Under 1s twin post-natal group? Should we have one? Who's in?!

[PeelingmyselfofftheCeiling]

The antenatal group is nearly full, any graduates fancy joining forces to compare

Oh, and ceevee, re weaning, I find they are very fickle. DD was similar, loads of phases. Even now she'll eat something with gusto one day and totally turn her nose up the next. I'd say just don't worry and go with 'food under one is just for fun' for now and sounds like you're offering loads and loads of options so I'd just carry on as you are and stay relaxed about it. The two things I've discovered the long way are you can't make them.eat and you can't make them sleep

Alas cvb my weaning advice is prob not great - I found one or two things DS would almost always eat and they were my backup for every meal - I just didn't have it in me to try some sordid dish more than 2 or 3 times in a week, and that was only if there was some left from the previous meal coz he hadn't touched it, not just coz I made a lot! Though inevitably if i made a lot of something he would hate it.... Our fall backs were heinz (?) powder meals, great little things they are! Taste nice but very bland, no bad textures and super easy (powder in bowl + water/milk = done). Oh and Bebevita fruit pots and fromage frais. Sorry if that's totally unhelpful

I was thinking about contraception only this morning (when the twins had given me a moment's peace and therefore reminded me of what sanity is like.) We're doing condoms at the mo but I plan to do some NFP as well as extra protection, lol. twins as brill contraception? Nevaaaar!

On a different subject I finally remembered to scrub at my weird brown skin and most of has come off, hurrah! Feel slightly more normal again now...

Re: bedtimes, it's strating to get worse here - the dear boys are sleeping as early as 6:30pm then waking up a fair bit which I am fairly certain is due to noise/disruption. I would love to do proper bedtime with them at a decent time (6:30/7pm latest) but there is NO WAY this can happen when I'm home alone. So what do I do? Only doing it 3 nights pw seems mightily pointless! :( :(

Oh dream I too was out all day recently and it was actually really nice, to my surprise. It helped that my mum came (DH at work), but think it was the fact that we were occupied the whole time, but with lots of stops (i.e. not walking around the whole time and wearing myself out) :) Still thinking of you re lack of sleep

Natural Family Planning? What's that? My brother used some kind of rythm thingiemabob and he's having a baby this summer so I'm not convinced anything other than hard drugs or internal engineering will convince DH to go near me. I'm like you ceevee, not so keen on the coil idea, but then I don't really like the hormones...but I do like sex so abstinence as my dear mother suggested isn't an option either! Need to do more investigating...

ceeveebee, don't sweat it. You sound like you're doing great. The dietitian out here says "It's your responsibility as a parent to make good quality, nutritious food and provide it at regular intervals. It is your child's responsibility to eat it." And that's it. I heard this advice early on and didn't really pay attention as DD ate everything no problem. Now she's turned 2 though she's suddenly decided she will ONLY eat porridge, rice cakes, pasta pesto and raisins. That's it. So i spent a couple of months worrying, a couple pandering to her, then I remembered this advice, took it to heart and have been providing her with normal food that I'm eating and if she eats it or not I'm not letting it get to me. She's definitely not hungry and she does huge poos every day, her eyes are bright and teeth are fine so I know she's getting enough and it's taken so much stress out of it all. She's also free range now (no highchair for her) so I have to activate zen like mind state as she usually has 10 mins of circling the table before she'll sit and try anything. We've had progress this week - she's tried cucumber and sweetcorn again and my blood pressure has returned to normal.

Lemele good news on brown skin front, told you it rubs off! I'm sorry about your evening routine, what a palaver. But I reckon it probably is worth doing it on the nights you've got your other half there - some routine is better than none? Maybe? Here's hoping...

Hello all,

BB3 hope today everything went well. Have been thinking about your ds.

Contraception: I was too never liked the idea of a coil, always used condoms or the pill, which makes me prone to depression and kills my libido (which kind of defeats the whole pojnt) so after dd1was not keen on going back on it. Tried Persona abd that resulted in dd2 (very welcome though!!). After my bc I really did not want to go anywhere near hormones (even though mine wasnt but still..) and condoms... They are a bit of a killjoy too soo had no choice really, so I tried the copper coil and I had an eureka moment. The best thing I ever did for myself honestly! a contraceptive tgat worked and didn't affect my sex life, and I just forgot I even had it in most of the time.
I was advised to wait a bit because of thd c/s but its on my to do list!

My older girls are with their granmas' and tonight I really struggled with bedtime on my own... The twins cry a lot when they are tired and there was always one crying and sobbing while I tended to the other , it is just so heartbreaking! Eventually I managed to feed them their top up bottle together, both on my lap, with their big eyes looking up at me, bless them!

