Under 1s twin post-natal group? Should we have one? Who's in?!

[PeelingmyselfofftheCeiling]

The antenatal group is nearly full, any graduates fancy joining forces to compare

BB, of course you'll panic sweetie, entirely understandable! But I hope he's getting really good care and hopefully if someone is explaining things to you carefully you can feel a little calmer about it. Don't be afraid to ask them loads of questions, even the same ones again and again, because it's very overwhelming and hard to take in information. Wishing you every positive thought for today.

Oh bigboobs, I'd be in.such a state, you're doing so well. In some of my extensive reading about twins I read that ID twins dont always have the same health issues etc so don't worry about DT2, and he's been thriving so far. I'm so glad DT1 is feeding well and doing better and that DT2 will be with you for the day. I second peeling, just ask loads of questions. I always forget or don't dare and regret it later, but that's not been for anything as important as my children... Good luck today. Fill us in if you get a chance and vent away indeed. Xxxxx

Oh bigboobs how awful. Of course its scary. Do they know what caused the episodes yet? DT2 won't neccessarily get it and if DT1 has had it for a while would prob be shoiwing signs by now. FX it doesn't pass on. Hope today is a good day for you and he continues to feed well. Thinking of you xx

Hello bigboobs glad to hear dt1 is a bit better and that you will doon have td2 with you too.
As others have said, no need to apologise, this is what we're all here for, give and receive support.

Hope things keep improving. A big hug

Bb am so sorry to hear that. Dt2 did the non-breathing thing at 4 wks but only the once. I was convinced I'd suffocated him while bf. They thought he'd had q bit of milk come up the wrong way. Scariest moment of my life. I really sympathise. I hope they find a treatable cause soon.

just a quick check in. DT1 has been fine today - he has been monitored constantly and has had loads of tests - scans / xrays / blood tests etc and so far nothing of concern they has come up - so they have concluded (for now) that he has an infection and is having anti-biotics and they seem to be helping so hopefully he is on the mend. no more 'episodes' since yesterday afternoon. Took DT2 in today and put him in the cot with DT1 and they immediately settled and cuddled in to each other - very cute. DT2 seems absolutely fine so not so worried about him any more.

Worry levels and panic levels have lowered!! probably wont be home for a few more days but he is definitely going in the right direction - just hoping it stays that way.

thanks again for all your support and kind words. lets hope its business as usual and I just moan about how tired I am etc very soon!!

I love my boys so much - and DD of course!

So pleased to hear that DT1 moving in the right direction bigboobs can feel your relief at being together as a family. Very sweet that DT2 snuggled into DT1, amazing how they seem to know what the other needs. Hope tonight a bit easier for all of you.

xxx

Brilliant news bigboobs, and your twins snuggling together is so sweet

Oh that's so good to hear bigboobs and lovely they snuggled up together. I hope he keeps on getting better and better.

I shall add a tired moan for a touch of normality
The boys slept in 40 minute patches last night. Today they slept once for 90 min. A few 5-10 minute catnaps. They won't settle now. Cry feed cry feed cry feed cry some more. Exhausting and soul destroying. Struggling with the feeding now, keep wondering about formula top ups but if i start I think I'll start worrying about my supply etc etc so really I just want to persevere but i am so exhausted. DD is getting a bum deal from me atm.

Will wait to hear more positive twin things from the weaners, and hope everyone else is doing ok (particularly DT1 bigboobs)

dreaming ah sleep... I'm now going to ask annoying and rambling questions in the style of someone who can't think of the proper name of things anymore. Do you have any family/friends who could come round do a house blitz, laundry, make you some meals for the freezer and hold a baby for 40 mins whilst you have a snooze with the other one, preferably twice a week but once a week would also help, give you a little island. Or if affordable a night maternity nurse for one night a week. I found if I had one night a week I could do it but I was not breastfeeding.

I found it got a lot easier at 3 months and then less easy at 4 months and has really picked up since they were 7 months. Do you have a bf advisor who can come to your house to give you some advice on your ff question? Trying to properly spend time with another child would probably have been completely beyond me at that point, imagine that's very difficult even if DD on best behaviour, which is quite a lot to ask of any child making room for twin siblings, is your partner able to give some focussed attention to her?

