DH refuses to have single joint account - will this cause practical/legal issues in the event of spousal death?

[bookshelfwormy]

I thought I would come here for practical opinions/advice because most of our close friends earn equal amounts as their partners, whether lower or higher than our tax brackets, so their situation differs from ours.

For background, DH earns significantly more than me and we have separate accounts. About 70% more than me. This means he has significantly more savings than me and also is naturally more generous. So pays for most things. I transfer him an amount to his bank account every month to help with mortgage and nursery fees, as these + bills + holidays, all of which DH pays for, really end up eating his salary away. So ironically, I end up saving as much as him as I only pay for food shop and kid stuff. He has more savings as, pre-kids, he managed to save more than me. He also pays for big expenses, like my car, my phone etc... Anyway - no issues there, is my point. Up to this point, we have always had separate accounts because it's worked out fine since he is very generous. HOWEVER, it just dawned on me - mind you, I am very anxtiety-prone - that if he dies, I will be in a legal pickle because we only have sole accounts. Am I correct in this?? So I'd have to go through court to get access to what is technically OUR money???

I expressed this concern to him and suggested we both keep everything as is but add our names to all our existing accounts. He said no to this because he doesn't want to get my approval if he needs to make adjustments to his main account. I couldn't help but feel this was somewhat of an excuse? How often does he have to make changes to his account? He did then said he is willing to create a joint account where he has most of his savings, so I suppose that redeems it all? But I'd still need to go through court for his other accounts?

I just suddenly feel financially insecure despite being married but not sure if I am just ignorant???😂We have x2 DCs and the last thing I'd want to go through is court red tape if I end up alone with them - sorry for being bluntly practical here!!

Appreciate if you could enlighten on me - tell me, should I get a grip and chill?Or am I right to panic a little?

I'm clueless when it comes to financial stuff! Thank you xx

If it is in his name only, then yes, i believe you would need to prove that the money is destined for you. Paying for a funeral etc may be tough.

Irrespective of all of the rest, he’s lying about needing the freedom to make ‘adjustments’. You can even take out or extend overdrafts as one of the people on a joint account, having a second person doesn’t at all impact on the way the account is managed. The only thing you possibly wouldn’t be able to do is change the account type, but this is not something you’d do routinely - I last changed mine 15 years ago to a reward account with insurance etc.

He obviously doesn’t want you on the bank account and with full visibility of his spending.

Which is fair enough, and easily overcome with a joint bank account for bills and family spending and his own discretionary spending in a separate account. In terms of savings, if you have your own then you wouldn’t need immediate access for a funeral if something happened, you just need access to the main bills account. Which really you should have anyway.

Do you have life insurance

I'd say it's a good idea to keep the individual current and savings accounts you already have, and open a new joint current account and a new joint savings account. If you both pay a reasonable amount (based on your salary) into the joint current account each month you can start to transition your outgoings to come from this account.
Equally if you also decide to move a set amount to the joint savings account, that will always be there for both of you to access.

You then still have individual current and savings account you can have access to for personal spending when required.

We do this and it's the best of both worlds. If something happened to one of us the other would have easy access to money in the short term.

If he will have most of his savings in his in a joint account then why are you worried?

Most people have their savings in ISAs and they can't be joint.

I think what he suggested is a fair compromise.

Have you both got Wills and lasting powers of attorneys?

I'd be concerned about him not wanting to add you to the accounts. Seems a very unusual set up when you are married with kids. I'd be worried if he was to pass suddenly you'd struggle to have enough cash until everything was sorted, life insurance came through etc.

You don't need to go to court. If you are married and/or he has a will leaving it to you it would automatically pass to you, but you'd have to wait until probate was granted. Unless the estate is more than £322k, when some would go to his DC.

The danger is that he leaves a will that doesn't include you, in which case he could leave it anywhere.

Practically, if you have access to enough cash to play the bills until probabte is granted, you'll be OK, but it is more straightforward just to have his name removed from the account on production of the death certificate.

This is what we've always done. Bills come out of a bills account but our salaries are individual accounts.

