New thread for all Chinese mothers

[wyls]

I think this might work?!

Sorry just want to say that I dont mean chinese men are ugly or anything like that, i just meant that i am not attracted to them at all.

God, hope i didnt upset anyone, i think i need some sleep, only had 4 hours last night.

Twiglette .. please would you be so kind as to choose an alternative user name as this will get incredibly confusing if you don't

Thanks

on the subjet of taboos, what do your mums/mils think about frozen/overnight food? mine would be in horrors if she knew i was batch freezing. she thinks her dutiful daughter cooks fresh every day for baby (and previously ds1) and for a quiet life, i have not corrected her impression

twiglette, what can i say? you are a brave woman. both mum and mil for a month? at the same time? and you LIVE to tell the tale? hats off to you. oh, and welcome

Hi all, just skimmed through all messages, sounds like a fun chat place to de stress. I don't have a multicultural family but it says 'for all chinese mothers'?

Just wanted to contribute to the pregnancy taboo foods that you're not supposed to eat!

My MIL always said never to eat bananas, watermelons, and anything cold basically. But being me (rebellious DIL!) I did and ate what I thought was medically safe for me and LO. My annoying SIL did everything her mum says and her LO came three weeks early and weighed about 6lbs, whereas my LO came one day early and weighed in at 8 lbs 2 1/2! So I always say listen to advice given but don't think that it is bible! And since the LO was born I have always had trust in myself to be a good mother, despite what my MIL or even my own parents say. And yes, I think all chinese mothers are obsessed with keeping baby warmer than they really should be.

oH well I will be going back to work in three weeks and it is annoying that I cannot go back part time, nearly half my wages are going towards the nursery! I could leave my LO with MIL but MIL will not listen to a word I say about what LO likes and besides likes to stick him in front of the telly whenever we are over there. Sorry am just being moany as usual.

Welcome Peony - feel free to moan away - we all do!

csa - re: batch freezing - I know someone who froze congee!! Much to the dismay of her MIL..

I froze my stuff but my mum was fine - that's because she was about to start making congee everyday and I said, let me do this first and then she saw how convenient it was - we could pop a couple of ice cubes into a container and go over to a friend's house and still feed DD - she was quite won over by that! I did make congee for DD when she got older but just bunged everything into the slow cooker and it usually did for both lunch and dinner (this was while I was on maternity leave, mind you)

Peony - I too was turned down for part-time work and DD is in nursery full time now. Would you be happy for nursery to do a few days and maybe your MIL to do a few days? That would reduce the costs a little and your LO wouldn't be sat in front of the TV all week?

Welcome Peony.

Pam and Peony, are both of your LO in nursery full time? What time do they start and finish?

I am asking cos I am planning to put my DS in nursery when I go back to work. He will go 3 days a week from 7am-6pm. I just feel that this is an awful long time for him to be in nursery.

Peony, my DS will be 9 months when I go back to work, how old will your LO be when you go back to work?

twiglet - yep subject to them all from my mum and nan! I am not allowed to take newborn dd2 to any one's birthday until she is a month old, had to bathe in ginger water, not allowed to cut my own hair until baby is a month old, drinking allsorts of herbal soups etc etc

regarding chinese men, I think there are a lot of good looking chinese men out there although the only ones I fancied were all HK film/tv stars and there are some who are not materalistic or money orientated such as my brother! I never dated any myself as did not know many at all and ones I knew I had grown up with so it would have been like dating my cousin or something!

hope all of you are well and having a good weekend!

and welcome all newbies!

Congratulations Yingers.. blimey that 9 months went quick!!!

Hope all's well, will have to try and meet in Gunnersbury again sometime, so you can show off your beatiful dd2!!

Unicorn, would love to! feel free to sneak in anytime!

welcome peony and sheba.
i have one more week and it's back to work for me
ds2 starts nursery this wednesday and i am keeping my fingers crossed that he settles in quickly.

wyls, 7-6 is probably much the norm for working parents. impossible to do the nursery run and still work full time otherwise. i think as long as ds gets some sleep when he is there, he will be fine. and, as it is only 3 days, he can spend the other 2 chilling

csa, how long have you been off work?

yingers, how are you getting on? Hope everything is ok with the new baby.

7 months. sigh.

Pam, I'm the other way round: White British married to mainland Chinese man. We have several (can think of 6) pairs of friends who are the same, which we tend to put down to the fact that more women studied languages including Chinese, then we all went to China to work/study, in our twenties, and all met lovely men there!

Twiglette my Scottish Mum and Dh's Chinese Mum met for the first time this year, even tho we have been married since 1987! It was only for 2 days and they have no language in common so they didnt get past the polite chit chat stage. But from what they said to us, separately, I'm quite glad it just stayed superficial and friendly. The gulf between them is just so huge, in practically everying. (except for love of the grandchildren, but even that is expressed very differently)

I havent been on here for ages, SO busy, that I only ever get a quick snatch of Mumsnet and no time to get involved in any 'conversations'. I'm at work now...We are having building work at home, plus just always busy with three children, it's non-stop.

