If you were in my shoes, how would you get yourself out of this ?

[Hillomjs12]

Looking for some advice because I am going through a rough patch financially and I am worried my debt is going to increase to just make ends meet!

Since my separation I have been lucky to secure a small terraced for me and my children. I am however coming to the realisation that the cost of living as a single parent is not only difficult it is becoming increasingly evident that I cannot continue living off so little. I co-parent with EXH 50/50 so not liable for any child maintenance and quite rightly, so he has them his fair share of time. I receive some UC and child benefit, but this gets swallowed up with bills, petrol, food etc.

I have no savings and my son’s birthday / MOT coming up next month. Every time I try to make an overpayment on my credit card it gets swallowed up a few days down the line when I have nothing left in the bank. I am going to break this down and would appreciate any advice on how I can increase my surplus money.

Take home £1900
UC + CB = £480
Mortgage: £720
Utilities: £150
Water: £77 (no meter)
Council Tax: £220 ( this will reduce to £120 in April)
TV + broadband: £35
Mobile: £17
Gym: £26
Car: £160 (pcp)
Car tax and insurance:£55
Vet subscription: £19
Loan: £100 (family member lent me money for necessary home repairs)
Credit Card: £40 ( I owe £1,600)
Food: £350
Petrol: £100
Klarna: £39 (Two payments left from Christmas presents for DC)

If my calculations are correct, I am normally left with £68 a week to live off after all bills have been deducted. But with this I need to use it to pay for DC activities, clothes, and upcoming birthdays, general life. I work a Band 4 NHS operations role so think I need to start looking for a better paid job role. How can I realistically improve my life financially because I cannot continue living like this?

Thank you for your help ✍

I have never taken on debt for anything. It's true my Dad would have found me the money for essential house repairs and I'd have paid that back, but things like DC presents and activities, if we can't afford them, we can't have them.

In your current circumstances, I'd have a word with the relative and see if we can take a break until the Klana (and possibly the credit card) is repaid, and I'd make sure to never borrow again - it's a vicious circle.

But, yes the most important is to earn more.

When I was hit by a disaster that threatened real financial hardship, I had a good clear out and sold a load of stuff on Ebay. It was amazing what people would pay for and made me feel like I was "doing" something.

Are you paying council tax over 10 months or 12? If 10 you won’t have payments this month or next which will give a bit of wiggle room.

How many children and what ages? That will affect your food costs, how much driving you’re doing etc. I’d look to price compare everything from insurances, pet cover, phone and broadband costs - even £5 off each will start to add up. I have an “austerity” menu when I’m having a very tight month, basically rice/pasta dishes, frozen fruit and veggies and the same breakfast daily. Not fun but I can bring food costs down significantly and for a month or so it’s ok.

A working mum should be able to provide her DC with activities Internet and TV as well as have some luxuries for themselves. If wages were in line with cost of living, there wouldn't be a need for so many working people to claim UC.

@JLou08 but this working mum has also chosen to have a PCP deal, and is in debt to her family and a credit card.

Any chance the dc's dad would take on more of the cost of activities, clothes, shoes, haircuts etc? Or at least go halves.

Given she’s recently separated the PCP etc may predate her current circumstances. It must be marvellous to never have plans change or be caught out.

I know you have 50/50 care so no maintenance but is your ex able to help out more with kid related costs: haircuts, activities, clothes etc.

For birthdays and Christmas look at charity shops and Vinted, or if the kids are old enough, be honest with them that things are tight. It’s important life learning for them that they can’t always have everything they want.

Social tariff for broadband- Bt do one for £20 a month.
look into low income schemes for your water.
As you’re on a mortgage you don’t get any housing help through UC but your work allowance is higher. Can you do any bank work through NHS on the weeks your son is with his dad?

Do you fairly split your son’s expenses or are you paying more?

April will be better. Try not to worry OP. Also:

Ask family member if you could pay a bit less per month, for longer.

Swap gym for YouTube workout or running.

Apply for a promotion within the NHS if you think you’re suited.

Online surveys are a source of extra income but it won’t be much. I get £50 twice a year from YouGov.

take home £1900
UC + CB = £480

Toal income £2.380

Mortgage: £720
Utilities: £150
Water: £77 (no meter) with two teens in the house my water was £50 a month, is it worth changing as £20 per month would be helpful

Council Tax: £220 ( this will reduce to £120 in April)
Once your council tax reduces you could pay the £100 of the credit card debit - so paying £140 a month, you've got used to not having that money, also add to that the klarn money and it would mean youre paying off £180 each month which would make a serious dent in that credit card debt - is it on 0`% interest? 10 months time and you could be clear of the cc debt - ultimately that would then give you an extra £180 per month

TV + broadband: £35
Mobile: £17
can you reduce either of these?
Gym: £26 how often do you actually attend? once a week or 5 x a week?

