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Multicultural families

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Original poster

Any chinese mothers out there???

460 replies

blossom2 · 05/01/2005 20:51

I was just wondering

DH is english and DD is a wonderful mix of both of us. people say she looks english/white when out with Dh and chinese when she's out with me!!!

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colette · 02/07/2005 08:34

Thanks for your reply Suzywong. Yes my husband is a bit like that , he won't admit he is lost etc. But is quite open about money. I just found it really interesting but would have felt rude to ask any more.iykwim

Original poster
blossom2 · 02/07/2005 19:40

Many Congratulations Dimsum and welcome to the world Olivia. Glad to know that you're well & baby!!

I cannot wait until my littlelin pops out. I'm getting tired of being so big!

Colette - i think the 'losing face' concept is very much part of our culture regardless of generation, and more so with men. Money & wealth are also big issues in our culture (ie the more the better). Hence one of the reasons i never really fancied 'chinese men' - not the ones i met anyway!!!

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yingers74 · 02/07/2005 23:16

hey everyone!

colette - my dh who is not chinese leaves pretty much all the finance to me! He used to ignore red bills when he was single, luckily he had flat mates! I think it does depend though as although my dad can be a bit like that, my nan definitely controlled the purse strings and my brother is very open about money. I don't think it is particularly a chinese thing, I guess it depends on family dynamics.

take care everyone.

colette · 03/07/2005 08:17

Thanks Blossom2 and Yingers , I found it quite interesting. I worked in a bank for about 15 years and there are huge differences in family dynamics / attitudes /openess about money etc.
When I worked in an asian(pakistani and Indian mostly) area there was a huge difference in attitudes to women. Some of the men would not even speak to a female about their accounts at all and asked to see a man !!
I wondered if his attitude was similar. Must go ds is smearing weetabix

yingers74 · 05/07/2005 18:51

hey guys, had my scan and am having another girl! All is well with the baby and am currently fending off attempts by my mother to convince me to go for a third and hence a boy! Typical chinese mum, she thinks my dh needs a son even though he doesn't want a third child!

hope you guys are all well, anyone off on holiday soon. the good weather seems to have deserted us. Can i also be a bit pathetic and say that I am missing wimbledon tennis!!!!

yingers74 · 05/07/2005 18:51

hey guys, had my scan and am having another girl! All is well with the baby and am currently fending off attempts by my mother to convince me to go for a third and hence a boy! Typical chinese mum, she thinks my dh needs a son even though he doesn't want a third child!

hope you guys are all well, anyone off on holiday soon. the good weather seems to have deserted us. Can i also be a bit pathetic and say that I am missing wimbledon tennis!!!!

soyabean · 07/07/2005 21:11

Congratulations Dimsum. Hope all is going well for you. And Yingers glad all was well on the scan. Does your Mum really feel like that about a grandson or do you think she just feels she ought to say these things? I did feel lucky that my first child was a boy which fended off any such comments from the inlaws...
Speaking of which..my MIL and SIL got their visas and now have tickets and are arriving next week for threee weeks! Exciting but a bit daunting. Lots to do to get room ready for them. It has been a really busy couple of weeks work wise and children's stuff so I am tired already but really hoping it will all go well.

Original poster
blossom2 · 11/07/2005 17:15

HI everyone

just enough time to say that Charlotte was born on Thursday 7 July 2005!, 3.5 weeks early but weighing a healthy 3.2kg!!

Lots of hair and looks alot like DD1 did at birth - strange that.

I'm still shell-shocked but had a very very quick but good labour - no stitches!!!

speak soon

OP posts:
yingers74 · 11/07/2005 23:40

Congrats Blossom!

am so pleased for you, welcome Charlotte!

And glad to hear about the quick labour, fingers crossed that will happen to me too!

soyabean · 12/07/2005 20:14

Congratulations Blossom and family. Its very exciting to hear about these new babies, lovely news.

SweetFudge · 13/07/2005 19:40

Many Congratulations, Blossom. I haven't posted on this thread before but find it v. interesting.

SF

yingers74 · 14/07/2005 22:13

SF - welcome!

suzywong · 14/07/2005 22:25

congratulations blossom2

SweetFudge · 15/07/2005 14:58

Thanks, Yingers.

Hello SW, the photo of your DH and the Wong boys by the beach is lurvely. It has only made me more impatient for my own bundle to arrive now (5 weeks left to go). Well, it will be another Rooster baby to add to this fab group of MN ladies and offspring.

SF

yingers74 · 15/07/2005 16:13

5 weeks - wow, I bet you are so excited! I have 3.5 plus months to go. I think my dd is going to be both excited and upset at the new arrival. She knows she is the centre of our world at the moment and not sure how she will handle sharing the limelight!

SF - how are you dealing with the hot weather? I hate it!!!

And how is everyone else doing?

SweetFudge · 15/07/2005 16:56

3.5 months to go for you. Wonderful news. Has your dd been asking lots of questions about Mummy's growing tummy? All these Rooster babies coming along. Going to be a boisterous lot if the animal signs are to be believed.

Mind you, my DH was born in the Tiger year like me but he is the most laid back bloke I know.

