I'm dying to grass up the benefit cheats living next to me but..

[ssd]

..dh won't let me as they have 3 kids and he feels its unfair on the kids

they are the laziest young couple I've ever met, she told me she can't afford to work as she is getting so much paid for her by claiming to be a single mum, but her partner (kids dad) work on the side so they have that money coming in too

they seem to spend all their money on takeaway deliveries, about 3 a week, but sod all on their kids who come chapping my door every day trying to get in to play with our toys, and probably for a feed as they get their takeaways about half nine at night

we both work here, I'm part time on minimum wage and she actually told me what she "clears" a month and with income support, job seekers and rent paid she's better off than us bith working

I'm heartily sick of seeing them swanning about, she always seems to have new clothes and their car is much better than ours, her mu mtakes the kids at weekends so they can go out and party, she told me they can afford to go out every Sat and they lie in bed all Sunday till the kids are delivered back to them

I'm so bitter, I'm sick of the injustice

should I go ahead and tell social services and let dh go mad or just let them live their dishonest life and shut up? I really don't know what to do

"I won't be moaning about not being able to find a job around the children because you create your own opportunities."

hmm - glad you live somewhere with lots of childcare options, and jobs that don't involve shift work or night work....

Actually having said that - you have a DP/DH don't you? If so - then yes it's doable - you won't see much of each other (in exH and I's case that was a good thing ) but it's doable.

When you're on your own with no chance of getting your 8yr old DS into a summer holiday childcare scheme until next summer (at earliest) - then the options aren't quite so obvious.

thats why you need to be creative and think now about what you are going to do then

instead you have written it off without even trying

i'm sure there'll always be a reason not to try to do something but I'd rather hedge my bets and go with any employment I could get rather than the other option of acceptance and complacency

sorry where did I say i had written it off?

I'm about to start a degree. I keep my hand in with my music so there are could be options available with that in the future.

It's all very well to say you'll hedge you bets and go with any employment you can get (which is exactly what I did when finances forced me to go out to work after we had DS2 - and I will do when DS3 starts school/nursery) - but what if there's no childcare there for you. What are you going to do then?

Leave them at home on their own?

well if I were you I would train as a music teacher

pays better than benefits
solves the school holiday issue
opportunities for progression

I am faced with a Winter of not putting the central heating on..because we can't afford the cost of fuel bills NOW let alone during the colder months of the year...so we've topped up with hot water bottles, warmer curtains (second hand) and blankets on beds. The kids have got warm pj's and plenty of socks!

I often go out with my dog and take a carrier bag with me - that way I can nick apples off the various fruit trees we have dotted around here, help myself to blackberries...and freeze/make pies etc. I buy reduced stuff in Sainsburys/Tescos and only ever buy their basics/value range. I walk everywhere. The only time I drive is when DH is here and I use his company car. My car is sat gathering dust atm.

I know its hard for a lot of people who are single parents and living off benefits but its also bloody hard for those who do work and have their own homes, bringing up kids and trying to keep their heads above the water.

FAQ, sorry I wasn't criticising you, I hope it didn't come across that way, what I was annoyed about are the posts I read all the time on here and other sites that suggest you get loads of money on benefits.
You know the ones "ooh, my neighbours are on benefis, have a 5 bed house paid for by the council, a Ferrari and go on holiday to the Carribean 4 times a year" and similar. (ok I exagerated slightly)

I can't make a living round here teaching the organ - there simply isn't the demand - I did get some interest when I tried a few years ago - but no-where near enough to sustain it.

Training to be a music teacher in a school would take me years - the degree I'm starting isn't in music - there fore (having on Standard Grade in Science - Scottish GSCE equivlaents) I couldnt do primary teaching (unless I were to sit it separately now) - so I would be forced into Secondary - I don't have enough musical background (despite going to a specialist music school ) to teach music to that level, so I would need to do a booster course (which I'm pretty sure is a lot less than I would need), complete my degree and do the teacher training......

The length of time taken to do that my kids will be well into school - and DS1 will probably be old enough to watch his younger brothers after school until I finish any sort of job! It is something I looked into not that long ago - and simply isn't a viable option for me.

Not mention the fact that having looked on the TDA website - booster courses in music don't seem to exist!!! And that I taught music for a year on my gap year, and the worked as a teaching assistant in a different school for a while after that and it was truly awful

No it's ok - I didn't think you were criticising - I was just showing that sometimes people on benefits do manage to do those things - but not because they're on benefits, but because they're lucky enough to have (all be it short term) help from other people.

The new clothes thing - well yes I could probably manage a little better (and afford a winter jacket for myself and boots that I don't risk twisting my ankle in ) if I didn't buy them for the boys - but I'm not changing that so long as I manage to pay my bills and feed them properly.

oh and whispy - I may be on benefits - but I still have to pay my own housing costs - and I don't even own my own home. I get my council tax paid (which with the single person discount, and the band this house is in, wasn't that massive anyhow) the rest of it comes out of my CTC, CB and IS.

also please don't assume that I don't know what it's like "on the other side" - 3yrs ago we were in dire financial straits, I don't think there was anyone that we didn't owe money to - several months worth.