Sorry cant do more personalised posts, on my phone again. But I agree about the advice given on weaning even though I never managed to do the same

Night night

Thanks all. I guess I'm just worried she'll start slipping down the centiles, she was only 3lb13 at birth and is now about the size of an average 4 month old baby (at 7.5 months). I think perhaps she is just not ready, she never puts anything in her mouth and has no interest in the food I eat, she seems happy to just watch her brother stuffing his face! Oh well, will just carry on regardless.

Night all. Hope you all get some good sleep

Then it might just be that she's not ready yet. If she's the size of an average 4 month old then she might only just be starting to be ready for solids now. Maybe keep trying her on the early weaning foods and nothing too complicated until she's established on that, then start introducing more exciting stuff? Another thing to try is very very tiny portions, but more often, just to get her used to the idea and getting some calories in her...I'm by no means an expert, just thinking aloud really.

Yeah I agree with red on the weaning, ceeveebee, a very gentle approach might do the trick as she's small. They do say that interest in your food is a key indicator to them being ready so maybe she isn't quite. Does she usually seem to prefer 'early' foods, i.e. fruit puree, baby rice, yoghurt, that kinda thing?

Thanks all. Yes, I think she is only just ready even though she's nearly 8 months. She loves porridge, yoghurt, pureed fruit etc. But then today she had some cheese on toast (in tiny bits fed on my finger) and loved it! . I'll try returning to first tastes for her.

Right, that's it. I'm never going out in the evening with all 3 kids again. Not until they are five or something. Absolutely ridiculous.

I nearly left Toby behind as well. A bit of a moment.

Hope you're all faring a bit better than I am right this minute! :(

Oh no lemele what happened?

Sleep regression in modena, was away for a few days at my mums and twins now all out of sorts. Takes ages to get them to sleep and involves lots of feeding (breast&bottle), rocking etc and gor naps. Think my laissezfaire approach is failing me, need to establish proper nap times as they are slways overtired at bedtime and too much crying involved for one twoarmed mother.

Any advice/suggestions welcome!

What happened Lemele? I am impressed you even made it out in the evening!! Hope you are ok and a 'good' nights sleep has made it all seem a bit better :)

I am suffering as well Claire. Just when I think things are getting a bit better, they don't!! Back to three hour feeding day and night at the mo... when they were doing a 4.5 hour stretch in the middle of the night. Oh well, I am sure it will return.

Claire, we have no routine here during the day - although we do always get up between 6 and 7am (when DD gets up we all get up). And they have milk when we get up even if they only had a feed a couple of hours earlier. They then feed and sleep when they want during the day - and sleep wherever they happen to be - play mat, bouncy chairs, travel cot - but always downstairs unless I am out and about in car/pushchair. I think I am lucky in that at the moment they just drift off whehever they fancy it - don't have to rock / settle them to sleep. For the last two nights I have started a routine at night time (previously just put them to bed when I went to bed). Now bath in their room (in a bucket!), then PJs then milk - then in sleeping bag and in cots. Start this at 6pm and they are in cots by 6.45pm. First night it took hour and half (and lots of shushing / patting / cuddling) to get them to both go to sleep - and then they woke half an hour later for milk! But last night they both fell asleep without any settling within about 10 minutes! Success! DT2 woke an hour later but I settled him back to sleep again. As they fed every three hours it was long until they were both awake for food again - but at least they seem to be getting the message of a 'bedtime' and me and DH had some precious time to ourselves downstairs - albeit for about 30mins!!! BUT IT WILL GET BETTER....!! this is what I chant to myself and tell DH when he is dispairing!!

What are your older DCs bedtimes / routines? I work it here so that DH sees to DD and I do the boys - but I know you don;t always have the luxury of having two pairs of hands. I am lucky that DH is home from work at a reasonable time and I have banned him from any evenings out unless my parents are here!!

Hello to everyone else. Can someone let Summer know she needs to make an appearance? Thanks

Eek lemele, sending and .

I scraped the ginormous car. Again. For the second time in a month :( . DT1 had woken up every 90 minutes in the night though... And i fed him back to sleep every time as i was too tired to do owt else...

Plus, of course, I couldn't get them to settle last night after posting that on here- one down 9pm,one 10:30 in the end. Boo! But ^one slept til 4am and one til 5am> . On the night they turned 3 months, 13 weeks. It may not happen again for ages, in fact I'm sure it won't but they did it once!!!!!

Claire also no day routine here except I have to walk boys to sleep.just the still unsuccessfully implemented bedtime routine.

