Any chinese mothers out there???

[blossom2]

I was just wondering

DH is english and DD is a wonderful mix of both of us. people say she looks english/white when out with Dh and chinese when she's out with me!!!

Keeping our fingers crossed for you Yingers. You are lucky though to get pregnant so quickly!! Make sure you get lots of rest.

will do so blossom, hope all is good in paris, is it as cold as london? And on a completely note, do you think it will be paris or london that gets the olympics?

Paris is a couple of degrees colder than London and its been snowing like crazy. Bit tired of it now - its march for goodness sake!!

Dh works for a media company and has brought up all the outdoor advertising space for the event. So i'd have to say Paris although fingers crossed for London!!!

Red Haired Ghost says hello!
Am shattered. DD and I met up with other MN'ers today in Meadowhall (Sheffield). It is great to get together.

Excellent news Yingers! Hope you're not feeling too sick.

On a completely different note, anyone here marry someone of a different race and had problems after delivery?

For example, DD (6 months) had very severe jaundice right after birth and had to have two complete exchange transfusions (they had to replace her blood completely with donor blood twice over) and the suspected cause of this was some antigens in my blood which I developed after giving birth to DS (3 1/2 years)

A nurse mentioned in passing that blood complications were quite common in mixed race relationships and suggested blood matching tests.

Just curious if anyone else has had similar experiences.

pam - didn't have any probs like that. Hmm I have a sneaky feeling this nurse was talking rubbish!

Blossom2 - that comment about it being your colouring rather than jaundice is apparently quite a common one.

I got it with a MW - she said she wasn't sure if it was just the baby's colouring but I was quite firm that it wasn't and that the baby was jaundiced and she then asked if I wanted the heel prick test which I did and it turned out my baby was severly jaundiced and she was whisked off to the neo-natal unit that same day.

I know another Chinese couple whose baby was jaundiced but quite a while after birth and again they were told it was their colouring. Both of them are doctors but it was their first child and it wasn't until the child haemorrhaged in the brain and comatosed that the health professionals took it seriously. The child is now permanently brain damaged and they are suing the hospital.

oh dear pam, that sounds awful - both for your friend and your dd. was dd born in england? my ds was jaundiced too - kicked in when he was about 3 days old. apparently, it is more common in asian/african babies. luckily, ds was born in singapore so we did not have the ignorance of the condition - for example, ds had a heel pin-prick test every morning for the first few days at hospital which alerted us to the condition right away. he had to undergo quite a few days of phototheraphy before he could be discharged. when we brought up this topic with a consultant during my 20 week scan/visit recenty, he just dismissed it and my impression was that it certainly is not a regular test on babies born here. but at least this time we know what "colour" we should be looking out for and will definitely scream and shout until we are attended to if need be

oh, and congrats yingers! fingers crossed for you.

I did find the comment by the midwife in my situation racist but didn't want to raise anything because they'd been so good to us (long story).

However i'm going to push for tests this time round if the baby is born jaundiced. these things really make me .

Hi CSA - DD was born in the UK.

Jaundice quite often sets in after the baby is a few days old but you should start to get concerned if jaundice sets in immediately (as in DD's case) or later on (a months or so as in friend's baby)

All said though, the service and care we received from the hospital and midwives was excellent - couldn't fault them at all - I put the midwife's remark down to ignorance.

csa - tah, i hope it sticks this time. No one in Real world knows!

Just trying to refresh the conversation here - anyone use or planning to use one of those confinement ladies (lai mah in cantonese I think)?

They're the Chinese equivalent of maternity nurses and very popular in Malaysia. They stay in your home for the first month after the baby is born, cooking that special confinement diet for the new mother and helping to care for the baby.

nope, i'm afraid confinement ladies and myself don't mix. but then i am very bad at letting somebody else take the lead what i have been wondering about is where i can find a post-natal massage lady (again very popular in malaysia and singapore to get you back in shape ) - any ideas anyone?

pam, are you looking for a confinement lady by the way? cos if you are (depending on when), a friend of mine had one recently and she is now working in chinatown (london) and she was very happy with her.

No, although saying that my MIL hired a maternity nurse for me for two weeks, she was very good but did not do any cooking or anything, just baby stuff!

How are you doing yingers??

hello, sorry not been around much, have been away in new forest for a week and have been sick and tired a lot in the last few days. You forget how awful this feeling of nausea is!

How is everyone else? Has anyone seen shaolin soccer? Tis quite funny.