In the world of weaning I gave DT1 a fraction of smoked mackerel today, he made a face of complete disgust and directly went back for the other bit on my finger, made me smile. We also managed to get to the swings which brings on squeals of joy.

pigcon, I am very lucky. I have a cleaner once a week for 3 hours. The rest of the time it degenerates!! My mum and dad are driving up a lot to help. My dad took the dts yesterday in their buggy while DD was napping so i went to bed (& didn't manage to get to sleep... In an hour. Totally depressing but I'm almost too tired to sleep iykwim). and he really struggled to keep them half calm for that hour... My dad is currently paying a nanny lady to help me 2 days a week in the day but the constant feeding means its still virtually impossible to have a rest. DD does get loads of attention this way though, but from a grandparent et , or dh when he's home and I take her to playgroup 3-4 mornings a week and the swings most afternoons but always with someone with me so her 1:1 with me is very limited atm :( . If they'd ever just settle after a feed... And noooo, it can't get harder again at 4 months, banned! (& this is if it gets easier at three months!)

bigboobs, I'm glad you're all back together and hope that the anti-biotics do their job so you can come home.

Dreaming, I never ebf my two as they were on topups from day 3, and am totally in awe of anyone who can ebf twins especially with an older dd too! Amazing! Tops ups are very hard work, it means having to prepare bottlrs, sterilise etc and it definately affected my supply so really now my two are ff with bf tops ups! In hindsight I think it would be better to replace one feed (perhaps late at night) with a ff, you could express a bit off to make sure you don't get engorged and then get some sleep! (ie better than top ups, not suggesting you do ff unless you want to). For us, it got easier at 3 months and has stayed that way until just recently with teething, but only the odd night waking, not every night and not even for a feed just a cuddle!

Sounds like you're very well organised. Hats off to your parents and particularly to anyone who takes both for an hour, the getting them out of the house was key to sleep for me, otherwise I just couldn't help listening out for them. Totally understand the not being able to sleep bit, so frustrating, I found when I did sleep even a shortish nap left me feeling fairly refreshed, different quality of sleep. I think some of the rest of the group have older siblings to include, it sounds like you're doing a lot to try and give DD as much attention as possible, you're just caught by not having any free time and that's tough.

The four month 8 week blip was because I felt so pleased with myself they both had started sleeping thru at 3 months and I thought I was some sort of ultimate parent (that'll learn me). Then when DT1 started waking between 2 and 5.30 am I was completely floored and only after 7 weeks worked out that of course he loved the one on one cuddles and milk he was getting during that time and why would he want to give it up, I can laugh now...
Know everyone says the only thing to expect is that everything is a phase, I just hadn't taken it on.

I found they settled for longer once they started having the whole of their feed. Have you got the hang of feeding them both at the same time?

Hi everyone, we are now back home! So pleased to have everyone back together and DT1 does seem much better - trying not to panic too much but the thought of something similar happening again fills me with dread - i can't watch him 24/7. I am really trying not to think about it too much as it makes me feel sick to be honest. Anyway, he is on a course of anti-biotics and he really does look so much better - and he is now 7lb 2 - whereas when he was weighed on monday he was 6lb 7 so he has put on lots of weight in just a few days.

Anyway, enough of me.....!!

Dream, sorry to hear sleep is still so hard to come by. I have huge admiration for anyone that ebfs - mine were having two feeds a day each from me (expressed milk in a bottle) and the rest formula, but my milk is decreasing and the amount they need is increasing - so now they only have a max of one feed each of my milk. And the last few days have meant that I have found it really hard to express much at all (expressing not successful if I am not relaxed). When DD was this age she fed very frequently - lots of little feeds every 1 1/2 - 2 hours. However, the boys are very different - they both feed 4 hourly (DD never managed that long wothout milk!!) - and I always feed them at the same time. Because they go a good stretch between feeds they take the whole lot (100ml). In the first couple of weeks they did 'snack' earcly evening till midnight / 1am - feeding little and often and being very unsettled. But I now make sure I stick to the 4 hours to stop the 'snacking' - if they were to cry for food they could have it, but if they just wake and are unsettled then I comfort them for as long as I can befor I feed them (cuddles, pacing the floor etc etc!). However, they are both pretty much like clock work now - not quite sure how this has happened or how long it will last!

