Any chinese mothers out there???

[blossom2]

I was just wondering

DH is english and DD is a wonderful mix of both of us. people say she looks english/white when out with Dh and chinese when she's out with me!!!

Hello Everyone,

Just discovered this website today and have been checking out the best buy pages. Been trying to catch up on this thread and the jargon (dd?, ds? etc.).
I am a BBC and also married to one. We just celebrated our first wedding annniversary and are expecting our baby at the end of June.
Nice to see that other people are facing the barrage of Chinese traditions surrounding pregnancy and birth. We're currently trying to ignore phone calls from the MIL telling us to stop decorating our flat.
Look forward to chatting to everyone.

Hello DimSum
congrats on your anniversary and you pg
I am a bit like soyabean, I am an English Whitey and DH is Chinese Malaysian origin but Australian and we now live in Australia. I have two little boys and we live with MIL.

Mn is great and if anyone ever gives you any c&ap come back on here and tell us as this particular clique doesn't seem to generate much resentment [grin}

HELLO SUZY AND DIM SUM AND OTHERS,

THE STOP DECORATING IS ONE i am also aware of, I am thinking of doing some redecorating and my mum is freaking out about it, saying I must not do any and if i insist i need to make sure i don't go near it.

she has also banned me from attending a funeral!

oh yah. don't even think about banging a single nail into that wall dimsum. apparently the superstition is that every nail hit is a "hit" on the soul of the unborn child. heard the one about not doing any sewing in bed as the baby will be born with a cleft lip?

yingers, glad the morning sickness is fading now tho. and no, not cheeky at all. i'm sure your mum (if she is anything like mine) would actually be offended if you ask her not to come. amazing how many superstitions the chinese have, isn't it? apparently, newly weds do not like pregnant ladies at their weddings either as it takes away their luck or something like that...

oh, and a report to all. i lasted 3 weeks with my confinement! am wondering if i am paying for it now. my knuckles are still sore in an arthritic sort of way and 5 weeks on, still not able to get my wedding ring back on ... what should i do?

I thought that between my mum and the MIL I've probably heard every superstition available regarding pregnancy (and probably every other life event as well) but the sewing in bed one is new.
I think you did really well CSA with 3 weeks in confinement. I am already bracing myself for the tubs of rice wine that the MIL is brewing and the black vinegar that the mother is preparing.

My MIL lives in China and we are in the UK so she wasnt able to offer advice and ensure it was carried through when I was pg (if she did, dh must have filtered it!) She did send lots of walnuts when I was pg with my eldest tho, to make him clever (and he is...).

She suggested shaving their hair when they were 1 month but I couldnt do it and they all have plenty of nice thick hair now! (ds1's dark brown, dd's is light brown/fair, and ds 2's is in between). Dh is less interested in traditional Chinese stuff than me, totally sceptical about Chinese medicine etc.

In general we may be a bit strange to them compared to the rest of the family in China but one major bonus as far as MIL is concerned is that we are lucky enough to have three children, where their 3 cousins are all only children due to the one child policy.

We are still waiting to hear whether mil and sil have got their visas to come and visit us this summer. It will be first time out of China for both of them, so they will need a lot of looking after but I am hoping it will be wonderful for all of us. They have never met our youngest, and I am looking forward to them getting to know the kid and finding out about our life here, which is so different from theirs that I think they will not have been able to really imagine it from a distance.

soyabean, hopefully they will get their visa to visit. is it a difficult thing to obtain?

Hi CSA
Well it shouldn't be but we have had to provide a huge amount of documentation (letters from our employers, coies of our passports, bank statements, the deeds to our house (!!!!)Immigration to this vcountry is certainly not easy: and this is only for a holiday.
They seem confident that they will get them.

wow. thar's amazing. it will all be worth it when they get here. any sightseeing plans?

soyabean - what a palava? It is much easier to go the other way! Hope they get the visas and that the london eye is still standing when they arrive!!!

We're in London so plenty of sights to see. But I think (hope) they'll be quite happy pottering about too, just finding out how very different our life here is to theirs there!Dh and I both work part time so should be able to keep them occupied.

Hi everyone

I'm really sorry i haven't posted in a while, but have been reading.

Went back to the UK for a weeks holiday (or rather a week of dashing around to see everyone). It was nice although the weather could have been better. DH got sohomesick that we might be coming back to the UK soon. Don't have all the details and all a bit too stresful for me to post anything yet.

I'm glad to hear everyone is well though and WELCOME to the new mumsnetters. Sorry i can't remember your names.

xxx

Hi All,

not posted for a while, just really tired. had in-laws over for two weeks which has good moments and some tiring moments.

Pam I hope you and your mother are having a good time, I assume your mother will be nearing the end of her stay by now. How's the work thing going?

Yingers Good to hear your morning sickness is going hopefull gone by now?

Csa is your diet back to normal now?

Soyabean good luck with visa's for family, both my mother and father family are from China, the only members of the family to visit the UK emigrted to Singapore first. There are lots of cousins in Australia who I met many years ago, but have not had the cash or time to visit. Hope to one day.

Dimsum congratulations

Blossom hope things are working out.

Here's a question for you all which depends on the Chinese tendency to be frank, what did your parents or in-laws say about you or your partner when you were first introduced to them?