Hello
am Chinese BBC, husband Irish, DS 2yrs 6mts and DD 3mths.

So good to hear such common experiences being shared. The thread is so long and varied please excuse my long message.

We are a vegetarian family, DH very luck to meet Chinese woman who ticked all his boxes- veggy and read comics.

My cooking is according to my mother rather eccentric, mix of Chinese and anything that happens to be in cupboard/fridge. DS fav food noodles any type, rice, thick, thin, fresh, instant etc. practically first word.

Find Chinese restraunts followed by Italian are by far the most Child friendly.

My cantonese is pretty poor and my mothers English is even worse so commication can be a bit fustrating. I was brought up in the country side so met/knew very few Chinese people, so when I moved to Birmingham after college have tried to make an effort to meet other Chinese people.

Have same problem as some of you regards concern for childrens cultural identity, have asked around and in the last year we have had a Chinese cantonese speaker look after DS 5hrs once or twice a week depending when she is available. She has teenage kids doing GCSE's and at uni so this is ideal for her the "only" experience she has is being a mother herself. I think we have been very lucky. The only other Chinese friend I have with mixed parentage kids said that going back to HK with her 2 kids aged 3 and 5 and placing them in a chinese nursery for two months made all the difference to when they returned to UK and joined the sunday chinese classes. So will be saving up in the next two years to do this if possible!

Have thought about setting up a playgroup at the local Chinese Community Centre for chinese children including mixed parentage since there isn't one, am doing research at moment the CCC is supportive. any ideas or suggestions would be welcome!

Yingers I hope all is going well with you and the sickness has gone.

Pam my DH is a Belfast man and we will be with his parents in East Belfast off the Newtonards Road from the 13th to the 21st April so if you happen to fancy meeting a total stranger and her kids feel free to contact me via "contact another talker" I'll be checking email whist away.

hello rai, welcome! We aren't the most active thread but we are a nice bunch!

Am trying to get my parents to speak more cantonese to my little dd as she is starting to repeat everything I say even if she does not understand but my lovely parents keep resorting to english, so they are not helping!!!!!! Very annoying but have given up moaning as they always say of course of course we will and then don't! Enough moaning, I am sounding like my mum!

good luck with your idea for a playgroup. My local ccc is mandarin based so a bit useless for me. I would prefer her to learn my mother tongue.

Hi everyone ... its been a while!!!! and welcome Rai.

has the sickness gone now yingers and things are going well??

how is everyone else???

Where is everyone going on holiday this year?? We've settled on taking a few days in August (when bump will be about 3 weeks old) in a luxury hotel in Normandy.

Oh, forgot to tell you, its another girl!! was disappointed for about an hour after the scan but now really chuffed & excited. DH is happy regardless.

It is our first wedding aniversary today. Dh has brought me a charm bracelet. The charms are in the shape of animals and he has included 3 - Ox for me, Dog for him and Horse for DD1. He didn't want to have a Rooster just yet as he thought it might be tempting fate. Its so sweet - not completely my taste but it really is lovely and very thoughtful. I in turn, gave him a book for a walking weekend with the boys (away from us)... hmmm was that a good idea!??!?
What did you guys do on your first wedding aniversaries?? is there a chinese tradition of any sort for this day?

What a lovely present, this year I confess to getting nothing for DH but we went for a meal and he arranged for me to have a morning at Clarins for a facial and massage. Never had facial before, not sure if I liked it.

Was trawling around the web yesterday and came across this site with a few Chinese-English books and CD's and some of it seems reasonably priced. www.mantralingua.com.

We don't have any major holiday plans this year, going back and forth to Belfast likely to be it.

hello!

sickness still with me, really hoping it starts to wane soon as am getting a bit fed up and tired. With dd I had about 6 months of it, so really really hoping it does not end up the same!

first anniversary - I can't remember!!!!!! i think we went for a posh meal, isn't it terrible that I dont recall! I have never heard of a chinese tradition for the first anniversary, and I cant remember my aunts/uncle doing anything special.

blossom - I would like another girl although am sure that I will get a boy! You are due quite soon now, aren't you? Summer?

Rai - will look up that website.

Hi, picked up this thread quite late... so haven't quite read everything yet. Just thought I would join in as I'm chinese. DH is english. DD is now 27 months and DS is just 7 weeks. DD looks a mixture of us both I think, and DS looks exactly like DD when she was a baby at the mo

welcome chococake