I am sure your boys Dream will begin to take bigger feeds and therefore feed less often - that should then give you more of a break between feeds. You are doing amazingly well doing all that you do (park, toddler groups etc) - I am no where near that organised/brave yet! How is your DD's sleep now? I know we were btoh struggling with unsettled toddlers before babies arrived!!

Pigcon - sleeping through at 3 months!?!! Thats the holy grail!My DD has only just strated sleeping through and she is 27 months!!! Do they sleep through again now after their 'phase'?

I have the opposite worry at the moment - mine sleep ALL the time - they do have the odd 'awake time' after a feed where they have their eyes open looking around - but this only last about 15 mins at the most, the rest of the time they are out sparko! I guess they are only 3 1/2 weeks and have onyl just reached their EDD. Does this sound normal? When I think back to DD at this age I can remember how frustrated I was that she only ever slept for 20 mins at a time....!!

Hello to every one else - Ceeveebee, Claire, Red, Silver, Tiggers, and Peeling - and thank you again for all your lovely messages, it really did help :-)

Yey, glad you're home bigboobs. He'll be fine now, but i know how you must feel re: not being able to watch them all the time.

Ha ha, sleep. Do parents talk about anything else? I've always been (totally unreasonably) smug about DD's sleeping and how wonderful we are as parents for her wonderful sleeping habits. Blahdidblah. UNTIL now when she has moved into a big bed and comes and pays us nightly visits with all manner of interesting excuses- I need a poopoo, I want some milk, can I have a story, sing me a song, I have mangos on my shoulders. I'm not convinced she was awake when she came up with that last one.

Btw, this is not meant to depress anyone - there are more good nights than bad, but still, sleep. Ah, lovely sleep.

We're doing great - I'm seemingly just about managing dealing with the 3 of them on my own during the week. We've had one meltdown (me) in two weeks which I reckon is good going. DD is still attacking her brothers, but I have to remind myself she does it a lot less then she kisses them and does lovely things for them. She did leave DT1 with a rather nasty bruise on his nose from where she tried to eat it...but never mind

ha ha - mangos!! They do say some funny things. DD woke me in the night recently crying that her toys were pushing her out of her bed!!

Glad to hear DD is a little more used to her new siblings... my DD is very loving to the boys, but her rugby tackle cuddles almost knock their heads off so I have to watch her constantly if she is with them as she literally smothers them with love! Her behaviour has got a little worse since the babies arrived... lots more tantrems and difficult behaviour, but not too bad considering. I think I am handling it ok but DH on the other hand does not have my patience and thinks she is naughty :-(

Have DT2 on my lap and sweat he just smiled at me. please dont tell me its just wind ;-)

Hi all, been super busy (trying to sell house) so not managed to pop by for prob a week or so! I cried reading your posts bigboobs (curse these post-pregnancy hormones), hope all is well now and that your DT is improving - all that weight gain in a couple of days is great though, so hopefully all is well now! It must be frightening imagining it'll happen again but as time goes on your confidence in his health will increase.

Dreaming how you're still standing I don't know, all that lack of sleep etc... perhaps you really are superwoman in disguise?! Or maybe it's just that we all deal with what we're hit with and can't imagine anything worse than our own situation..

I'm starting to struggle without the DH in the evenings. We've started having cooked meals at lunchtime on the days he works in eves, which has helped, but I've still got to put DS1 to bed of course - tonight was horrid: just had to leave the twins crying like mad while I put DS1 to bed - who sometimes has to come first for a change! - because no amount of comforting worked for long enough. It was a lot longer than I've really left them before and they were both so worked up it was horrible - the sort of crying that leads to coughing and sicking up - but nothing I could do, poor DS has been struggling to get to sleep anyway coz of the hot weather so I couldn't bear to leave him any later than half an hour past his bedtime.

Am praying that the DH gets some DAY shifts soon, coz the evenings alone can be hellish at times, and we're on 4 evenings a week now...

bigboobs great to hear you're home. Hope you get outside for some sun over the weekend. Def a first smile ;)
They do sleep thru now although as red points out there are better and worse nights (teething, early waking...). They did sleep a lot at the beginning and I did wake them to feed every 3 hours (from start of feed) if they didn't wake and fed them together. Still have the 7.30, 10.30, 1.30, 4.30 7.30... Alarms on my mobile.
red can just imagine your facial expression to the mangos one! How long will you be on your own for?

Briefly popping on to say I'm so glad your boy is home and gaining weight bigboobs, what a relief.

