Should I use savings to cover my share of bills during maternity leave?

[isitlunchtimeyet89]

I’m going on maternity leave soon, for the second time.

The first time, I took a shorter period so I was either on full pay or half pay the entire time. I therefore continued paying my half of mortgage/bills/living expenses as usual. My husband was self employed and his business was badly hit by Covid at the time, but he continued paying his half of all costs too.

This time I am taking a full year. 6 months full pay, 3 months statutory and 3 months unpaid. I’m then taking a lump of accrued annual leave when I go back, so the baby won’t need to go into childcare until he’s 14 months old.

I have been saving up so that I can use my savings to continue to pay my half of the mortgage/bills/living expenses during the low/no pay period. This is quite high (£1650 per month) due to a large mortgage. I was just wondering whether this is normal or whether my husband should be also funding my maternity leave in some way?

This is our last baby so I wanted to take the maximum time with him and also with my daughter, which we both agree is the right decision. We’ve also both had a really tough time the past few years and I in particular have struggled quite a lot mentally/emotionally, so I’m hoping to use the time to get some therapy and hopefully be in a better place before I go back to work. So taking less time isn’t really an option.

He not a stingy person, and is generally pretty generous. We earn a similar amount and split everything equally. We both have our own savings accounts but we don’t really spend large amounts on ourselves, so those savings are mainly for family holidays and future house renovations anyway.

I’m just interested in others’ thoughts on how maternity leave should be funded. Should I be asking him to contribute in some way? Or would you just leave as is?

We have always had joint money.
In your situation it would be fair to each pay half to make up the shortfall.

Should OP put her baby into childcare at 2 weeks because that’s the statutory paternity entitlement?

We just had one pot finances and didn't worry about who earned each penny of the family money, just whether we had enough to meet all our needs

I couldn't cope with an arrangement where you had to quibble about it all

If it genuinely hasn't occurred to him that he should be covering the cost of his own child then that is very depressing. Why is he comfortable with you taking a financial hit to have his child?

The cost is the lost earnings, lost pension contributions, lost cumulative pension growth on the reduced contributions, lost savings growth.

As a minimum he should be ensuring that you don't lose pension or savings growth by topping up your pension contributions and protecting your savings, and then covering half the cost of the rest.

His pension and savings aren't taking a hit long term because of having children. Neither should yours.

Shared parental leave is more than that.

Is it odd that I like having a separate current account and savings, and don’t really want to pool everything? I like having my little pots on Monzo and setting savings goals, etc. 😅

I’m not sure how well pooling would even work as I’m paid a regular salary whereas he takes a very low monthly salary and then gets paid in dividends a couple of times a year depending on how his business is going. It’s very sporadic, which would stress me out. We make sure there is plenty of money in our various joint pots for days out, meals out, miscellaneous day to day items, etc.

Putting that aside, since that works well for us as it is…

Since I only have 6 months of low/no pay, is the consensus that during that 6 month period he pays his usual contribution to our joint finances and we split my usual portion 50/50 from our respective savings? For the rest of the time I’m on full pay so I would just carry on as normal during those times.

I am in an almost identical situation but now at the 13 month mark.

For the 6 months of full pay I just contributed as normal.

we worked out what percentage of my pay on full pay went into the joint account and then used this to work out how much I contributed when I went onto statutory and he topped up the rest.

when I went onto no pay he covered everything.

Don’t think of it as a change to your income, think of it as a change to your household income.

obviously if he cannot afford this then yes you might have to use savings if going back to work isn’t an option.

No

Which he’s entitled to take, but funnily enough it doesn’t seem to be something he’s interested in along with covering the cost of the baby he chose to have. So

Just put all your money into one account and have the bills come out ?! I don’t know who could be bothered with all these % and half an half and god knows what! You’re not flat mates. You can still make savings pots etc.
Why would his sporadic money stress you out - my husband is self employed and we pay his money in once a month like a pretend salary so it doesn’t get spend all at once.

What about your personal expenses during the low pay time? Do they all come from the joint account? That needs to be considered too. You shouldn’t be using only your savings to pay for haircuts or toddler groups etc.

Can he afford to pay twice the amount?
If not, then you have no choice but to use your savings.

I don’t think either of you should be dipping into your savings.
If you do need to, then you both need to contribute the same amount from each of your savings.

It's both of your child so it's both of your responsibility to save for maternity. If you're taking a full year it's both of your situation to manage.

Both of you need to cut back in the lead up and save a few grand to cover that 3 month unpaid.

Honestly I couldn't be with someone that saw the baby as just a woman's problem.

Then again those that are saying it's the man's responsibility to cover it are just as bad.

I think you're mad but I'm just a stranger on the Internet!

So how does this separate finance thing work when you're paying for your DCs expenses? You go to Pepa Pig World while you're on mat leave. Do you charge that to the joint account because the kids are jointly both of yours? Or do you pay for it out of your own money because it's a fun activity only you are doing with the kids? You get lunch out while you're there. Do you charge your food to your own account and your kids' food to the joint account? How do you cost the petrol? It's a nonsense isn't it. It doesn't work!
Which account is going to be used for their clothes, soft play trips, toddler group charges, swimming lessons, school dinners, craft supplies, toys, books, OTC medications, school trips...?
What happens if you decide you'd like to work part time after mat leave?

All money in one pot, equal savings, equal fun money.

Ignore, misread

You could use savings to cover statutory 3 months then he pays fully for you to stay home for final 3 months as he won't be contributing to baby childcare he would of you were back at work. You might be able to get a few KIT days.

Hell no, not your savings.
Joint savings if you need the income.

Did you honestly not discuss this sort of nitty gritty about affordability, bills, lengths of maternity leave, costs of childcare etc when you were planning to start a family? Absolutely mind-boggling that married couples don't discuss the finer details first.

No woman should be bringing a child into the world and only then discovering that the child's father is not prepared to step up and provide for them.

This ⬆️. You are a couple, having a child is a joint endeavour. Don't you share finances?

Is he paying you to do his share of the day to day, day-time caring and upbringing of your joint child?

Unbelievable. Why do women do this?

NO.

Your partner's role is to support you as you recover from bringing his child into the world.

Do not impoverish yourself due to the accident of biology that made you the bearer of babies.

We have 1 account for absolutely everything and 1 savings account. Everything I earn and everything my husband earns is for our family unit. I don't get the whole your money, my money thing at all when you're married, especially those who have children.

Separate finances is fine if that works for you both. He needs to contribute more when you are on lower pay/ no pay either from his income or you both use savings equally.

Your employer should still pay into your pension based on your full salary so hopefully that won't be too much of a hit.