I really hate the heat and am staying out of the sun as much as I can. I am also trying to live down the "God, you're big" comments from DH's young male cousins (who believe that women should come in "Orlaith from this year's Big Brother sizes")

I am also really craving my dad's cooking (they live in Brunei) and the soups he makes. My kingdom for a bowl of well made noodle soup and some steamed fish with ginger and bean curd.

What do you think of the tim sum from Hoo Hing? I live between the Enfield and Edmonton area and go to a big Hoo Hing sometimes. Have you been to Oriental City for its food?

Questions, questions, questions!!!

yingers74 · 15/07/2005 18:24

have never been to oriental city before but i do enjoy the dim sum from hoo hing, but it goes too quickly as they are so morish!

DD has said nothing about my size change but knows there is a baby in there. She tells people but I think she is too little to really understand what this means.

don't watch Big bro so you will have to translate! I watched it in the past but this year just could not be bothered and I find Davina rather annoying!

yingers74 · 15/07/2005 18:25

have never been to oriental city before but i do enjoy the dim sum from hoo hing, but it goes too quickly as they are so morish!

DD has said nothing about my size change but knows there is a baby in there. She tells people but I think she is too little to really understand what this means.

don't watch Big bro so you will have to translate! I watched it in the past but this year just could not be bothered and I find Davina rather annoying!

DimSum · 15/07/2005 19:22

Congratulations Blossom2 on your little baby girl. My little girl was born with a full head of hair as well and we cant work out which side of the family she gets her hair from, as she has hairy arms and back as well. Lucky you having a quick labour and no stitches.

How exciting to know that you are having a girl Yingers. Everyone said I was having a boy ie. pointed belly etc. and we even bought blue clothes.

As for me, still in confinement period. Mum is here with me and having to fight to have some variety in my diet although dutifully do try and eat all the traditional stuff. Was rebellious and had an icelolly yesterday much to her horror.

Enjoy the sunny weekend everyone.

soyabean · 20/07/2005 15:00

Hello everyone
My MIL and SIL arrived safely and are with us for a month. They are coping well and so are the children. We are eating good food as MIL has taken over the kitchen...They brought one tiny suitcas of clothes and one HUGE one full of food. Luckily not stopped by Customs: mushrooms, beans, chillis, herbs, spices, tea and more.
They are pleasantly surprised at how 'quiet and clean' London is, as they were expecting it to be like Shanghai! Hope all you pregnant people are well?

SweetFudge · 20/07/2005 15:49

Hi Soyabean, Hi Everyone,

Glad to hear your MIL and SIL are settling in. Had to laugh at the big suitcase of food. That is exactly what my mum and dad do whenever they come over here. Pack very few essential clothes and then my dad packs in herb soup packets, mushrooms, golden needles(lily bulbs), noodles, sambal and my mum packs in useful household/kitchen gadgets for me. DH is used to having to hire a big car to drive them from Heathrow since our little car wouldn't contain all the stuff they bring.

Are they finding the weather really hot? I am feeling rather envious at the thought of all the good food that is going to be cooked at your place and wish my mum and dad were coming over for the birth so dad can cook me confinement food.

Approx 4 and half weeks left to go. I'm dithering over whether to try perennium massage. Opinion on mumsnet seems to be divided over whether the massage is good for preventing tears.

How are you doing in the heat, Yingers?

csa · 20/07/2005 22:07

congratulations dim sum and blossom! just got back from holidays so still trying to catch up. hope you are both getting some rest and babes are doing fine.

yingers74 · 29/07/2005 17:50

Hello everyone, just got back from derbyshire,m where it was cold and had some amazing downpours of rain!

Sweet - u must be excited although of course nervous too. Sometimes I wake up and forget I am pregnant until I try to get out and realise that there is a bump in the way!

Have also just realised I have a wedding to attend on sat, I need an outfit, any ideas where I can get some decent maternity wedding outfits?

soya - what do your in-laws think about all the bombs etc in London?
Love to all x

SweetFudge · 30/07/2005 01:35

Hi Yingers,

Lovely to hear from you. How is your bump growing? I have reached waddle stage. Mind you, I am not small to begin with. "Willowy" I never was. I've been going through a cleaning frenzy and was trying to scrub the kitchen floor at 11.30 p.m. earlier.

Feel the need to keep cleaning even though everything within reach has been been vaccummed, wiped, dusted, etc. (Hate the term "nesting". Makes me feel like a hen trying to pad down a nest) DH is finding it all very alarming.

Have you thought about trying Cache Cache at Bluewater for maternity wear? I had despaired of finding stuff that looked good and wasn't frumpy at most places. There were a number of rather swanky functions I had to attend over the last few months and the Cache Cache clothes were just the thing. The clothes were just cut very well - I bought got 3 tops and a pair of linen trousers which together with 2 more pairs of formal maternity trousers from Next were all I needed for the functions. A good investment as I'll keep them for next pregnancy. So, Cache Cache and Next may be worth a look.

3 weeks and counting till baby arrives.

SF

suzywong · 30/07/2005 02:26

hello pregnant ladies and new mums, how's it going?

Dh has taken MIL and boys off to dim sum and I have the house to myself -whoo-hooooo!

SF sounds like you are about to drop, usually cleaning frenzies signs the baby is imminent.