If you were in my shoes, how would you get yourself out of this ?

[Hillomjs12]

Looking for some advice because I am going through a rough patch financially and I am worried my debt is going to increase to just make ends meet!

Since my separation I have been lucky to secure a small terraced for me and my children. I am however coming to the realisation that the cost of living as a single parent is not only difficult it is becoming increasingly evident that I cannot continue living off so little. I co-parent with EXH 50/50 so not liable for any child maintenance and quite rightly, so he has them his fair share of time. I receive some UC and child benefit, but this gets swallowed up with bills, petrol, food etc.

I have no savings and my son’s birthday / MOT coming up next month. Every time I try to make an overpayment on my credit card it gets swallowed up a few days down the line when I have nothing left in the bank. I am going to break this down and would appreciate any advice on how I can increase my surplus money.

Take home £1900
UC + CB = £480
Mortgage: £720
Utilities: £150
Water: £77 (no meter)
Council Tax: £220 ( this will reduce to £120 in April)
TV + broadband: £35
Mobile: £17
Gym: £26
Car: £160 (pcp)
Car tax and insurance:£55
Vet subscription: £19
Loan: £100 (family member lent me money for necessary home repairs)
Credit Card: £40 ( I owe £1,600)
Food: £350
Petrol: £100
Klarna: £39 (Two payments left from Christmas presents for DC)

If my calculations are correct, I am normally left with £68 a week to live off after all bills have been deducted. But with this I need to use it to pay for DC activities, clothes, and upcoming birthdays, general life. I work a Band 4 NHS operations role so think I need to start looking for a better paid job role. How can I realistically improve my life financially because I cannot continue living like this?

Thank you for your help ✍

you might want to look at some online people that are doing 5 meals for £25, there was one last week being done and it was a single mum and her 3 teenagers 5 meals from M&S for £20

try "this mum cooks" they are on the 3 largest social media pages

Wow.

assuming no meat at all ?

but yes I wondered how the poster fed basically 3 adults

Chicken and sausages were on the menu, can't recall any other meat. They did mention it would have been cheaper but they purchased high meat quality sausages instead of cheap sausages.

• Day 1: Toad in the Hole with roast potatoes and peas.
• Day 2: Simple Chicken Curry with rice and flatbreads.
• Day 3: Chicken and Vegetable Egg Fried Rice.
• Day 4: Tuna Frittata, chips, and peas.
• Day 5: Broccoli and Garlic Spaghetti.

By doing online shops every 10 days and not topping up between, so no impulse buying. Freezing milk, bread, fruit and veg etc. Buying big bags of pasta and rice. Bulking out meals. Small amounts of meat. 2 extra low cost meals eg jacket potato and beans, omelette and homemade chips with peas every 10 days. Meals we eat alot are basic currys with chicken and vegetables, homemade veg soups, beans/egg/tomatoes on toast, pasta and sauce, chilli (or vegi bean chilli), Shepherd's pie, homemade savoury rice, sausage and mash, bourito etc. Mostly cooked from scratch and using basic ingredients, the cheapest brands (unfortunately I can't have the moral high ground and go for the best welfare and feed my dc). I buy when things are on offer. Meal plan every meal.
It gets easier once you get onto a rolling meal plan and you batch cook. So last week I made a pot of chilli which we eat every Saturday night and there was enough for 4 weeks from one 500g mince (because I add extra beans, tomatoes, veg) so I dont need to think about Saturday meal for 4 weeks. This week I've made 4 weeks of chicken and vegetable curry so thats 4 Wednesday done each week I'll do 1-2 big batches of something so not buying lots of ingredients at once. I also buy an extra tin or two when I come under my £70 spend so that when dc are at home in the holidays and eating more (why does that happen?) I've got the extras for them. My shopping bill has gone up over the last 6 years (even though I have one less mouth to feed) but I've kept it as low as I possibly can. It does get a bit samey and I do mix up the menu from time to time. But needs must.