Congratulations to all new Mums and babies!

Snowmum, how are you getting on with weaning?

My DS is on his 5th week of weaning, I have started giving him 1/2 baby yogurt for lunch.

He is going to be six months in about 3 weeks time, should I start giving him a proper lunch now or should I wait until he's 6 months?

Also, I feel like I am constantly feeding him at the mo.

His routine goes something like this -

7 - milk (6oz)
9 - breakfast (3 cubes of fruit)
11 - milk (4oz)
1.30 - 1/2 baby yogurt
3 - milk (6oz)
5 - Dinner (3 cubes veg)
630 - 7 - milk (5oz)
10 - dreamfeed (5oz)

Am I feeding him too much? Any suggestions? Thank you.

Sorry haven't had time to come on for a while.

myls - my DD is in the nursery from about just before 9am until 5pm (DH drops and picks her up as nursery is within grounds of his workplace. The nursery shuts at 4.30pm on a Friday so she gets out a bit earlier.

We find juggling 2 fulltime careers with one school age child and one in nursery very challenging (even though I leave the office at 5pm sharp!)

I now try and cook our dinner the night before and put it in the fridge so DH can heat it up when he gets in with DD so it will be part ready for when I get in after picking DS up.

Ideally I'd like to work part-time but I was turned down when I requested it because my work place is undergoing a lot of changes so I'm sitting tight and hoping to put another application in in a couple of years when DD starts pre-school.

Sheba - you sound about as isolated as ourselves. DS told me this week that he's English. I had to tell him he's part Chinese, part Irish. I think he thinks he's English because he speaks English

csa - good luck with return to work - the 1st week is the worst and then it just feels like you never left after that.

Otherwise we do really simple pasta.

Pam, my 6yo ds also says he's English, and not Chinese. I'm sure he sees it as a language thing. Our older two speak very little Chinese but proudly describe themselves as English/British and Chinese. So Hopefully he will get to that point too.
Ds2 has a friend who is adopted from China, with white parents and he says she is English: 'she was just born in China'. She wont beleieve that our ds was NOT born in China...

Sorry not posted for while, been v busy. Spent a few days down at the in-laws. Wasn't too bad, had to endure my MIL telling me how things were done "in her day" etc etc. Still survived the trip! Also having probs with my work, they were planning to hire someone new to replace me. HR kinda forgot I was on maternity leave...anyway we've had a couple of meetings and I think things are ok now. Also DD been quite difficult, won't settle down for naps/sleep easily, been v clingy and her routine has disappeared so everyday is different! Am hoping she will settle once she is on solids, first mouthful of baby rice is due this Sat. Sorry to be so moaney!

Wyls, your DS's feeding schedule looks fine to me. I think you are supposed to wait until 6 months before intoducing meat, fish etc so perhaps hold off for 3 more weeks? But then again, if he's still hungry for more, I guess there's no harm in trying a proper lunch now if he's willing to take it. How about some congee with fish?

Gosh, lots of cross-cultural discussions been taking place! As both DH and I are both chinese, don't really have same issues as those mentioned. However where I live isn't v multicultural and I do get tired of being the only non-whitey in the room (esp during antenatal/postnatal classes). Do worry about DD being able to identify with both cultures, have found already she is much more comfortable with our chinese friends than non-chinese. Not sure if this is a good thing or not.

Snowmum / Soyabean - identfy with all the issues you've both raised.

Snowmum - my DS thought he was Chinese last year because I'm Chinese, but this year he's not Chinese because none of his frends are. I'm preparing myself as I think as my kids grow, they will want to belong and want to be part of the dominant culture they live in but I hope that doesn't mean they'll reject their Chinese heritage. I'm also quite often the only non- white person where I live / work / socialise etc and that's why I come on here for some chat with people with similar cultural reference points as myself.

Soyabean - a friend of mine in Australia has just written a fantastic article for a magazine called Adoption Australia. It's like a journey into how she found herself. She's Chinese, grew up in Australia in the 70s & 80s, she's not adopted but has been working with families who've adopted children from China, hence the reason for the article. If you like, i can email it to you or I suppose I could post it here too if no one minds?

Where is everyone??

Starting DD on baby rice yesterday and she loves it! Don't know why, but I was getting quite worried she wouldn't take to solids (probably from watching tv progs such as Supernanny, Little Angels etc etc where so many kids have food related issues).

Am now trying to work out how to feed her solids when out and about. Wasn't life simpler when there were just bottles to cart around...

Pam, I would be interested in seeing the article. Could you post pls?

Me too, thanks

hello all,

sorry for absence, been busy and tired! had dd2's end of first month meal today/celebration with family which was nice. Also mum made alot of red eggs! anyone else did this?

would also be interested in article. so far dd1 has not made any comments on what she is, but am sure it is`an issue that i will have to address at some point.

snowmum - glad weaning is going well