D'y ever wonder where the time goes....

[bubby64]

...When juggling kids, family, home, school and work?
I know, I know, feeble effort, but I really don't know where my year has gone! Its towards the end of February now, past half term for most of us, and I don't even seem to have blinked!
We were celebrating DH's birthday today, and I'm sure he had his last one only a couple of months ago, or thats how it seems to me.
As for the years since my 2 were born, well, they seem to have gone in a blink of an eye.

Evening girls.........well the good news is DK got a call from Kings again today. He goes in for the op at 11am next Weds for surgery the same day! Apparently he can`t go up the night before as they do not have a bed!!! I just want it it over and done with, asap esp now with my poor Mums problems. Also .............................selfishly .....................I am looking forward to some peaceful evenings......am I being horrid under the circumstances? Tell me, you all know me well enough.

:o

Rubes which DOE is he doing? My two are doing the bronze in Aug, but have done dummy run already. Nightmare packing everything!

Bubs, sounds as though you have lots going on too, must be awful for your poor Mum, its a cruel disease.

Oh Bubby - I am more than sure that you have told me that your Mum has that evil condition/illness....my Mum has it too. At the moment my Mum is managing it well. She takes tablets every day that seem to be keeping stuff under control. Right now she is forgetful and sometimes repeats herself. Its the most cruel illness. I dread her getting worse. She is selfless, loving, funny etc etc but I know the day will come when things go downhill.

xxxxxxxx

Hope you dont mind my friends....today is 20 years since my precious third son - Matty - was killed. I miss him more than words could ever say. He reminds me of laughter, sunshine, flowers, vibrant colours, kissing, little girls with red ribbons in their hair (his nursery/primary school girlfriend)....I cant sleep - his footsteps run through my mind and my dreams. Forever missed Matty - wish you could be here for just 30 minutes more for me to hold you and kiss you. Oh my word you will soon be 28 years old. Thank you girls...cant post on the bereaved Mums thread at the moment - too difficult.

Morning xx

Thinking of you Shabs.

Hope this weather clears ds1 is off on cub camp for 2 nights tomorrow. Hasn't been away that long before!

Wow shabs, 20 years! Thinking of you. xxx

He always sounds such an amazing lad, I loved that quote you did, had to hunt it down -

'I cant wead (will try and write it how he said it), and I cant wite but Im not boffered - I can do sports and art and I wove kissing giwls and they wove kissing me!!'

I will always think of him now when dd is struggling at school!

Bubby, I get them all from MSE, the compers forum. There is enough on there to make comping a full time job! Hope your DH is better soon, and your mum regains some clarity. Wish the boys good luck in their SATs! I don't know if your senior school will be anything like ours, but dd seems to be constantly retested and her scores adjusted, so it takes some of the onus off the big ones in year 6.

I don't think anyone would think you are being horrid at all, tripos. you NEED a break!

Chops - in Year 1 Matt's teacher said (in his report) 'Matthew will never be the brains of Britain. BUT he is kind, loving, funny and a joy to teach. He is very popular and loved by his classmates - especially the girls!! At times he could win gold medals for sulking but I cant tell him off when he looks at me with those big eyes. Well done Matthew for trying so hard.'

Never worry about children who are not 'academic' or who seem to struggle at school. Just hold them closer, hug them more and remember there is a place for everyone in this world. Being kind, funny and compassionate means more than 1000 GCSE passes xxx

'Being kind, funny and compassionate means more than 1000 GCSE passes' - so true, shabs!

for those not on facebook, look at this gorgeous pic of Estar's ds and dd!

here

That is so beautiful. xxxx

Shabbs - You are in my thoughts and prayers. I lost my little brother when he was 5yrs old, and that was hard enough, being the mum who has lost her child must be a thousand times worse. We are all here for you and never mind you posting whenever and whatever you need to. As for your mum, make the most of your time with her, mine has gone downhill so fast in the past year, it is heartbreaking. I now can no longer have a conversation with her, as she loses the thread within the first few sentances. I really miss just being able to pop into her for a chat, as she was always so level headed and full of advice, especially when things got me down.
Trips - please leave the shed , my love, no, you are not to feel guilty about wanting the peace, you have been through, and are still going through so much, you need the small breathing space you have been offered, even though it is through such circumstances.
Chops - Thank you for the pic of Estars DC, it is lovely.
Ooggs- we are also meant to be doing a family scout camp this weekend, I think it may get cancelled, as the Spinney is flooded, and there is more rain and flood warings here!
DH still off work, and now Mike home with him, as also got a cough and sore throat! Also, James wet the bed last night fotr the first time in years- he is getting so worked up about these stupid SATs, I feel like pulling them both out of school for the week!

warings????? I mean warnings!

Have had such beautiful messages on Facebook today about Matt. Each one is cherished and treasured.

One girl - well she is now married with three children!!!! just put the following -

I dont remember to many days from my childhood ..Today is one i do came bk from my dads to hear the dreadfull news ...One of the most charming young boys to ever grace this planet xxx

that just nearly finished me off!! A little boy who made his mark on this world in his short life xxxx

Just typed a long message and bloody machine shut down on me and if it does it anymore I am going to throw it out of the bloody window.
What I said in a much shorter version was this.
My amazing special friend, why did it have to take the deaths of our Matthews for us to find each other? I never knew the Sharon before she lost her beloved boys, but I am soooo glad I know and have you in my life xx. I am saying in all honesty you are the only person who knows me, understands me and although we have met just once I know that you and I are joined forever. xx

Will post this incase machine packs up.

Awake since 3am as I drunk too much last night. Friends from Cornwall arrived, planned visit. I drank to forget for a few hours and wish I hadn`t, my heart is pounding, head is spinning and I feel sick. I took my mum for her appt y/day to see a vascular nurse, she has waited 6 weeks for the appointment. We were in there over an hour.

Bloody machine...........grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
He ran a few quick basic tests, looked at her poor feet. At 9am this morning I have to take her into hospital in Canterbury, to stay in. She has virtually no blood supply in her right leg, and only 50% in her left. She has to have an emergency angiogram. Best case scenario is she will lose 2 or 4 toes. Worst case, her leg. I feel sick, feel guilty as it should never have got to this stage. My poor poor mum, she is 84. I am just glad my lovely lovely dad is not here to see this, it would have broken his heart. H got a call on Weds, he goes into hospital for open lung surgery next Weds, op same day. If anyone tells me anymore what an amazingly strong person I am I will scream. Feeling sick with wine and fear.
Will post later. xx

Morning girls xx

Oh Trips none of this crap is your fault love. Cant imagine how you must be feeling - I totally agree with the 'your strong' thing....sometimes we have no option but to be that. 'Strong' - while inside we are like jelly. I dont know the words that will help other than I am here when you want to scream.

Morning Shabs, apple juice from now on! Better get up and face the day. xx

Morning girls xx

{{hugs}} to you both.

I am goosed.........got Mum to hospital at 10am and got home at 7pm. Poor Mum, she has been poked and prodded and scanned, she has sat on a hard chair all day, she has been looked at by so many I have lost count. I left her at 7pm, still sat in a chair, still waiting for a bed in a ward. We get the ct result tomorrow, surgery will happen asap, but how much she will lose I don`t know, my gut feeling is more than her toes. Not one child has asked today how she is. My poor poor Mum. xx

Oh trips!

Sod the trolley, let's open the gin! Everything crossed it does go straightforward .

Morning girls x

There is a strange big round yellow thing in the sky here, I'm not sure what it is!