Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Multicultural families

Here's where to share your experience of raising a child or growing up in a multicultural family.

Original poster

Not in the nativity play

226 replies

PrettyHannukahndles · 15/12/2004 16:58

As ds is being brought up Jewish, I chose not to have him perform in his nursery's nativity play next week, but to let him perform in the rest of the nursery's concert. I've learned today that he is now the only child who will not be in the nativity, as all the other non-performing children will not be at nursery that day.

Suddenly he feels left out. I had a talk with the nursery staff, who told me that he needn't come in uniform that day, as all the others would be wearing their costumes. I suggested that he might like to wear a costume as well, so that he will feel more involved. But what sort of costume could he wear? He wants to wear a red-and-white Santa hat with flashing stars (at least, that's what I think he meant by his rather garbled and excited description ). I'm not sure whether that's appropriate - could anyone suggest something?

OP posts:
Miriam2 · 15/12/2004 18:04

I have to organise a nativity every year and I leave it up to the parents to say if they don't want their child to appear. This has never happened!!! With the children we alternate between calling it a show and a nativity as I don't think the word 'nativity' means much to 3 and 4 year olds of any religion. We have angels, a star, animals etc in addition to the traditional roles. IMO what the parents want is to see their child on stage and hear a few Christmassy songs and ooh and aaah. Oh and it's a bit of a showcase for the playgroup....

janeyjinglebops · 15/12/2004 18:09

Got me worried there, as I had never considered a nativity play an act of worship. We are definitey NOT religiuos and wouldn't want dd or ds indoctrinated into a religion. However, I am very interested in all religions and am happy for them to learn about them

Made me think though as dd was in her school nativity last week. She has been singing about baby jesus ever since - much to my discomfort.

spacedonkey · 15/12/2004 18:11

I think the nativity blatantly is an act of Christian worship myself, and, if I was Jewish, and, as such, believed that Jesus was a heretic, I probably wouldn't want my children to participate either.

Original poster
PrettyHannukahndles · 15/12/2004 18:15

I have a fully Jewish up-bringing and know what is part of my religion and what is not. It is too much to expect of a 4yo to make that differentiation. At the same time, we live in a Christian country, a multicultural country, and ds's father is not Jewish, and we feel it is important for ds to participate in the culture of his country.

And Jews most definitely do not accept Jesus as a prophet or anything else other than a man who had a different opinion and caused us a lot of trouble as a result!

OP posts:
TheHollyAndTheTwiglett · 15/12/2004 18:15

Did you know there's an organisation called jews for jesus

how mixed up is that?

Blu · 15/12/2004 18:16

I can't see that dressing up and performing a 9far-fetched) reconstruction of events is an act of worship. An act of acknowledgement or celebration, certainly - and as such I can see why some people would not want children to take part.

Original poster
PrettyHannukahndles · 15/12/2004 18:16

This thread has become rather serious and was never intended to be so. We all have different opinions and beliefs, so please don't anyone get offended by anyone else's strenght of feeling.

OP posts:
Blu · 15/12/2004 18:17

PrettyHC - sorry - didn't mean to be presumptious - I was confused.

Original poster
PrettyHannukahndles · 15/12/2004 18:17

Twig, I don't think I should say my opinion of them in mixed company.

OP posts:
spacedonkey · 15/12/2004 18:18

But why on earth would a jewish person want to celebrate the birth of jesus?

bundleofyulelogs · 15/12/2004 18:18

gosh twig, i met one of those at a wedding once, v odd

Original poster
PrettyHannukahndles · 15/12/2004 18:19

Blu - cross-posted. I wasn't aiming at you at all, I'm just a bit concerned that things might get a little hot here.

OP posts:
spacedonkey · 15/12/2004 18:19

oops sorry posts crossed

Blu · 15/12/2004 18:20

So what do you think you might do, PrettyHC? Now that we have been no help at all!

AMerryScot · 15/12/2004 18:20

I don't really think that a 4yo is going to become indoctrinated at a nursery Nativity, tbh.

I'm pretty sure that, at most, he would take away the birth of a baby in a stable, with shepherds, angels and wisemen - a rather abstract picture that a 4yo is not going to understand from a single exposure to the story. I don't think the parts about Eve's trangression, Isaiah's prophecy, Elizabeth's pregnancy or the sacrifice on the cross will be absorbed at all.

Original poster
PrettyHannukahndles · 15/12/2004 18:23

Haven't a clue!

OP posts:
TheHollyAndTheTwiglett · 15/12/2004 18:23

Who's elizabeth?

spacedonkey · 15/12/2004 18:23

think amerryscot is somewhat missing the point here but never mind!

AMerryScot · 15/12/2004 18:24

Jews for Jesus is a Christian organisation, made up of people who are Jewish by birth and tradition. Lots of people from all walks of life become Christians - Jews are susceptible to evangelism too.

Jews for Jesus do keep their Jewish traditions though - keeping Kosher, celebrating the Sabbath, etc. The thing that pisses of mainstream Jews is that they do their evangelising among the Jewish community.

Original poster
PrettyHannukahndles · 15/12/2004 18:25

AMerryScot, ds will see the play, but he won't participate in it. There is a difference.

OP posts:
TinselTamum · 15/12/2004 18:25

Ha, I thought you were psychic there for a moment PrettyHannukahndles! I now realise you were answering Blu and not Twiglett before she'd even asked the question

AMerryScot · 15/12/2004 18:25

What point am I missing, SD?

Elizabeth is Mary's cousin, who was also visited by Gabriel...

janeyjinglebops · 15/12/2004 18:26

It just seems a bit strange as it is not a church school, and they also had special assemblies for Eid and Diwali. However, she did not start singing or talking about elements of those festivals like she is with the baby jesus thing.

aloha · 15/12/2004 18:27

Saw a lot of small children dressed up for various plays today - terribly cute, esp the white Mary holding hands with a small black Joseph and clutching her black baby jesus doll - and a LOT of four year olds dressed up (very effectively!) as snowballs - and as an atheist did wonder how comfortable I'd feel having ds take part in a nativity play. He opened Dec 24th on his advent calendar today (given up policing it!) and said, "Oh look, a man and a lady in a house", and I was going to do the whole 'it's baby Jesus' stuff, and then thought, oh, no, let's not introduced ANOTHER myth to the mix - having enough moral qualms about Santa!

bundleofyulelogs · 15/12/2004 18:27

gabriel had the best job ( i was gabriel 2 yrs running in the nativity, not sure why a girl was picked..)