Car: £160 (pcp)
Car tax and insurance:£55
Petrol: £100
£315 is a drain on your finances, can you reduce this - after your mortgage its your biggest expensive other than food

Vet subscription: £19

Loan: £100 (family member lent me money for necessary home repairs)
Credit Card: £40 ( I owe £1,600)
Klarna: £39 (Two payments left from Christmas presents for DC)

£180 in debt, but the £40 each month isn't covering the debt just the interest

Food: £350 this a really economical amount if its really £350 a month and not creeping up to more each month, for a family of 3 and pet food

can you do bank shifts with NHS?
Looking for a better paid job would be good

To start with, stop putting things on credit card or using Klarna. Unless absolutely essential like the roof is falling in then just don’t spend it. Your DCs don’t need lots for birthdays or Christmas, try charity shops and Vinted for presents for a couple of years until you are good financially and have an emergency fund saved up. Get kids to pick one activity each. You don’t need a gym membership, it’s getting nicer weather so can exercise outside. Then can you increase your income? Extra hours, extra job or better paying job?

Is there any kind of work you can do at home or from home on a cash in hand basis so it does not go into your bank and affect your UC? Cleaning, ironing, shopping for older people, or similar. Or any kind of admin work to do remotely? Do you have anything you can sell on Ebay as a private seller?

if credit card isn’t interest free look around to swap it for one then all the money that you’ll be paying will actually go off the debt and not the interest

I can't get the figure you're left with down to £68

Ive done the calculations twice and after all your present outgoings you are left with £272 per month

That is not a lot of money - but its £204 more than the £68 you are left with after all the bills?

It's 272/4, £68 pw. Which should be reasonably comfortable after everything else is paid? Obviously it means no luxuries until the debts are cleared/income increases, but I don't think it's a desperate situation.

Can you get a second job? A few hours in the morning, evening or weekend, or do more hours at work? I guess that will impact your benefits, but I think raising your income, somehow, is a must.

Actually it's 272 x 12 / 52. £62.77. Therein lies part of the problem. The op is over a fiver short before she starts.

I really appreciate your input and advice. I have made a list of things I can adjust to make things a bit more balanced. I am going to request a water meter as its only me and two young DC here who only live with me 50% of the time. I have a few bits I can put on Vinted later so that money can go towards a birthday present for my son.

Gym – I will cancel this once the evenings get lighter. At the moment I am a bit lonely in the evenings so going to gym helps keep me occupied and also helps my mental health massively. My account is with Pure Gym but might swap to an Off-Peak tarrif.

If I am being honest my budgeting is loose and something I need to take more seriously.

In terms of extra income I will look to apply for a better paid role, I also can take NHSP shifts but these a very few and far between and it also cancels out any UC I get so I am worse off the next month.

For things to keep you occupied outside of the house, in addition to seeing friends, how about: free talks and events, meetup groups, cheap night at the cinema (if it has one), cheap concerts (my local uni orchestra does them), dating (ho ho), PAYG gym classes/swims.

I belong to a local social group that's only £9 per month and has loads of free gatherings. When it's at a bar/pub I have a cheap soft drink, no one notices.

Got to keep your spirits up!

Edit: book group? start a netball/badminton/rambling group? potluck dinners where everyone brings something? I'm on a roll now. It's not even what you asked for

Budgeting properly really is the key to success…I know it’s totally boring and adult-y but it’s so worthwhile.

Use whatever method you’re comfortable with, an app, spreadsheet, good ol’ paper and pen…and track every single penny.

@Hillomjs12 btw - well done for separating from an unhappy relationship when your dc are small and being civilised about 50/50.

Could you join a church. When ours were small they loved sunday school and playimg with theor friends while adults had coffee. It's also a supportive community: choir, bell ringing, nice people, helps make new friends. Nation Women's Register, Book Club, local litter picking group for camaraderie?

Just thinking is there a particular exercise or sport you are into?
E.g if you like running join a running club.
The town where my DB & SIL lives has a netball club, archery club, running club & tennis club & then there's the leisure centre with pool, mens/womens/childrens football & bowling & ten pin bowling clubs too.

Depending on which activity you do, it might work out cheaper than the gym plus there's the social side?

Lots of good suggestions by pp especially the water meter & social broadband tariff.

If the vet subscription actually covers the yearly cost of vax plus flea/worm treatments then keep it plus a free check up & other stuff then keep it!

Write down everything you buy or spend money on for a month & you'll soon see where money is being frittered.

It's not easy being the sole breadwinner but you are doing a good job!

Thank you so much that means a lot. Me and their dad are very amicable we just were not right for each other in the end. I think we do an amazing job at co-parenting but this is a hurdle I face alone. I will research in my local area other activities, I wouldn't mind art classes or anything to socialise with people.

thank you Topplace - I had got the time frame wrong!

OP if the gym is something you enjoy it really shouldn't be counted as a luxury and you need some type of health and entertainment and mental health care wrapped into one - if you're paying out £315 for the car, surely £26 for the gym is ok

Id second sticking to a strict budget for the next 10 months

I would also suggest putting £50 a month away for xmas/emergency saving pot and £20 for birthday present

although this takes away from your monthly budget - you know when you get to xmas you have some money tucked away and a party or birthday can be covered from another pot

pots in bank accounts are really useful for this type of budgeting, and set up a standing order to pay those pots monthly so you don't forget.

Also remember you'll have an increment rise at work - is that April?

Intrigued about your super low grocery budget. Also have 2 teens. Would you mind giving examples of meals?