The first visit to my mothers house we were sat around the table for tea, DH was showing off his great chopstick technique when everyone, myself included all burst out laughing much to the bemusement of DH. My mother wanted to know why I was going out with a man with spots on his chin and kneck, - he's used to affect lots of stubble which irritated his skin ( and mine!.)

Talking of frankness here's an example from a friend who hadn't seen her mother for a couple of years went for a visit to HK and the first thing her mother said to her was "your face looks like a biscuit tin" - charming

Funny how you don't take offense.

hello everyone! Hope those in london are enjoying the good weather today.

In regards to what my parents said when they met dh, not much to be honest as I was sooo good at keeping boyfriends secret that my parents were just really really pleased to learn that I did not have lesbian tendencies!!!Parents are weird, they spent years saying NO BOYFRIENDS and when i didn't bring any home they thought the worst.

Blossom - anymore news? are u coming back to uk?

My in laws said, tho' not on first meeting, that I was nice but my feet were too big and they dont understand me not wearing socks (in summer). I am size 8 so they are pretty big and certainly several sizes bigger than any of theirs. Dh's oldest 2 aunties have bound fee, incredibly.

When dh's grandfather heard about me (sadly he died before we met), he said 'well I met a foreigner in 1950' (i.e. that's not so strange for a man of the world). Actually all dh's family were completely brilliant and welcoming even though basically they knew that they would be 'losing' their eldest son to 'abroad'. That's why I really want to be able to treat mil and sil when they come as its the first time we've felt able to afford to pay for them to come, combined with them being able to come. Still no news on the visa front though.
Yingers it is a nice day isn't but unfortunately I am at work.

My parents always knew that i was going to marry/be with a foreigner. I was a nightmare teenager and never did anything by the 'rules'!!!
So it wasn't a surprise when they met DH and was very relieved that i'd finally stopped living a life of sin when we got married. They like him and family are very welcoming. It was daughting for DH meeting my family for the first time since there was over 30 of them at a family BBQ!!

YES, i will be coming back to the UK. It'll probably be in October (so it'll be a french baby). Basically DH is desparately unhappy in his job and just can't bear to be there anymore. His old boss in the UK has offered him a job back in London but we just need final approval from the US. We should know for definite by the end of the month, however we'll be coming back regardless. We'll probably be extremely poor by then but perhaps happier.

Its a shame because i'm quite happy here and DD is loving nursery. But its better to have a happy DH then a miserable one ...

Yingers - are you in your 4th month now?? how are you feeling??

And how is everyone else??

hi all

rai yes, diet back to normal now but desperately need to get toned up. difficult to look fit in summer clothes with all this post-pregnancy wobbly tummy fat

soyabean, fingers crossed about the visa. wonder what they will make of the food in chinatown. guess it will be quite different although i guess it depends on which part of china they are from.

blossom, when are you due? sorry, can't remember. presumably, london is where you will be moving back to? yes, a happy dh is better than a miserable one. i was in the same situation a few years ago. was happy but dh was not so we moved back to the uk. not sure if it was the most sensible of decisions but so much easier to live with a happy dh than a miserable one. good luck with the move.

I am now about 19 weeks so have a while yet before anything will be popping out. Blossom, how many more weeks for you? I think u were august? apologies if I am completely wrong!

Soyabean - wow I always thought bound feet died out the generation before my grandma but I guess it depends on which part of china you are in.

So how many of us are based in london?

Hi all
CSA Dh's family are from the SW of China so the food is spicy (and delicious) a bit like Sichuan. UK Chinese restaurant food will be pretty alien to them, tho I think they'll be interested to see what we can get in the Chinese supermarkets. In fact Dh really only learned to cook when he cam here as he wanted to eat familiar food that just wasnt available in restaurants. He is a great cook now (lucky me), and had obviously learned a lot by being around his Mum when younger.

Yingers it is incredible about the feet isnt it? They live in an area that is pretty remote so I guess the old customs took longer to die out. His older aunts must be about 80. His Mum is in her mid 60s so she escaped that. But small feet are definitely still seen as an attractive feature. Size 8s are not!

You forget how different food from different regions can be. Being cantonese my family are lucky in that sense as everything in chinese restaurants is very familiar.

Hi everyone ... i'm due the first week in august although the doctors think she'll arrive in July (as long as its after 1 july, they are happy). Had my 32 week scan (normal here in france) and baby's head is really low but not yet engaged (thank goodness). Things are going well considering. Off to have Dim Sum this sunday because i'm missing it so much!!

hope you are all well ....

Hasnt the recent weather over here in London been lovely. I live in London Yingers, North London to be precise. Saw a world record being made in Trafalgar Square on Wednesday; the biggest outdoor tea dance. All very civilised watching people ballroom dancing away.
Think maybe the nesting instinct is really starting to take hold as cried for two hours yesterday over the husband not wanting to put shelves and cupboards up and me insisting that we need more storage. After exhausting myself crying in the bathroom came out to discover the husband snoring away which made me even more tearful.Am I the next one due then? I'm end of June.

wow, didn't realise we had so many babies due on this thread. when in june dimsum? is this your second?

dim sum - yep looks like u r next up!

I am in west london although originally a native north london girl! Family still there, getting used to west london now though.

blossom - have u been to disney land paris? AM thinking of taking dd there in july.