Yay dream for better night!
Pants for car...I have to say, I did more damage to my car when pregnant than in my entire life! Backed into gate and rearended another car .. And that was with my little car too. I blame pregnancy hormones and you can blame lack if sleep, there!

bigboobs I do the same re naps during the day, but I find that they are finding it increasingly difficult to go sleep on their own. Especially dtb who jyst starts cryingand whinging a lot but not go to sleep until I feed him to sleep. By rvening they are so tired sometimes dtg cries for half an hour ( even feeding wont comfort her) besides herself. I do bath at 7 with an aim if having them in bed by 8 but normally is more like 9 or later..

The older two go upstairs at 8.30 termtime, 9.30 now they're on holiday, what time they actually sleep is quite another matter, but it's very hot here and I can't blame them..(btw I'd be very happy to send you some of our heat tbh, as I'm fed up of summer already! House swap anyone??)

your DTs are that bit older Claire that they are distracted by whats going on around them and fighting sleep - mine are still slugs and don't do much!! I am sure that will change soon and I will join Dream in pacing the streets to get them to sleep!! I forget your older DCs are old enough to get themselves to bed - even if the heat is stopping them sleeping. No such weather here - its the stormy weather keeping us all awake!

that sounds brilliant Dream - a chunk of sleep- wondeful! I hope you actually managed to sleep? and sorry about the car - but tiredness really does affect you so you don;t have to take any responsibility as fas as I am concerned!

I have always had to go to some effort to get mine to sleep though. We're lucky that we've got a big garden which goes all round the house so DD can play and/or nap and i can push the boys round and round the house if i don't want to drag them all out pavement-tramping. Once the buggy stops they generally wake up though. Or one does! I think in a few months I'll be posting exactly the same as you Claire...

I'm afraid to say that, first time parent that I am, I bought the Gina Ford book and tried to follow it to the letter. Unfortunately I forgot to ask the twins to read the book and so they didn't know that they were supposed to sleep at exactly 945am, 12pm etc etc! So the timings all went out of the window but I have tried to have some kind of eat, play, sleep routine from a pretty early age (6 weeks). I also sadly wrote down every feed, nap, poo until they were 12 weeks old! I am an accountant by background so obsessed with numbers, routines etc and I also liked to know when I was free to go out without worrying about feeding.

At the very start they used to go back to sleep immediately after every feed but by about 12 weeks they were staying awake for maybe 2 hours at a time? So our day would have been
630-7 feed
Play on bed
830-9 put back in cots for nap for 45mins-1hr
1030-11 feed
12-230 nap (in cots or in pram if I was going out so mostly in pram)
230-3 feed
430 nap
6pm bath
630 feed
They usually settle by 7ish and they love to look at their cot mobile which rotates (I made it myself using a disco ball rotating thing!) which seems to distract them after I leave the room

I used to wake them for a feed at about 1030-11pm and then at that age I think DTS was going until 530 ish and DTD waking about 330am ish. They dropped that night waking about 3 1/2 months I think

Hope this doesn't sound smug, I hesitated before posting and I know I am probably just lucky with good sleepers but quite a few of my twin mum friends have a similar routine and no longer do night feeds. Also I mainly ff with just bf in the morning now (used to bf and ff top up for every feed until weaning) and I think that does lend itself more to a routine, I don't think ebf babies would go 4 hours during the day?

cvb you dont sound smug at all!
Can I ask do you put your in their cot for nap times awake?
How do you decide when they need to go down? Ie when they show signs of tiredness or brcause its been x hours since they woke up or is it at a fixed times?

Sorry to bombard you with questions, just trying to work out what to do. And do you just put them in the cot and they self settle? Thanks so much for the advice!

Ps I saw the video you posted on the twin bstfeeding cushion thread, your dts are so sweet!

And at dcs not reading GF!

Hi Claire.
It's a combination of all of the above really. I know they usually nap at certain times, but if they seem to be getting tired before that time (eye rubbing, crying etc) I would put them down / in pram. If they still don't seem tired by say 30mins after usual time I would put them down.

I can put them down awake, play music and put mobile on and just leave the room now, and they will go to sleep. But at first I had to rock their cots for a bit. I used to feed them before their morning nap which would send them to sleep, but now they are having breakfast they don't need this anymore.

At bedtime they sometimes feed to sleep (bottles), if not then I put them down awake and put lullabies and mobile on. Maybe 1 night a week DTS will cry and I rock the cot, or do some shush/pat and leave him for a few minutes at a time. He usually goes off within 15 mins. DTD always just goes straight to sleep, touch wood!

Thanks for the tips cvb, I wish there was a magic firmula, but we'll have to work out a way that suits us.