Fwiw, on most joint account he wouldn't need you to approve any changes, as bank will act on the instructions of any one account holder (which would of course include you).

We just added each others name to our existing accounts. I still really have nothing to do with his and vice versa but if either of us die it should make things easier. I've heard Probate can be an expensive, slow nightmare these days.

As well as a will leaving everything to you he also needs to set up a Power of attorney.
My friends H had a routing Operation but something went wrong and he was in a coma for a month. She had zero access to his accounts and was in an awful situation as she was a SAHM.

It’s really important to have POAs, whatever your age.

There may be a short term problem until the will and or probate are sorted out, but assuming his will leaves everything to you it will all come to you. If you have savings and can manage the bills for a while it will be fine. Does he have a will and who are the executers? If not rules on intestacy apply. If a lawyer is an executor they may be able to release some funds early. Perhaps you could open a joint savings account with enough funds to cover six months of bills to cover all eventualities.

He’s not generous unless he’s doing 50% housework and childcare as well
I suspect he can only earn that money because you do the lions share of childcare and housework? In that case he’s just using the money that your free labour allows him to make.

you’re worrying about if he dies. But if he divorces, the paper trail shows that only he pays the mortgage, he has phones cars etc - you don’t have anything. I dunno if that matters if you’re married but I’d probably be a bit worried about that and why he doesn’t want to make the paper trail clear that you’re a team

So you have no history of paying for utilities, your phone, your car loan?

Effectively, you have no credit?

You need a credit card in your name.

You both need wills and POA in place.

Life insurance is another thing he should take into account.

I don't like the arrangement you and he have. Adults need a financial profile in this world - a history of paying bills, a credit card of their own, etc.

His reason not to have a joint account is extremely flimsy.

If his will says it all goes to her, doesn’t matter the amount, none would go to his DC. Obviously if his will said some will go to them, then of course it would

My OH would just take my card to use if that happened to me? But then, they do know my pin number

Most important question is do you both have wills?
You don't have to "go to court" when someone dies but you do need to get probate in most cases. It's important to have a will and preferably be an executor.
As to joint accounts not everyone does.
His suggestion of a joint account for some savings is a sensible suggestion because you would automatically get that money straight away if he died. The rest would go through probate, not court.

My DH died recently ,his bank acct paid out to me with just a death certificate , as it was less than 50k (Santander, but l think they all have slightly different rules) For larger balances you have to produce probate ( or proof of administration if your DH were to die intestate) It is usually the surviving spouse (or executor, if they aren't one and the same person) who is paid the proceeds to distribute as per the will or the rules of intestacy. It was quite simple/straightforward. All banks/financial institutions have a 'bereavement team' you should contact who are extremely helpful as you would expect.

I’m sure many would but it’s actually illegal to do that and you could be in trouble once they find out the person has died.

Paying for the funeral would be fine - you can take the bill to his bank and they’ll pay it directly. That one isn’t the big issue, the other bills wouldn’t be as easy.

@Greenclass I have proof of paying monthly towards our mortgage. That is not a concern. But appreciate you flagging. He does his share of housework and childcare. For instance he has a day off with kids and I dont.

@chirrupybird we have a will where we are each others’ sole inheritors. Genuine question, does it matter who his executioner is if I am his inheritor? If yes, why?

we have life insurance too. I will
need to check about POAs.

I have to be honest, being willing to have a joint account with savings, but not a joint account for bills would make me wonder what bills he had that he didn’t want me to see.

Is your mortgage in joint names?

DH died recently and it was one less thing to worry about; having a joint account meant all the direct debits got paid as normal. And now the same account is in my sole name they continue to be paid. At least have a joint account for bills.

That's weird. I think he's lying to you. We have a joint account and the only reason I haven't been able to access it is when I forgot my pin! Otherwise I can use the card at a cash machine or in a shop without my husband just like I can with my own individual account. Maybe if you were buying a house or even a car so spending several thousand, you'd need both people to sign/enter a pin, but not for everyday spends.

@JustAnotherWhinger I am not concenred about this. We both know each other’s account passwords if I needed to check and find him out on anything.