If you were in my shoes, how would you get yourself out of this ?

[Hillomjs12]

Looking for some advice because I am going through a rough patch financially and I am worried my debt is going to increase to just make ends meet!

Since my separation I have been lucky to secure a small terraced for me and my children. I am however coming to the realisation that the cost of living as a single parent is not only difficult it is becoming increasingly evident that I cannot continue living off so little. I co-parent with EXH 50/50 so not liable for any child maintenance and quite rightly, so he has them his fair share of time. I receive some UC and child benefit, but this gets swallowed up with bills, petrol, food etc.

I have no savings and my son’s birthday / MOT coming up next month. Every time I try to make an overpayment on my credit card it gets swallowed up a few days down the line when I have nothing left in the bank. I am going to break this down and would appreciate any advice on how I can increase my surplus money.

Take home £1900
UC + CB = £480
Mortgage: £720
Utilities: £150
Water: £77 (no meter)
Council Tax: £220 ( this will reduce to £120 in April)
TV + broadband: £35
Mobile: £17
Gym: £26
Car: £160 (pcp)
Car tax and insurance:£55
Vet subscription: £19
Loan: £100 (family member lent me money for necessary home repairs)
Credit Card: £40 ( I owe £1,600)
Food: £350
Petrol: £100
Klarna: £39 (Two payments left from Christmas presents for DC)

If my calculations are correct, I am normally left with £68 a week to live off after all bills have been deducted. But with this I need to use it to pay for DC activities, clothes, and upcoming birthdays, general life. I work a Band 4 NHS operations role so think I need to start looking for a better paid job role. How can I realistically improve my life financially because I cannot continue living like this?

Thank you for your help ✍

5 was supposed to be mushrooms, but she said she purchased broccoli instead! id go with the mushrooms

Id not give up the pet insurance - but I would swap companies when the annual renewal is up for a cheaper insurance.

I would also look at stuff like jam doughnut, which gives cash back, things like that add up - especially on the surperkmaket shop.

Going back to your car usage, £100 in fuel each month is a fair bit, so id assume your commute is 20 miles each day? make sure your using cruise control if you have it and drive as if you have an egg under the accelerator, no needed braking (take your foot of the accelerator as you leave the motorway, as the traffic lights turn red take your foot off) - this will save fuel and if you can save 20% you'll save your engine and £20 per month

This, and absolute must, not 'any chance if he feels like it'.

He has the DC 50/50. Which means he pays half the cost of things like DC clothes and shoes, gifts, haircuts, everything they need.

But in any case, it looks like you can make things easier OP, a few savings here and there will add up.

Plus definitely see if you can get into aesthetics. Even a couple of sessions a week will make a huge difference. Or perhaps a bank shift or two when DC are with their dad.

I am temporarily in the same boat OP. I have been unwell and off work for a long time and had gone onto half pay with SSP. I am currently about £500 a month down on earnings.

I had to get rid of our David Lloyd membership (gutted as son and I loved it) and give up our pony (equally gutted). Combined and with fuel saved from not going to the yard every day, it brought my earnings/spending into a similar budget as you.

I have got food down to £300 a month. This could probably be cheaper but I am coeliac, love to bake and also on a low residue diet so lots of GF bread, pasta and flour which is more expensive than normal.

Switched my EE £27 SIM only contract to Lebara and now pay £1.75 a month for 6 months then it increases to about a fiver a month. Need to do my broadband too but still in contract.

£68 a week is doable but I agree it isn't fun, especially if you have been used to having/doing more.

You mention losing out on UC if you pick up bank shifts? Can I ask why this is? Does it not follow the same rule of losing 55p per pound or is it different if its paid through bank?

Yes will be claiming single person discount from April, the large bill now was due to a delay in them taking payment from me when I bought my property. The buildings and contents insurance was paid annually so okay until August.
Yes agree food bills could come down and I am going to look at some of the previous posters suggestions. Thank you for your help :)

@HelloCheekyCat
Yes I cannot risk cancelling pet insurance as I have no savings if any large vet bill cropped up. The subscription pays for flea and worm treatment, as well as 2 consultations and years vaccine so I think its worthwhile.

I would cut the gym and vet subscription.

@ForLoveNotMoney I get less UC because my income is higher for the previous month so in effect I am no better off doing overtime unless I commit to a really large number of hours. I would absolutely love to not rely on UC and get a higher paid job.
Your mobile bill is excellent I will definitely look at Libara - thank you.❤

Thing is if you shave £10 of here and £20 of there a month - it will add up, you could find you have an extra £50 per month - which can then be saved, put aside for when you do need it and don't need to put it on credit card

£20/30 of water bill
£9 of phone
£5 of broadband and tv
£10 of Utilities
£20 of grocery shopping

easily saves you £50+ a month

Why are you not claiming single person discount from now? when did the 2nd adult leave the home?

you get the discount from when they leave, and it can be back dated

Ask your broadband provider about social tariff, depending on who you are with you can get BB when on UC for around £12.50-£15.00 a month

Get a water meter fitted

Cancel the gym, join a running group for the socials

Get a lower sim only, use a comparison site

Can you share TV subscriptions with someone else to cut the cost?