Thank you. Looks nice tho I love tuna not sure mini blondes would eat 4&5

Cancel the gym and work out from home.

Get a water meter.

Get a second job that you can do when DC are with their dad.

She’d likely spend more on public transport than that if she got rid of it… she’s only spending £315 a month on car+petrol+insurance. Public transport isn’t cheap anymore. I spend £160 a month going into the city a couple of times a week and DH spends £200. And that’s just for work for a few days. OP is NHS so likely needs to be on site every day and may have to drop kids off at schools - for 3 of them to get buses and trains 25days out of 30 would cost £400+ a month.

If you can't get a water meter there are still ways of reducing the cost. See here for a list https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/utilities/cut-water-bills/#meter

Can you move to a social tariff for your broadband? You should qualify.

Haven’t read the whole thread, so sorry if this has already been suggested.

Register for cash back sites, Top Cashback & Quidco
are you eligible for a Blue Light Card?

Botox

Water. Do you qualify for any social tariffs. Do you have any Medicals conditions in the household.

The car. What’s the plan once the PCP period comes to an end.

TV and broadband. Are you in contract? BT social tarrif for broadband. About £25 per month.

Mobile. Look at sim only deals. £10 with plus net I used to get loads of data ( 100GB) and unlimited calls and texts.

Your costs are low. It’s your debts that are taking up a lot of your budget but they aren’t huge debts. Is that credit card on a 0%.

when you are above to start saving look to help to save account.

As someone mentioned This MumCooks does a lot of feed a family of 4 from M and S for £20. There is also Hollieandlife who did frugle January but is now doing frugle 2026 and spends £50 a week in shopping and then £100 a month at costco for a family of 4 children and 1 adult.

Dump the gym and join a running club or the local military fitness. People are local and much more likely to chat.

I'd also go through the bank statement and check everything that is going out. Diarise when anything can change contract. Check everything now.

Look at % balance transfers.

Get Ynab. It will change your life as you budget. It's absolutely brilliant.

Meal plan, write down your shopping list. Stick to it. Really spend time working out your food shop. If the kids aren't there a couple of nights, then just have an omelette.

Definitely see what band 5 roles are available and see if there is any career coaching or mentoring available in your trust.

Are you claiming single person discount on Council Tax?

Is your buildings and contents insurance in with Utilities?

Your food bill looks quite high, if the kids are at their Dad’s half the time?

Is there any possibility you could do a shift in a pub on the nights the kids are with Dad?

It’s tough, OP, and you are doing a great job getting through.

Wrong thread?

Do you need a car? Plenty of people myself included don't have one. Could you walk, bike or use public transport instead?

Vet subscription - these are often a rip off that emotionally blackmail people who love their pets. If you are on a low income/benefits you can use the PDSA vet if/when your pet is sick. Most dogs and cats are very hardy and you aren't spending this on private health insurance for yourself or your kids. I don't pay insurance for my cat and he is just fine.

Is there a local food pantry near you? I volunteer at one and get to take a bag home free. For members it is £2 to join and £3 for a weekly "shop" of approx 10 items including usually meat.

I’d cut out the gym
for a bit and exercise at home, and I’d cancel the pet insurance. That’s £45 extra per month easily saved.

Nope I have 2 nurse friends who have gone into Botox , They are earning ££££

If you have an iPhone or Apple watch you can get Apple fitness for £9.99 a month, I exercise most days in my lounge with dumbells and a mat. They have running/walking work outs too if you run.
It's a good mix of exercise similar to using the gym but much cheaper obvs and less reliant on the weather

I really wouldn’t cancel the pet insurance! I’ve seen many people get into further debt to deal with vet bills. PDSA should not be relied upon as part of responsible pet ownership.

@Charliede1182
I don't pay insurance for my cat and he is just fine

Until he isn't. What happens if he gets but by a car & needs a couple of grand of treatment?
I can understand weighing up the costs of a bet subscription vs paying for flea/worming/vaccinations separately but insurance should be a n no brainer unless you've got lots of savings