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Not in the nativity play

226 replies

PrettyHannukahndles · 15/12/2004 16:58

As ds is being brought up Jewish, I chose not to have him perform in his nursery's nativity play next week, but to let him perform in the rest of the nursery's concert. I've learned today that he is now the only child who will not be in the nativity, as all the other non-performing children will not be at nursery that day.

Suddenly he feels left out. I had a talk with the nursery staff, who told me that he needn't come in uniform that day, as all the others would be wearing their costumes. I suggested that he might like to wear a costume as well, so that he will feel more involved. But what sort of costume could he wear? He wants to wear a red-and-white Santa hat with flashing stars (at least, that's what I think he meant by his rather garbled and excited description ). I'm not sure whether that's appropriate - could anyone suggest something?

OP posts:
aloha · 16/12/2004 23:16

And yes, I definitely believe that we (the human race) have invented a long succession of gods and superstitions to fulfil certain needs in ourselves. I thought the idea of a 'god' gene was interesting, if a bit shaky.

aloha · 16/12/2004 23:18

Ooh, what a tempting site! The Reptillian Agenda looks a rip-roaring read!

aloha · 16/12/2004 23:19

And, SD, I did hesitate a moment before clicking in fear of that bleedin' bat.

spacedonkey · 16/12/2004 23:22

that bastard icke just crashed my computer!

wordsmith · 16/12/2004 23:22

OMG I see he's even got a theory about 9/11.

Sorry PHC, this is totally hijacking your thread. Or have you gone to bed and given up?

spacedonkey · 16/12/2004 23:23

I entirely agree with you there aloha (about inventing stuff to fulfil human needs. And the rip roaring read)

aloha · 16/12/2004 23:29

I'm off to bed at last. Hope I haven't mortally offended too many people...except possibly followers of David Icke.
And I think the tinsel waistcoat and flashing Santa hat sound splendid, PHC. I hope he has a lovely time at nursery.

spacedonkey · 16/12/2004 23:31

Night aloha.

I hope I haven't offended anyone either

Cinderellascarrieg · 16/12/2004 23:35

& I'm off too...also apologies to anyone whom I might have offended!

PHC - I think whoever suggested something to symbolise 'light' was spot on? So light up Santa sounds ideal! Sorry to have hijacked your thread so comprehensively...

Tinker · 16/12/2004 23:36

Is everyone apologising because of teh new incitement to religious hatred legislation ?

spacedonkey · 16/12/2004 23:37

SNURK!

Cinderellascarrieg · 16/12/2004 23:52

Of course!

PocketTinsel · 17/12/2004 00:16

I may be being dense, but i don't quite get why he couldn't just participate. For learning purposes. Kind of a "we follow this but some people beleive this..." I was brought up a catholic but want my son to learn about all religions. i wouldn't have a problem with him taking part in a ceremony celebrating Divali or going to a friends barmitzvah. Not being self righteous here but i don't understand why it's such a bad thing for him to take part. It's not like a decision to convert. Sorry, i don't want to offend, i just genuinly don't get it.

TheHollyAndTheTwiglett · 17/12/2004 09:15

I think its cos he's so young ... its easier to separate things you do to experience 'other' faiths when the children are already grounded in the faith you want them to have ...

BTW my DS made a glorious angel yesterday in his first nativity .. DH was brimming with pride and I cried .. I reckoned the angels were definitely Jewish so no problems there

jabberwocky · 17/12/2004 09:25

Haven't had a chance to read the whole thread but the Santa idea seems splendid to me. Also, since he was feeling a bit left out it might be a good thing to support the idea that he is excited about.

juniperdropofbrandy · 17/12/2004 09:39

Glad you've found something for your ds to wear PHC

One thing this thread has shown me is we're all very different, even those of us from the same faith. Viva la difference! IMO.

I'm a Christian and don't push Christianity down my sons throats which shocks some of my Christian friends. I wouldn't 'force' them to believe anything, they'll make up their own minds when they're older. That said they do like coming to Church with me and enjoy SS so that's ok too. I've started telling older son about other faiths and they learn about them from school and their friends.

juniperdropofbrandy · 17/12/2004 09:41

Or is it vive la difference? Never was any good with languages

PrettyHannukahndles · 17/12/2004 14:14

Hello everybody - my, you have been busy since I left!

If I'm not too far behind the times, can I just answer a few peoples comments/questions (sorry, I can't remember who asked/said what).

'Have your cake and eat it' - it's a matter of belief, not of practice. Some beliefs are incompatible: Judaism believes that the Messiah is yet to come, that good deeds hasten it's arrival and that your reward will be in this world, rather than in the world to come; Christianity believes that the Messiah has already come, and that your reward will be in the world to come. So how can JsforJ believe both? Or are they like the White Queen - believing 6 impossible things before breakfast? Whoops, I ought to take a leaf out of your book, Aloha, and not air certain opinions in public.

And the other point, about not letting my children attend or participate in nativities because of being Jewish. This will actually be my first ever nativity because I went to a Jewish primary school. Under other circumstances I would have no hesitation in keeping ds out of the nativity, but as he is of mixed background the situation is not so simple. Dh has agreed to bring ds up Jewish. Does that mean that dh should deny all his heritage? I have wept with pride at Passover the last two years when ds has stood up and sung the Ma Nishtana - should I deny dh his equivalent?

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juniperdropofbrandy · 17/12/2004 14:52

Hi PHC. Sounds like you're doing a grand job with ds so don't worry about it hun xx We all have our different opinions. My dh is aethiest but luckily doesn't mind what DSs end up believing.

I'm on a course with our Church at the moment and as part of it I was looking into Jewish festivals and must say I was quite envious you have so many! I bet your ds will have a ball at the nativity play and will look cute in his get up.

juniperdropofbrandy · 17/12/2004 14:53

sorry keep getting your initials wrong

PrettyHannukahndles

PrettyHannukahndles · 17/12/2004 15:01

Thanks, J . Don't worry about the initials, I'm struggling to spell my 'Christmas' name myself when I log on!

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Blu · 17/12/2004 18:46

PHK - I do so hope that your little lad throughly enjoys his outfit - sounds like the perfect solution!

You have explained your position within the complexity of all this really well. The annual performance (exc those in churches) by infants mispronouncing Jesus and 'Cheeses' and wearing 'souvenir-from-the-isle-of-wight' tea towels has now, IMHO achieved far more of a cultural resonance and tradition than a heartfelt religious one - in thatb the majority of kids taking aprt are not from practicing Christian families.

Those of us who are not practicing christians nevertheless are all oblilged to follow v many customs and laws based on Christianity, and to have Christianity built into our government (Bishops in the lords, etc), the civil marriage laws are based on Christian doctrine - otherwise there would be no reason at all to ban homosexual marriage, would there?

KangaSantaMummy · 17/12/2004 20:45

watch friends channel 4 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Ross amadillo episode PrettyHannukahndles

PrettyHannukahndles · 19/12/2004 13:02

Oh poo! I didn't know and missed it!

OP posts:
lisalisa · 20/12/2004 11:29

Message withdrawn