H managed to get a new job working from around lunchtime to 9pm, he would walk in the door at 9.30pm and I would walk out and walk to work, finish at 7am, come home, get DS1 off to school, have a few hours sleep and then get up when H left for work at lunch. I continued to do that until I fell pg with DS3 and went on Maternity leave at 29 weeks. Thankfully by that stage our finances were under control and we'd paid most of the major debts off. But at the start of it I we had £400 a month to pay all our bills, and feed us all.

FAQ - "and I did go on holiday this year (paid for from money left to me )"

I assume you called the DWP and declared this windfall did you ???

it wasn't that much of a windfall - left me well within the savings limit allowed. And yes I did mention it to them as I wasn't sure what the limit was.

FAQ - I didn't think I had the skills to set up an after school club for childcare! It was the last thing I'd ever have dreamed of doing, and certainly the last thing I wanted to do - especially while looking after 3 kids and working myself!

I don't think anyone is having a go at you personally, I think people are just pointing out that there are two ways of looking at things.

I could quite easily have said, 'I have two toddlers who need full time nursery which will take 90% of my wages, plus an older child starting school and NO family around and NO after school club or CMs - right, I can't work'.

Instead, taking a longer term view, I put my efforts into setting up an after school club (which actually then benefited a lot more children, not just mine) and I accepted the fact that the next 3 years of working for me meant spending nearly all my income on childcare.

No one is saying it's easy - it isn't. But at the end of the day, it's about getting on with it, making the best of your situation. And I think a huge upside of what DH and I did is that our children don't take anything forgranted - they know that society is about putting in as well as taking out.

as long as I could pay all my bills and feed my children I'd be quite happy to put the rest of my income towards childcare - but if 90% of my income goes on childcare - I have no "back-up" income of a DP/DH to fall back on - my bills wouldn't be paid and I've had no food to feed my children (I mean I'm pretty frugal - but I don't think even I could spent just 10% of my income on bills and food )

I know I'll find some answer to my work/childcare issues in a few years time - but for the time being I don't know what that solution will be

Why would 90% of your income FAQ go on childcare - you'd be entitled to 80% of your costs being covered by tax credits, you could keep up £12,000 a year without loosing the child element of it too.
Since you aren't getting housing benefit you would be a hell of a lot better off as you'd still get some council tax benefit and that would allow you to still do an OU degree free of charge and claim grants from them too.

if I worked 20hrs a week on minimum wage, I would be £100 a week better off (from the information given to me by the lone parent advisor a few weeks ago)

However that doesn't include my housing costs (which are £100 a week), I wouldn't get my council tax paid, and I wouldn't be able to do my degree.

FAQ - you wouldnt have to pay 90% of childcare though would you - because as a single parent on a more limited income, you would qualify for help!

I'm not making a personal criticism at all, but the point I am trying to make is that some people will choose the easy short term option and others will try to find a way to overcome the barriers.

I'm sure some of my friends thought I was bonkers to work for 3 years when I could have sat at home with my toddlers and i would have been just as well off financially. However, if I'd done that I might now find I'm stuck in a dead end job rather than being in the position I am now.

I didn't think doing a degree while I've still got a toddler at home was short term thinking - I was thinking long term when I applied - so that when I'm in a position to go back to work my options are greater.

FAQ..I didn't say that all those on benefits get help with their housing rent but I know of some that do. Some actually live rent free as well as get their council tax paid. Like a lot out there we pay for it all (mortgage in our case) and its extremely hard to do so each and every month and some months we either don't have 1p to our name and other times we go heavily overdrawn and it can take us months to get back into credit again.

It's an uphill battle for a lot of people out there at the moment, whether you be single parents and claiming what you can or married parents claiming what you can or, like us, working but struggling massively....it's tough for everyone, some more so than others.

I'd love to get just my council tax paid each month - that'd save us £118 per month. That'd mean my kids could go swimming each weekend (not fortnightly atm), go on school trips without having to save every penny for them and I could treat them to a trip to the seaside occasionally and not worry about the cost of putting unleaded in my car.

I'm not disagreeing with you whispy on the struggle for everyone.

But I didn't like the assumption that because someone is on benefits they're living the high life not having bills to pay, going overdrawn, etc etc.

Which is why (going back to the OP ) I think she should report them - everyone is struggling on what they've got - whether it's benefits or a wage - so why should she get away with claiming money she's not even entitled to.

Have a look at www.entitledto.co.uk because that sounds wrong and as long as you get a pound of the council tax benefit you would get support from the OU to do your degree, in fact you would anyway because of earning under £18k with dependents.

I'd like to take my kids swimming full stop (actually no I wouldn't - took DS3 for the first time while on holiday and he freaked out - took him weeks to calm down again around water so holding off that for a few years until he's old enough to understand the water is cold hehe) , go on school trips without having to save every penny for them (and I do - in my penny pot ) and be able to even have a car (mind you I suppose being able to drive would be a good idea before I consider owning a car LOL)

I completely agree with you FAQ...I'm well aware that there are some out there who do struggle on benefits. BUT there are also those that don't and do take the rest of us for a ride. It's those that claim that do not need to (can work etc) that the Government need to clamp down on.

It'd be nice if the Government would also consider those who may not be able to keep their homes warm this Winter who are not old enough to claim the Winter fuel allowance...there are some elderly folk out there who can well afford to keep their homes warm - us 'youngsters' can't either and we're the ones with kids who must surely fall into the same category as the elderly as far as needs/requirements are concerned?!