d`y ever wonder what life was like before Mumsnet?

[triplets]

Boring............you have all been my life-line........just wish we could all meet up occasionally, I could bring the trolley:)
Scrap my feeble first attempt, tired .........very tired............yawnnnnnnnnn

Reading my post back, how it comes across I hope I don't scare you!

I just think like you say, if one of them got hurt, or told someone you would have ss on your doorstep and it really is hellish then. You can sort this out as a family and deal with these issues yourself. You've done the best thing by telling him to stay away - I wish I had been as strong!

Bubby - you have made the right decision. Nothing more to say other than 'I've been there, put up with it, and still here.' Thats because I am not strong like you xxxx

Morning girls - I only just woke up

ha ha ha ha ha - omg have got a gob like the bottom of a budgie cage!!

Hi girls, thanks for the advice. In my heart, I know I did the right thing, its just so hard, M is crying and blaming me, 'cause he wants to be with DH, J has just gone v quiet (v unusual for him!), and keeps saying "its just for a couple of days, isn't it". DH is staying with a work friend for the next few days, with the option of staying there longer if required (the friend recently had a lodger who moved out, so has a spare room).
I have contacted the Autistic society, and they are finding someone in this area who can council DH.

It could well be, Shabs, I think you have a good point, but at least someone who understands asd will have a better shot of getting through to him than a counsellor who doesn't understand how a person with asd is wired differently. Ds learns so much better with ppl who do understand it.

Good on you bubby, just hang on in there! Does your dh have sensory issues? Ds1 can be very short tempered because he can't filter very well. It all builds up on him.

Sorry I mean rubes, not Shabs!

Morning girls xx

Hi hops and all, DH hates it if it's too noisy, even when I don't think things are that loud, he's asking for the noise to be turned down, he also has light sensitivity, and s wears reactight lenses. I think the noise thing is a big problem with DH and the boys, as they are not that quiet at the best of times, and when they are misbehaving they are worse.
I think it's not just the aspergers, but it doesn't help matters. A lot of it has to do with his expectations in their behaviour. He says he's as very badly behaved as a child, but he feels it was due to having no real parental guidence, and the boys should be better as they have 2parents who care, but, of course, this does not make a difference when you have sibling rivalry plus pre teenage angst involved, they are going to push the boundaries like any other boy of their age!

Morning girls xx

Hey bubby. How are you today?

That's where dh went wrong - unrealistic expectations and desperately wanting to bring up well behaved kids who wouldn't go off the rails, but not recognising normal behaviour! I think it is a fear of a lot of parents now, with so much in the media about teenagers who do go haywire. The parenting course helped DH with that, but as they get older, he gets new expectations and has slipped a bit. Though he never smacks them now, just shouts a hell of a lot!

It must be very hard with the sensory issues. DS1 is touch and sound sensitive.
When it gets too much for him, he just collapses and wants to go to sleep to block it all out. He used to bottle it all up at school, then literally drop outside the school gate. I guess an adult doesn't have that option!

Hang on in there >

We had a lovely day yesterday, went to the hockey matches. The kids could make as much noise as they wanted, and everyone was chilled!

Morning All.
Hi Hops - Glad you had a good day. I'm fine. I've had to let school know the barest minimum of what is going on, just that we are having some time apart, not saying why, as M still angry at me, and J still tearful. I have arranged a talk with DH and a counciller and am also looking into a parenting course, just so we can get some insight into the behaviour to expect. DH is so sorry, and he says it wont happen again, but I am still saying we have to get help. I and the boys want him home, and he wants to come home, but i feel i cant risk this just yet, I have to think about their safety first. Maybe by the middle of the week we can look again.

Thats good, sounds like you and dh are doing all the right things and hope the talk with the councillor goes well xx

Glad you are switched on to ask for support bubby and hope you get some soon

I shout too much

Atishhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooo!

Yes girls, I had a great time at CP :(

Welcome back Trips

Morning girls xx

Spent most of the day in bed, feel awful, so much for a w/end away. Got up at 6.45am, kids went to school at 8.10am and I headed back here. Not one cuppa brought up to me..............
wheres that hot toddy

Hot toddy and choccy nuts on a platter for trips

Poor u. Did the trio enjoy the break? Is dh behaving?

I'm off to drop the older two to Norfolk tomo, then off to posh hotel tomo I am full of snots tho!

Hi Trips, sorry to hear you are ill, have added some lemsip to trolley.
We are meeting with counciller on Thursday evening, can't belive we have got an appointment that quickly! Autistic Society a great help with this. I know DH wants to move back this weekend, but I have said we have to see how 1st session goes, and then make a decision. I am hoping that the fact he is willing to go bodes well, at least he has agreed to this, and that maybe it indicates he is willing to acknowledge that this is a problem and not ignore it.