I'm dying to grass up the benefit cheats living next to me but..

[ssd]

..dh won't let me as they have 3 kids and he feels its unfair on the kids

they are the laziest young couple I've ever met, she told me she can't afford to work as she is getting so much paid for her by claiming to be a single mum, but her partner (kids dad) work on the side so they have that money coming in too

they seem to spend all their money on takeaway deliveries, about 3 a week, but sod all on their kids who come chapping my door every day trying to get in to play with our toys, and probably for a feed as they get their takeaways about half nine at night

we both work here, I'm part time on minimum wage and she actually told me what she "clears" a month and with income support, job seekers and rent paid she's better off than us bith working

I'm heartily sick of seeing them swanning about, she always seems to have new clothes and their car is much better than ours, her mu mtakes the kids at weekends so they can go out and party, she told me they can afford to go out every Sat and they lie in bed all Sunday till the kids are delivered back to them

I'm so bitter, I'm sick of the injustice

should I go ahead and tell social services and let dh go mad or just let them live their dishonest life and shut up? I really don't know what to do

I've had a car for 20yrs...I don't intend on parting with it just because I can't afford to fill it with fuel. It has had the same 1/4 of a tank in it for the last 3-4months! I have no family to speak of and with both my kids in separate schools and with one having been quite ill and requiring hospital care I have no choice but to keep it. You can put money on it that the day I decide to part with my car, and my independence, is the day I get a phone call to say either one of the kids has ended up with A&E with having fallen from the zip wire or slide at school! Fortunately I can walk to the shops from where I live and to school. I do our grocery shopping when DH gets home or at weekends or I give him a list before he leaves for work and he gets it for me on his way home....although it always costs us more when he goes so its a cheaper option for me to do it instead.

KatieDD - I had my work focussed interview at the Job Centre just 2 weeks ago, they did the calculations for me then - the figures are correct - I had a nose on entitledto when I got home the same day

oh it would be sods law wouldn't it - getting a call like that the day after you get rid of the car . Bit like the day my best friend said to me "if you ever need me to pick up DS1 from school, or DS2 from nursery just give me a ring - always willing to help" - and handed me her number

The following day I took DS3 to the doctors and was told to take him up to the hospital (next town) - thankfully at that point exH and I were still together so getting him there wasn't a problem - but getting DS2 from nursery was.

I hurriedly rang my best friend - and she didn't answer her phone - so we ended up dragging him out half way through story time and taking him with us LOL. It's happened a few times since then that I've rung her in a panic hoping she can help me with picking-up/dropping off - and she never has her phone on her/answers her phone phone - it's a bit of a joke between us now - if I ring for a natter she answers in a flash, if I need her she's not there

exH was also hopeless at the shopping - he seemed to manage to spend 2x the amount I spent for the same items lol

If you have a mortgage, you will own your house.

People who get all their rent paid live in very low rent houses.

Would you swap? Would you hand over the deeds of your house, your pride in your work and your dignity in your self assurance to live rent free in a council house with no job, no real home, no life and no hope?

I'll swap your job, and your mortgage, and your working, partner-having, houseowning status, and you can come and be a single mum with no job on a shitty estate. And not have to pay any rent.

FAQ..yes it all sounds so typical doesn't it?! We've worked out to keep my car legal and parked outside the front of our house costs us around £30 per month. If our mortgage goes up so much in the New Year that means we are short by £30 the car will have to go. Having a car these days does appear to be a luxury but I see it as my independence. Without it means I have to fully rely on DH or the local bus service (which is pretty dire) or my mates and I don't like to ask them too much cos they have their own kids.

I gave DH a list of shopping not so long ago..he went out one evening and took DD1 with him to help (she knows the aisles better than him)...he rang me 3 times during the course of the two hours it took him to do the shopping. There's me thinking I can have a quiet moment on my own with DD2 already in bed and asleep - no such luck. And, yes, he bought bits I hadn't written on the list and didn't get bits that I had put on there so its much easier for me to do it on my own.

'If you have a mortgage, you will own your house'...not necessarily when you are threatened with repossession if you fail to pay it.

Well if you get repossessed (which I hope you don't, nobody deserves that) you can move into a low rent property.

I havent read all the details on here as its so long but I would say shop them in. I would be finanially better off if DH doesn't live here, but that doesn't mean I should lie and say he doesn't. We just hav to get through it.

Anyway, I digress. Shop them. They're stealing.

Having paid a mortgage for the last 15yrs I hope I won't get repossessed but it is, unfortunately, happening a lot these days. We have three houses in my road that have repossession notices on their windows. It is so easy to lose your home that you have paid so much to keep and you can lose the lot in an instant. If we were to lose our home by being repossessed we could never get a mortgage again. Yes this is my home and I will make whatever cut-backs I need to make to keep it.

whispywhisp...no i wouldn't report them either, just like i wouldn't report my friends that fiddle thier expenses or who arn't 100% truthful when completing their tax returns. they might all be screwing the system..but no ones gonna find out what they're doing from me.

ssd...what? i haven't got a clue what you're talking about..what attitude have i got?

Ditto to whispy's post of 15:39.

A lot of mortgage payers are in desperate straits right now, struggling to pay each month and at risk of repossession. (I am reluctant to use the word 'home owner' as I know no one under the age of about 70 who owns their home - the mortgage company does).

We are renting at the moment (paying full rent as we aren;t entitled to benefits) and quite frankly it's a blessed relief right now. No lying awake worrying about how to pay for essential repairs, no thinking 'what if the house loses value by 25% over the next couple of years?

Yeah, there are downsides - we might get notice and have to move unexpectedly which would be a pisser with kids's schools and work - but you know, I see no reason to be jealous of mortgage payers. I also know dozens of people who can only afford to pay interest only on mortgages anyway , so you may as well be renting for cheaper.

ftr - did you seem my 15.05 post?