4 hourly feeding?! Oh, the bliss... I am trying my hardest to space feeds, my colicky boys were just loaded screaming into the buggy at 10pm and walked round for 45 minutes but are still screaming. Feeding comforts them briefly but also ? makes them worse. Bloody colic, I'm tearing my hair out and just shattered... Nothing gripe water/ gaviscon wise seems to help. It's all just such a struggle atm. I can feed together but its clearly not going that well- to make matters worse today i have a really sore boob and feel a bit achey. Hoping to feed out whatever's blocked before its full blown mastitis. :(

rednellie, I'm just so impressed... Mine would be worked up screaming like lemele describes so much with just me. There's still hours and hours of colicky crying a day here. Are you getting out with all three? Do you tandem feed when out? I resorted to it in a hospital waiting room yesterday for a follow up appt and it was difficult and a bit too exposed for me!! If you do, how do you do it?! I did a kind of double cradle, but it was hard, especially putting then down ( dh was at home with DD so was on my own)
lemele evenings alone would polish me off. We've only has two where dh wasn't here so far and both were stressful. Hoping for day shifts for him pronto!

pigcon I'm hanging onto yours improving at 3 months and sleeping now. Go you, clearly a super parent :)
My DD is miles better since the boys were born bigboobs. We still have bad times- the other evening the boys screamed for 4 hours n DD for 2 & it was just horrible, but crossing everything, she's often sleeping through now (20 months)

Oh I'm tired. Please sleep boys. Please heal boob.

dream, oh the evil colic. I really hope they turn the corner soon (which they should do, right?) Here in Canada they call it 'purple crying' and have some very sensible advice for it, some of which consists of: put the babies down somewhere safe, go somewhere you can't hear them for 10 mins, then go back! But, I think you should try and get your helpers to help you have sleep - I find now, that even if I don't have a proper sleep, if I just fall asleep it sometimes helps. Seemingly the act of allowing myself to fall asleep is as good for me as sleeping for an hour or two (which a) never happens and b) always makes me feel groggy during the day).

pigcon - I'm only 'alone' as in my DH's at work and I don't have any help and/or family around. But we're doing OK - I generally try to be super organised in the evening, getting things ready for the next day and make sure we get loads done in the morning, i.e. in the evening I try and make up all the nappies for the next day and stow them away in a box downstairs so I don't have to run up and down during the day (leaving the room with DD and DT's in is fatal). Or DH does good things like chopping up lots of grapes, ham and cheese and putting in the fridge so I can make instant snacks for DD so at least she only moans/cries for the shortest amount of time!!

I haven't tandem fed in public as just can't be bothered with becoming a circus and we tend to feed them separately during the day anyway so it normally works out. I also find, most members of the public hate hearing a newborn cry so I look all helpless and get some sucker to hold one while I feed. We do get out - the half an hour before leaving the house are a total mare (getting all nappies changed, making DD go to the toilet, forcing clothes on etc) but once we're out I actually find it much easier than staying in. Vancouver houses are a total pain though as we have a flight of stairs down to the ground (a stoop) which means it's a bit of a puzzle working out which child to take down when. I often have one twin in a sling, another in the Phil and Ted thing which has handles and then hold DD's hand going down.

DH just looked over my shoudler and was very rude about me being long winded, so I've got to go (he has ulterior motives, i.e. wants me off the computer). Love to you all and so glad bigboobs little one is on the mend.

red yep, sorry badly phrased which I only thought about an hour after posting.... Glad it's going ok, much thanks to your planning. Stairs get me sweating I avoid the whole who will I carry situation at all costs, v interesting to hear how you get round it (with three!)
dreaming colic and incipient mastitis on top of no sleep, so sorry that's just really crappy, my heart goes out to you.

Just been skim-reading again.

"I also find, most members of the public hate hearing a newborn cry so I look all helpless and get some sucker to hold one while I feed."

Gotta love it I'm sure my main reason of going to toddler group these days is to give the twins to someone else...

pigcon didn't mean to sound snotty - realised I probably did, damn quotation marks, damn you! Just thought I'd sounded a bit 'woe is me' when I said I was alone, when really I'm only technically alone for the hours DH is at work.

Oh, hold on, I'm not alone am I?

(and thanks Lemele, that is totally why I go to toddler groups full stop)