Your shopping, meal plan and you will be able to bring that down, I do all my shopping in aldi and can get it down to around £50 a week.

Does your Ex earn much more than you? I know you do 50/50 but if he is on a much higher wage and he knows of your struggles maybe he could help you out a bit? Even if its like £25 a week or something, or pay for something for you

If the children are with their father 3/4 nights a week, what about babysitting? Or pub work if you’re not exhausted from your FT job.
Agree that any extracurricular activities need to be agreed and paid for 50/50 too.

I appreciate you and ex are 50/50 but are you sharing 50% of everything- uniform, school dinners, childcare , clothes etc? The main parent can still claim maintenance if they cover all child’s costs

Get a PAYG mobile contract, you can at least half that. Cancel gym and vet subscription. Unfortunately pets can cost a huge amount and are a luxury really. If this was a family pet, is your H paying half?

If you're good at concentrating and following instructions, and have no addiction worries, I'd suggest matched betting. Sites like Oddsmonkey and Outplayed talk you through step by step and have two week free trial, the profit you make from that first couple of weeks makes your first months subscription and then the profit starts to grow a tad. It's quicker the bigger the pot you have at the start but you can start from £40, so-it's doable for most budgets. It won't make you millions but I've been doing it a few years now and even after being gubbed by some bookies so not being able to access their offers, I make from £100 a month, which would help a low budget a lot.

All of our childcare costs are split 50/50 he is very good like that, yes he earns significantly more than me but I don't want to tarnish the amicable relationship we have built by asking him for money - it feels grabby.

We live on a quiet estate and he seldom ventures off our garden, however if something like that did happen we would sadly have to accept that euthanasia would be the only reasonable option.

This is often kinder for the animal anyway if seriously ill or injured.

I do have a savings account for emergencies but this is to cover whatever comes up rather than paying a regular monthly fee to insure against one possibility when the chances are that thing won't happen, but other unforeseen expenses will.

Dont stop pet insurance

do change phones. I was with o2 and paying £27 a month for 20yrs +

i swapped to LEBARA who is vodaphone and pay 2.40 a month for 6mths then goes to £6.90 plus got £25 amazon voucher

I can cancel anytime it’s a monthly contract so I may cancel it a then get another £2/3 a month deal once it goes up to £7 a month

that’s for 35GB which I never use

prob cheaper ones for 10gb

referral code which we both get money off if you want to use it

https://aklam.io/5ZhF1rQ6

i wish I swapped years ago but scared leaving o2 to go to unknown but they are fab A

My suggestions are:

If your pet is a dog, join dogs trust. Its £25 a year, and includes insurance if the dog causes damage/harm to another dog. For example damage to a car in the road. Also look at joining PDSA, as you are on UC you can get support with emergency vets and telephone advice. You need to do this before there's a need for a vet.

I use the Money Helper Budgeting tool, which helps with budgeting for car repairs, christmas, school uniforms. I used to have separate accounts to save for uniforms, car repairs etc, christmas & birthdays.

I had National Trust single parent membership when my children were little. It includes 4 children, so we were able to take their friends/niece and nephew. With picnics we had cheap days out. There are often summer, easter and Christmas events. We also stopped at NT places instead of services on long journeys.

Definitely look at the water bills to get this reduced.

Social Tariff for broadband. Cancel TV, and when you have paid of the credit card, look at having it again.

Check your tax code : do you wear a uniform? Pay subscriptions professional subscription, every little bit helps. Definitely keep paying into your pension.

Use Topcashback whe you are online shopping. I used to get about £100 a year, which I used at Christmas for the kids.

How old and how many children?

Are you claiming the childcare costs from Universal Credit?

You should consider whether it is better for you to pay all of the costs of childcare and claim this back via universal credit. And then your ex husband can instead pay you child maintenance.

They are 5 and 10, my sons birthday is this month with a church hall and entertainment booked. I need to go halves with his dad for this and also contribute towards food, party decorations, cake etc. I would sell the shirt off my back for my son and he is so excited for his birthday but the stress of finding the money is getting to me.

Could you explain how tight things are to your ex and ask if he could pay now and you pay him back in April when the council tax reduces? Make it clear you aren't asking for money, just some breathing space?

I would be cancelling the gym and tv costs in a hot second. Also Vet cost and probably rehoming the pet. My children are more important!

Did you leave him? Is this why you seem to feel so guilty/ passive/ submissive regards to money?

If your credit card debt involves interest, switch to a 0% card if you can.
It would also be worth looking at potential savings from switching to a water meter

yes I did