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Multicultural families

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Original poster

Any chinese mothers out there???

460 replies

blossom2 · 05/01/2005 20:51

I was just wondering

DH is english and DD is a wonderful mix of both of us. people say she looks english/white when out with Dh and chinese when she's out with me!!!

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yingers74 · 13/04/2005 14:29

my dd looks exactly like my dh, most people say she does not look chinese at all!

csa · 14/04/2005 16:28

hi yingers. hope you start feeling better soon. when are you due blossom? my due date is this sunday!!! got a fridge full of confinement herbs and a earful of advice from the lady at the chinese grocery shop about not bathing and touching water for the first 40 days
did anyone follow this faithfully?

Original poster
blossom2 · 14/04/2005 19:45

Hi everyone

oh, i've got ages to go yet - 1 august is due date but really hoping that she's early like DD was.

when are you due yingers?

I got severly told off by my mother about not leaving the house, bathing in rice wine & eating chickent etc. I left the house when DD was 2 weeks old to visit my parents! not bathing/washing hair/touching water - didn't follow that one either - was desperate for a shower after a few days....

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yingers74 · 15/04/2005 12:55

LOL blossom and csa, my mum also gave me this advice and I also failed to follow it although i never told her that. At the moment she is telling me off for standing on a chair to open a window, she says that i should not be doing such physical things!

I think early/mid novermber although not totally sure as I never had an AF after my miscarriage, i could be as early as late october but probably not more than that. I dont have a scan till
May so won't really know till then.

csa - wow, are you nervous? And do you know whether it is a boy or girl? Sorry am being nosey!

suzywong · 15/04/2005 13:22

Oh Yingers are you up the duff again!

marz · 15/04/2005 13:35

congrats on all these babies/pregnancies I am feeling rather sad and broody....have 2 dd's and def will not have more....but would just love to be pregnant again!!! Ok...I admit the idea is better than reality!
Anyway, I will be thinking of you and all the sleepless nights ahead....(ok, just needed to say that to remind myself!)

Pam70 · 15/04/2005 20:18

Sorry - haven't been on the web lately - have just seen message from Rai - if you're looking at this and are in Belfast, email me pam_yeh at yahoo dot co dot uk

I think CAT may take a few days. Are you enjoying yourself in Belfast, Rai?

re: confinement - I was so thirsty after breastfeeding that I immediately reached for the coke (as in cola!) in the fridge on my first day home from the hospital to horrified gasps from my mother.

Ignored all the stuff about not bathing.

My DS (4 in June) has his dad's colouring while DD (7 months) is slightly darker but otherwise they look pretty alike.

They were both born with that bluey-grey eye colouring which later turns brown but can't remember when it turned with DS and DD's hasn't turned yet.

Good luck CSA!

Rai · 16/04/2005 21:49

Snap with the water thing. The need to wash was too great!

When both children were one month old my mother took us out for a meal at a Chinese restruant, which I guess isn't really traditional but I know the occasion is usually marked. I was recently asked by a chinese friend who is in her 50's did I cut ds hair when she was one month old to get rid of baby hair and allow the new hair to grow, has anyone done this?

I am empathising with you all re: morning sickness and hope it goes soon.

ds has fair hair and looks a mix btw me and dh, though I am quite jealous of his beautiful long curly eyelashes, dd has black hair and at moment looks Chinese.

Pam:Belfast is relaxing as in-laws give us a much needed break! see you

yingers74 · 18/04/2005 14:53

suzy yes!

yingers74 · 18/04/2005 14:58

the hair thing - yes was told to do this by my mum and grandma, ignored it. However, have regretted it as dd's hair growth has been incredibly slow, I would say it is only beginning to grow now although still not enough to even do a pony tail!!! With the next one I will be getting the electric shaver out!

suzywong · 18/04/2005 15:04

oh that's great when are you due?

Pam70 · 18/04/2005 16:55

Yingers - let me know if that shave works - DD at 7 months going on 8 is still a baldy!

My Chinese friends' kids at that age have a whole head of beautiful thick jet black hair and they didn't resort to shaving so I don't know if this is just a genetic thing?

If you look at caucasian children, you'll find that the fair haired ones remain quite bald till they're a little older.