Gosh you wouldnt think I've had 2 babies already would you? It was sooo much easier with just the one!!

Claire, if its any use (which it isn't) mine are offered routine, ie fed at the same time, nappies etc, put in the buggy, pushed to sleep yet invariably one wakes up.

Tonight we are 2 hours into 'settling', after baths. Seb finally gave up and is asleep. Ben is still fretting and crying and I'm sure he must be exhausted as the poor little thing has been miserable all day, crying and really colicky since after lunch, projectile vomiting again, just when i thought we might be getting out of the colic stage. DD is shouting and crying intermittently, crying now. Gah. I hate hate hate bedtime, or rather the total lack of it...

Our 'routine':

6.30am - wake up, bf, change nappies
7.30am - feed
9am - feed, they sleep in cot downstairs
11.30/12pm - feed, nappies off, playtime, whoop
1.30/2pm - feed, they sleep in cot downstairs
4pm till 5pm - feed on and off
5pm - 6.30pm - bath, bedtime, feed, they fall asleep roundabout 7pm and I put down in the cot.

Then DT1 normally wakes up around 10pm for a feed, then neither normally wakes till about 3am for another. Although they woke earlier last night. Anyway, the daytime naps happened sort of by themselves and I encouraged it. We vary a lot depending on what DD is up to and whether I have to get people out of the house (i.e. most mornings), but I just adjust slightly so they sleep in the buggy or at home or where ever is most convenient. They have been known to go 4 hours during the day if we're doing something, but then I just have to do a marathon bf later on. No biggie.

And I totally think feeding to sleep is FINE at this age, which I know not everyone agrees with. Once they hit 8 months I'll probably do the same as I did with DD and start bf first, then do the other routine things after so there's a gap between feeding and sleeping...HTH (And of course this never happens this smoothly every so feel free to completely ignore me! )

And ps, if anyone starts feeling jealous or think I'm being smug, let me tell you one thing: yesterday DD was playing beautifully with me, then one of the boys woke up. She hung her head, said in a little sad voice: "Oh dear, one of the boys has woken up. I suppose you'd better go feed them." And then sobbed. FFS. And DT2 has two marvelous bite marks on his face. So, you know, we all our crosses to bear. (I had a bad day yesterday, can you tell?)

Aw red. Tugging at the heartstrings! :(

The horrible evening yesterday began with DS being so tired that he was being just a horrible child and I just could not face him for the evening. Phoned my mum for help and she said she could take him for a couple of hours but was going to something at the school at 7pm so could I meet her there to pick DS up again. I (foolishly) agreed, thinking that this might be better than an evening with my grumpy DS! The school is about 30 mins walk and the pushchair is heavy and I was shattered (of course) so just walking there to pick him up was tiring. We ended up staying for a bit at this thing, some sort of creative evening, which was find until about 8:45pm DS decided he was tired and wanted to go. Cue walking home and realising just how tired I had made myself! Then once home DS was being a pain in going to bed (wanted to play, grrrr), meanwhile the twins were screaming themselves silly after being awake for far too long - hey they were snug in their pushchair, i thought they would sleep! So it was basically that. Jacob was crying so much that he wouldn't feed, his eyes were all red and puffy and ... you know. Just heartbreaking and infuriating when they wouldn't feed and the cushion kept slipping and they would latch then let go then slip etc...eventually managed to get them both to feed after trying for what felt like ages but they took at least half an hour longer to sleep. :(

Yeah anyway, not doing that again!

On a better note, today I decided enough was enough and attempted bedtime for ALL my boys (not just DS). I made DS go to bed ON TIME for a change - but since he was so SO tired and had missed his nap, he went to sleep straight away (instead of staying up til 9 which he has done for about the last 2 weeks...). There was some crying from DT2 but I bounced him furiously while putting DS to bed and it was ok.

So immediately afterwards I started feeding DT2 who fed for AGES despite not seeming very hungry at first, and then put him to bed. In perfect timing for once DT1 then woke up (he'd been asleep in the bouncy chair). Changed him and fed upstairs, keeping an eye on DT2. DT1 fed quickly and fell asleep too. Both went in their cots with no trouble! I came downstairs thinking, what on EARTH am I now going to do with my evening?!

I think the main reason this worked tonight is coz they're both so tired, but I'm going to attempt to carry this on now purely so I can have even half an hour to myself. Also they're still waking me up quite often in the night even when they only have ONE feed, so I may as well try it!

Hope everyone else is ok. Going to go enjoy my bed now - for a bit, hopefully, at least!

Oh help I have written a mahoosive post again lol.