4.

I've lost count of the amount of people who approach me in the playground, crowing "Twins?! You must be MAD" or "How will you cope with four children - it will be SO HARD". One woman just approached me & was saying "Twins? Oh no, oh no". I barely know her!

I am tired and extremely hormonal and sick of the thoughtless comments and stupid questions I'm being asked: "Did you know it would be twins? Did you know there would be a risk?".... I didn't even know how to respond to that one! And don't get me started on the people who eye my stomach and gleefully say "Imagine how HUGE you'll get".

Yes, I know it won't be especially easy, but as soon as I had my first scan, I knew how much I wanted both the babies. Another bloody unhelpful comment I kept receiving was "One might just disappear you know. It's common for one just to die"

Saying that, my close friends & family (and DH) have been really supportive and positive. It's the people I don't know well who seem to be passing comment & asking invasive questions. I don't like being the centre of attention at the best of times & at the moment I just feel like screaming at people: "If you can't say anything nice then don't SPEAK TO ME AT ALL!!".

Okay, rant over :-) Please, please, tell me some lively stories that will help me to look forward to the arrival of twins & perhaps convince me that I will cope after all...

When I was pg the Italian man making my coffee (coffee shop on the way to work I mean - decaf obviously!) asked me did I know what I was having (very obviously pg of course). I said "two girls". There was a slight pause and then he said, very excitedly "oh you are BLESSED!" That was the best comment I've had about twins and I wish I could tell him how much it meant to me then and since. People are stupid and thoughtless with their comments but having twins is awesome in all senses of the word.

Oh that is lovely, MrsF. I can remember when mostly getting negatives for having four children, meeting some lovely Italians on holiday who thought it was the best thing ever! One guy explained to us that Italians would traditionally have large families but people simply can't afford it any more, and he thought our family was lovely - really made my day!

Iam Italian and live in Italy, and tbh I think money is only one side of it, I do get some lovely comments about my four kids, but mostly from "older" people.

People in my age group look at me with sympathy at best or commiseration at worst. We have one of the lowest birth rates in Europe and it has been like this for a couple of decades, long before the recession hit.

A lot of people see children as hard work only, so I often get the comment "poor you", I think Italians have changed a lot.

I hate it when I am out with my brood and I can feel all the eyes on me and people asking "are they all yours?" with a horrified look on their faces

Rant over, Yes the twins are labour intensive, and I haven't slept for linger than 5-6 hours in a row in 6 months, but this morning they were babbling to each other in bed and moments like this are just priceless!

There have been points where my 2 combined have been easier than ds1 who was not an easy baby, despite them being born 7 wks prem. The 1st 6 months are not easy but once you get in the swing of things it gets better. Now they're nearly a year it's fascinating and highly entertaining watching them move, babble to and @ each other and see who's starting a fight and how (my little and younger twin is very much the dominant party hiding this behind a smile that stops strangers in their tracks).

Feeding 2 is an incredible feeling as well as very satisfying if mastered.

There are definitely ups and downs but I wouldn't swap them for anything.

Hi and congrats! I have 9 year old twins and have loved every minute. I went from 2 to 4 too. We needed a bigger house and car the works. My others were 2 and 5 when I found out. I was worried but it was fine they were good babies and I breastfed for 6 weeks. I had a horrible birth though but that is rare.

Twins are so fab I feel so lucky at times as not many people get to have twins so it feels special. I felt like a celebrity when they were newborns as you get so much attention! And they are so close and always played well together; I have two boys.

I got negative comments also but having had a stillborn a few months earlier I saw it as a good surprise not bad. I went on to have a 5th baby and he had severe reflux and was ten times harder than the twins!

Don't woRry it will be fine twins are such a blessing!

HI there. First of all congratulations! I genuinely think twins are a blessing and although you will get some negative comments (my Aunt told me I shouldn't have told anyone it was twins before 12 weeks because chances are one would disappear) but the vast majority of people (and I mean 99.9%) will think you are the luckiest woman alive / you are super mum when they are here and you just get on with things.

My twins were my first babies, I have another one now, and they all get on brilliantly, but there is definitely something special about the way they interact. They seem to have their own little language and understand each other, when you first hear them giggling with each other and you don't know why, thats a special moment.

I can also comment on it from a twin point of view - 40 years on, and my twin sister is my best friend in the whole world. She knows me inside out, back to front. She knows what I'm thinking (we are unbeatable at Pictionary now at family parties :-)!!) - we've been through every important step in life at the same time, its just a unique bond.

