Separation from high earner - how to live off this amount per month?

[Pinkpanther23]

Husband leaving and have 7 month and 7 year old - there’s been DV and finances are terrible.

Rent is £950 which for the house is amazing value, there’s nothing else locally that would keep eldest in same school that comes close. Think £100 less for a 2 bed apartment.

Ex has agreed to give £1k per month as is a high earner, this seems reasonable but I am worried about depending on this but he is a covert narc and cares a lot about his image and wouldn’t want me telling the village I’m destitute.

But it feels like I will be. Despite this higher cms with UC it’s only £2400 at the end. Im doing minimum wage remote work currently for like £200 a month and that may stop soon.

Have limited childcare here too and increasing my hours would mean a nursery and they’re literally all booked up until Jan. Contacted all local childminders too.

I’ve read on a forum that someone managed just fine on £2400 with 2 kids and fairly high rent but I can’t seem to run the numbers and cut any more.

I need to run a car due to location, and have accounted for £100 a month for MOT and repairs etc, also oil costs have sky rocketed so have factored in £130 a month for that

do I try to get more work somehow?

I feel so low

How high an earner is he?
Is 1k out of hia monthly 10k income?or20k? Or 3k?
You need divorce lawyer to look at all financials and advise you

Speak to citizens advice and check your numbers. I've got a friend in a very similar situation, she works part time as a TA and is leaving someone who earns a hell of a lot. She and I did her budget and I'm aware it depends on your location but your rent would be almost fully covered by the housing portion of UC where we live.

Also, I wouldn't just accept what he offers, if he's a high earner then his CMS obligation may well be more than 1k a month so make sure you double check he's not short changing you.

Have you claimed maternity allowance at all? If not could you claim it now? Make sure you claim child benefit too which you won't have been entitled to until this point. If you're in England you'll also get funding for childcare from 9 months if you go back to work. Look into child minders as well as nurseries.

It's a lot, like I say I'd start by speaking to citizens advice. Then once you've got a clear understanding of your entitlement it's time to make a budget and stick to it. It'll be an adjustment but you can do it! Good luck

He was earning 6k a month but is now on a different contract and will get around 4k but can do extra shifts to massively bump that up

I cant afford a lawyer

Thank you for the kind wishes
CMS is coming out at around 900 but then when he does overnights it reduces massively and I would be completely in the red.
the housing element here is only £500 which is ridiculous given rental prices

@Pinkpanther23 Would you be picking up the full £950 pm rent yourself? Private rental?

Is he earning 4-6k Or bringing home 4-6k ie earning a lot more ???

@Pinkpanther23 *Also, I wouldn't class £4k pm base salary (added on to by bonuses) a "high earner" by today's standards.

Agree

so is your estimated total income every month £2400?
your salary £200
support from ex £1000
and £1200 left - so is that all you will get from UC and child benefit? That seems low as you’d be entitled to the housing element, UC element for 2 children, child benefit x 2 and UC rate for you

£4k a month isn’t a terribly high earner, is it?

I would look at free childcare places as soon as there is one available and getting more working hours.

£1532.78 for UC and £179.80 every 4 weeks in child benefit.

@Pinkpanther23 What were you earning in the years between your 7 yo and 7 mo? Could you return to the same work?

So that’s more than £2400 a month to live on (unless I’ve misunderstood OP , I thought she said she only had £2400 in total)

@GodDamnitDonut I'd like that amount and not to work tbh...

It is where the OP lives though surely as monthly rent of 950 is very low for a house so its all relative.

How have you been living off 4k per month with 2 kids

I managed on a lot less than that.

sounds awful my condolences

Can all of the ‘£4k a month, you’re paupers’ bunch just naff off. You’re not helping the OP.

So many people just having to say £4000 a month isn't much when they know full well it is a lot more than the average take home pay which is £2,400.

Yeah that's the figures I got too if the OP has provided the correct LHA amount for housing element. Plus £200 for income and £1000 maintenance makes just over £2900 a month.

That's what I earn working full time as a teacher
Fuck me
I'm in the process of separating and will get close to naff all from STBXH
things like this make me want to give it all up

You're currently renting despite your ex earning well plus whatever you earned prior to maternity leave? So no property to take into account. When you divorce you should be entitled to a share of marital assets including any property equity and his pension, so don't walk away from that.

But having £1250 after your rent doesn't sound too bad, depending on what your other expenses are. Plus if you find work again, you'll be entitled to help with the cost of childcare, so will be better off.

Simple really you need to work more - £200 a month salary is ridiculous - it’s not for the taxpayer to top you up with UC so you can bring in such a small wage out choice. Take a job ….any job!