Rai - got your email and will give you a ring to pick the toy up - probably not today or tomorrow as have job interview tomorrow morning - long story but I applied for another job while on mat leave.

yingers74 · 18/04/2005 21:05

not sure, suzy, waiting for scan in may as did not get an af after the m/c. Although i think it is the first half of nov!

yingers74 · 18/04/2005 21:08

pam - my dd was also very bald at that age, not sure what it is, you may as well cut any hair as you have nothing to lose as such!

Rai · 18/04/2005 21:37

#1 child hair dropped off head by one month so didn't need to think about cutting, but it took ages to grow back, he's 2.5 and only had two hair cuts and those were in the last 6 months. #2 has thick black hair which sticks up in a mohican and I didn't want to cut it of looks to cute.

Pam your dd looks cute, put electric shaver away!!!

florenceuk · 19/04/2005 09:18

Hi everyone - anyone got any weaning tips? Hoping to avoid the problems I had with DS who is a bread fanatic but doesn't like plain rice or, to tell the truth, any veges really (v. embarassing when you go home - whoops). I thought, start them off on congee and maybe add stuff?? Mind you, DD shows no enthusiasm for anything but pear at the moment...

yingers74 · 19/04/2005 14:11

My mum always gave my dd congee and still does, and she does love plain rice. I gave her pureed fruits, veg, cooked dishes etc, but despite my best efforts dd dislikes veg unless hidden and only eats a limited selection of fruit. She was great until one and then wham!

My advice is give lots of variety including congee and hope it sticks! Good luck

Original poster
blossom2 · 20/04/2005 10:08

Hi everyone

Agree with yingers, give lots of variety and finger food (if they are at that stage). I found it kept DD busy whilst i fed her.

I've been lucky in that DD does eat her veg & fruit - doesnt like cauliflower much though.

Wasnt one of us due the sunday just gone?? i can't remember who it was and can't seem to find her message. Anyone heard any news??

OP posts:
yingers74 · 20/04/2005 14:35

i think it was csa, but not heard anything, might check out the april due thread

suzywong · 20/04/2005 14:41

my MIL made a load of congee (she calls it tzuk-tzuk) and stashed it in the freezer before her annual 4 month holiday back to Malaysia, and I have run out

yingers74 · 21/04/2005 22:00

oh no, how good are you at making it?

I am pretty bad as I keep forgetting that I am cooking it and then burn it!!!!

my mum came round today and she is so worried after my previous m/c that she makes me lie down for the entire time she is there! Even though I keep explaining to her that for the other six days of the week she is not here, I walk, run and jump about with dd! But she thinks resting some of the time is better than nothing!

Original poster
blossom2 · 21/04/2005 22:09

Thats really nice of your mum yingers!!

How are you feeling these days??

I spoke to my mother this evening and told her that we were planning a holiday (only 3 hrs drive) when the baby is about 2 weeks old. She completely flipped. it must have been a good 20 mins before she let me say anything - needless to say i backed down and told her a lie and we would cancel the trip. I did think about the last few messages about traditions and it helped me keep my cool.... so thank you everyone !!

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yingers74 · 27/04/2005 20:26

blossom - i still feel yuck! I really believe if men were the ones to get pregnant, it would be a far easier process and you would get 4 free trips to a spa a month!

hope you have a lovely trip.

csa · 27/04/2005 21:20

hi all, kristof zachary xuan was born on the 20th april. doing fine although he had jaundice like ds1 so we were admitted back into the hospital over the weekend and hence, the long silence. back at home now and hopefully, the blood test he had today will confirm that no further follow ups are required. in a way, glad ds1 had jaundice now otherwise we would not have spotted it in kristof. we had to insist to the midwife that we go to the hospital for the test because we think he was jaundice and she only agreed because of ds1's history. when we got there, we were immediately admitted as the level was rather high. well, fingers crossed - we get the test results tomorrow.

re. the hair thing, was told the same thing but ds1 had a full head of hair and couldn't bring myself to do it. his hair growth to date does not seem to have been affected so not doing it with ds2 either. lasted a week, ok, 5 days and had a shower and have to report that i am really sick of the confinement food now and it's only been one week. help! for some reason, dh's pizza and chicken balti looks sooooo much yummier............

Original poster
blossom2 · 28/04/2005 19:39

MANY MANY MANY CONGRATULATIONS CSA!!!

Glad you caught the jaundice early and keeping our fingers crossed for you!!!

I'm so envious . i can't wait until august although baby is lying really low. i'm concerned that she's too low and therefore going to be too early. probably just pregnancy hormones.

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