I do think its tough to start with but you'll be fine, you'll get through it, and you'll have this wonderful family and know that your twins will have a bond as they go through life that the vast majority of people will never have the privilege of having.

My DD was nearly two when the twins were born - so the early years logistics of managing babies and a toddler, then to a pre-schooler and toddlers were quite tricky it has to be said!
However, my health visitor told me that everything is a phase and it's the thing I've always remembered through the hard bits. My DD is now 8 and my twin boys will be 7 on Saturday and they are a lot of fun, I would never change anything (even extreme potty training!).
People do make comments and you have just brush them off. My friend used to take advantage of it by going to a baby group full of 'singletons' just to revel in the 'I don't know how you do it' comments!
Do join Tamba if you can, they saved my sanity a number of times!

BTW - congratulations

Congratulations. Ignore the negativity as they don't really know what it's like. It's truly lovely you are doubly blessed (puke) and many more people than will tell you that. So savour it and tell yourself every day. For me at the moment it's when the sit opposite each other or next to each other and laugh and smile to each other like no-one else exists even me slave to their needs it's so magical I often think that's something that seperates us from singleton babies (apart from the interaction with older dc's I don't think thats the same...). Oh and they hold hands too which is lovely. Sometimes DT1 tries to chew his sore gums on DT2's hands. Aww. Its when he tried to wrench it off I have to intervene. The other good thing is you'll get away with murder. When out with the dts if they are crying I dont get the look a singleton mum might but the old 'oo you got your hands full' whilst still looking adoringly at the screaming babies. And everyone feels sorry for you. You get loads of offers of help (double the amount). Milk it for all it's worth I do.

Its the best thing ever and no need to worry enjoy your very good pregnancy (mine was) and yes as you already have dc's it will be easy. For me it was a major shock as I didn't realise babies were so hard (no really I didn't) thats babies...not dts.

I could have written your post Op 2 1/2 years ago. We found out at the 8 week scan that number 3 was numbers 3 and 4. I cried. I thought my life was over.

Fast forward to the DTs arrival and now they are 21 months old. I love it. They are fabulous boys and make my heart melt every time I look at them.

It has been hard. I am knackered. Life is a basically one long juggling exercise with 4 of them. But the comments I get are either lovely (an elderly lady and her carer last week just gushed over the DTs has they were in the park for example) or they are in the vein of I don't know how you do it. So I just feel smug that I do manage 4 of them. I do and you will too!

There are some funny side effects too. Last night DS1 was away on a sleep over. I only had the DTs and DS2 to get to bed. It felt like I had the night off with only 3 to deal with!

You'll be fine. Twins are great. Wishing you a smooth pregnancy.

Thank you again for all your responses. I have been reading them but have also been recovering from a horrible sickness bug (which my DH & the kids also picked up) and just generally covered in coldsores and feeling rubbish :-( so sorry I haven't responded before.

Handsful, I did like your poem, thank you! And the twin video that one of you reccomended. It's also good to hear from so many people who already had children and seem to be coping. Mandy, it's interesting to hear about the twin relationship you have with your sister, that's something I haven't really thought about yet, I hope that my twins like each other! Also hoping that my DD won't feel pushed out and that she'll form close relationships with them. Because my DS is older, he is out at school all day and has his own interests, whereas DD will be under 2 when the twins arrive and she will be at home with us.

My DH & I found having our second baby surprisingly easy and when we talked about having a third, I remember saying to him: "It's too easy with just two, my life doesn't feel chaotic enough". I think I may have tempted fate by saying that out loud!

Just a quick post, will read the thread later but YES YES YES to your original post! People can be so thoughtless, and I've had almost all of the same comments as you, the latest being "Did you know it would be twins?" - yes, I went in and split the egg myself, dontcha know...

Anyway yes it's hard work but I would never give up my beautiful boys nor wish I'd only had one - and I write this in the midst of a hard and somewhat tearful week. But they are the best.

(The boys are the best, that is, not bad weeks!!)