I said this a couple of years ago though. Nothing like a recession to make people start looking around at others, whose circumstances haven't deteriorated (because they had nothing in the first place) and feel pissed off that they are scrabbling for pennies and people who by rights should be poorer don't seem to be.

but the truth is, they aren't better off (unless they are committing fraud), it's just that they cut their coat to their cloth a long time ago. I feel very sorry for people whose circumstances change drastically - they cut their coat according to their cloth and suddenly they don't have enough cloth.

I don't have a car. I don't have a mortgage. I don't have any debts - I've been skint for so long nobody would lend me any money, I don't have a credit rating. I don't have any insurance, I don't have things like gym membership on direct debit, payments for already booked holidays, house or contents insurance.

So apart from the rising cost of food and fuel, which I have absorbed as well as I am able, my circumstances haven't changed. I shop at boot sales and charity shops, as people are suggesting lately - but I have been doing it for years.

But for people who until recently had plenty of spare cash (or even a bit) and so tied it up in mobile contracts, car payments, savings accounts, pension payments, insurance on contents, booked holidays - well what cash they had is tied, then all of a sudden the cost of their housing, already a bone of contention in this country, rises drastically.

I can see why you're pissed off. You must feel like you're working for nothing. But it's not our fault, we haven't caused the rise in mortgage rates.

Yes - and I certainly have never said doing a degree is short term thinking.

Sadly, a degree these days isnt an automatic passport anywhere, but will definitely broaden your options in looking for work. I think all the other factors I mentioned, like being flexible, not expecting to walk into the perfect job and not expecting to work around school hours are equally important too.

Smug - I don't detect bitterness because other people's circumstances haven't deteriorated!

The thread started with the situation of someone committing fraud. That is clearly unlawful - it's not the case at all that other people are bitter or envious!

I would never be jealous of someone living on benefits, because I like the fact that I have an interesting and worthwhile job, and frankly I would be bored shitless not working with my kids at school. But I still think it's totally wrong for anyone to commit fraud - they are taking money away from the things like education and health which it should be spent on.

I think you should tell the DWP because they are taking benefits away from someone (including children) that may actually need it more than then. But.. my DH is a fraud investigator (For NHS not DWP) so I am more aware of situations and what it costs us.

"Sadly, a degree these days isnt an automatic passport anywhere, but will definitely broaden your options in looking for work. I think all the other factors I mentioned, like being flexible, not expecting to walk into the perfect job and not expecting to work around school hours are equally important too."

I know that - but with a recognised certificate at the end of just the Level 1 course I will automatically find more jobs available for me to apply for - as I'll have the knowledge required.

So was I not flexible when I work nights, fgs the job I got was no where NEAR what I would describe as a perfect job. And even now when I browse the jobcentre website to see what's available I click the "all" option. I have ruled nothing out totally.

Hmm - quick browse now reveals

Sales at the 02 shop - 20hrs a week minimum wage (can't afford to do that) and most Saturdays
Estate Agent - can't drive so that rules that one out
Care Assistants (as it happens at my old work) - must be able to work nights (experience tells me shit pay, bullying and harassment from the manager towards me which contributed greatly to my depression).
Secretary - not enough hours for me to get WTC, and salary too big to get IS - ie leaving me screwed
Various cleaning jobs - all under 16hrs a week (need to work 16+hrs a week to get WTC)
Night chef
Various jobs advertised as being in my town - but actually being miles out (god I hate it when they do that )

Shit - just went to the 2nd page - and that's it for my town atm - and that's all jobs !!!

As things stand at the moment I will HAVE to find a job to fit around school hours, being on my own (regardless of skills I don't have ) I simply don't have the time to set up more holiday childcare schemes, which probably wouldn't be used. Of all the people I know they either work opposite shifts (like H and I used to do) or already are lucky enough to have a place for their DC at holiday schemes.

Hopefully with the massive increase in new builds in our area in recent years, by the time I'm ready to go back to work things will have improved (and in theory DS1 will be old enough to take himself off on the bus/walk to whereever his childcare is.

However, as aside fromt he financial/childcare aspect I will not even consider working now - even if you offered me a job which made me £500 a week better off - I wouldn't take it, even if it was my dream job - my children's welfare come first. And right now is NOT the time for my children (recent marriage break-up which is only just starting to hit home, and both older DS's have started new schools this term). Of course if I was prepared to risk screwing my kids heads up - then yes I may consider it = personally I'd rather put up with the negative press about single parents on benefits until DS3 starts school

Sorry, was taking an interest in your posts until that last one FAQ. Anyone who starts on about working screwing their kids heads up, and talking about putting their kids's welfare first, suggesting that parents who work are somehow neglecting their children.....

Sorry, not going to listen to that crap - it's rubbish and insulting to the hundreds of thousands of parents who do work, including those who have broken marriages, or children who have just started school.

excellent post, SmugColditz.

Steady on findtheriver. I think FAQ was talking about her current situation. In that her recent marriage breakup, presumably meaning that her kids are feeling extra vulnerable right now. That has nothing to do with how other people's kids may or may not be coping. She feels that hers are needy at the moment, so adding to their woes by violently clatering their routine is not desirable - at the moment.

Possibly, but I think comments like 'I put my children's welfare first' are really crass... like the rest of us don't ??

No. But p'raps she meant before the Government's desire to have us all out up chimneys from dawn 'til dusk.

I'd be forced to work through a marriage breakup........we'd definitely lose our home otherwise.

I put the welfare of my children before my desire to get off benefits and back into the workplace.

Sorry if you misinterpreted it - of course everyone puts their child first.