Hi , My identical boys are now 11 months , they were born at 34 weeks and weighed 3lb 6oz ,& 3lb 9oz although they were tiny they were perfect and after 2 weeks in scbu to establish breast feeding and to maintain weight and temp they came home . This was my first pregnancy and was planned they missed the second baby at the first scan so it wasn't untill the next scan I found out I was carrying twins . I worried all the way through my pregnancy as it was drilled into me I was a high risk as they shared the placenta . I had fortnightly scans and the care was good nearly all of the time , just a shame that I saw a different consultant each time and they occasionally contradicted theirselves ! I had a c section after 3 days of labour but Tbh was not as bad as I'd imagined . My boys are amazing they breastfed for 2 months which then I had to stop as I had an aggressive infection in my wound. They have then gone on to sleep through from 8 weeks old . They smile and chuckle at everyone they greet and eat any of the meals I prepare for them. I honestly cannot imagine having just one baby and I'm sure the reason they settle at night so well is because they know they have each other. I won't lie it's been a hard road but one that gets easier more intriguing and for filling each day ! X

What a lovely thread! Congratulations to all of you. I only have one son currently,we're getting ready to start trying for another baby & I have suddenly found myself (after reading this) that twins would be terrific!

hi I had twins, boy and girl, and did not get 'huge'. You will be fine.
learn to ignore people who make silly comments, you cope with feeding etc., because you have to, and will find your own way.
congratulations!

Thinking about it, I had some proper stupid comments, let them wash over you.....

Just to say... when I was pregnant a twin mum told me the first 4 months are the worst, and it's true - the girls have just turned 4 months and it's so different. They're napping well so suddenly they're much happier, so much less work and more fun. They dropped another feed as well and it makes so much difference! I would say the first 9 weeks or so were pretty desperate and I needed help, weeks 10-17 it was nice to have help, but possible to do alone, and since this week it's been much, much easier and it's actually quite fun. Never thought I'd see the day. I thought I'd be tearing my hair out for 2 years till I went back to work!

I have twins. They're terrifying now (1yrs old- starting to walk) but are incredible to have. They started talking, and came up with a crazy language. It's like 'ooky-orry-gob-bling-blong-bling' and the other one just nods and says 'biggy-bong, bish yid bong' and they're lauging at jokes and understand each other. Really fantastic. I've searched online to see if it's not uncommon, and I've found some videos on yotube of twins doing similar things.

Also, when they're born, it's adorable. It's lovely to see them cuddling up in their Moses basket- when they were that age, they loved being with each other. Separate them- crying. But when they were togeter, they'd hug each other and stuff, and it was adorable. When they went to asleep, they'd be holding hands or hugging each other.

I know they're still young, and the first year can be a nightmare, but so far I've loved it. Being able to put them togehter and let them entertain each other was a life-saver sometimes, and even though the first year can be the worst what with screaming, teething, whatever, I can honestly say that this is the best first year I've ever had.

You also get to have fun with names. My friends suggested Aidan and Nadia (in reverse of each other), Cole and Bianca (means black and white) and then they came up with Thomas Warren and Ivy Nadia Sarah (initials spell TWINS). It was one of the funnest things I've done- come up with twin names (I know, I've got a sad life).

goingtoexplode I feel sorry for your twins re. names

Hello,

I'm another one (like you OP) who went from 2 to 4 kids. For almost a year I had 4 children aged 4 and under. The most ubiquitous comment I got was "You've your hands full".

Let me tell you, twins is just wonderful. When I look back on the pregnancy and newborn stage (my identical girls are 11 months now), it must seem hellish, the girls nearly didn't survive pregnancy, were born at the consultants insistence at 34 weeks, then 3 hourly feeds and gruelling regime of expressing along with 2 other little children to contend with), but the way I remember it, it was quite magical. Like others have said, seeing them together, little babies cuddling in the basket together, growing up and playing with eachother, its just so damn cute .

You are a lucky lady and will have lots of fun with your babies, honestly, one baby just looks lonely to me now, two is just right!

Sorry if this reply is a bit late just joined net mums.

I had twin girls 10 weeks ago and also have a 3year old. I totally understand how you feel. I hated my whole pregnancy I felt ill and in pain constantly and spent the whole time terrified of having two babies.
Same as with you people were constantly tellin me how hard it is and good luck... Your gonna need it etc so please let me just tell you.... I LOVE IT!!!!!! I wouldn't Change my twins for the world and it is so much easier than I ever thought (too easy I'm waiting for it all to go wrong :-/) maybe these people telling me how hard it would be did me a favour coz I expected it to be hell. I do it on my own as other half is not around very often:(
I no you already have 2 which is daunting but I'm sure they will be great and the twins will fit into your routine very quickly.
My main advice is to have them feed at same time straight away. For me this started as soon as they were born, because they were small midwifes in hospital said to feed every 3hours so I used to wake them at same time to feed and sure enough since that they are hungry at same times, sometimes there's maybe half hour between them but nothing major I just get one fed and move onto the next :)
Honestly you will be fine try to enjoy your pregnancy coz looking bk now I feel guilty how much I hated been pregnant and dreading them arriving xx