Can't save- need ideas!

[7catsforthewin]

Hi there,

So a bit about our situation: we have a mortgage of £185k on a £400k house (worth more now).
Collectively my husband and I earn around £78k with me working part time. Have 2 kids aged 8 and 3 so £300 on nursery fees each month. We have pets so insurance, treatments etc amounts to £400 a month (two are very old!).
We have £10k in easy access savings account and children have £20k each in ISAs from inheritance but each month we just dip in and next month pay it back up!

I'm just not sure how we aren't able to save. We do two cheap UK holidays a year (one a long weekend). Food is extortionate especially feeding our two kids with multiple allergies.

Just feeling like a failure that we aren't able to save and so many of our peers go on multiple abroad holidays and seem to be able to save large amounts each month (we live in south east where many commute to London). I am thankful that my work means no after school or before school wrap around care is needed and we have no other debts apart from mortgage but I worry £10k can be wiped out very quickly.

Any tips???

Putting an animal through a lot of veterinary treatment isn't always the kindest thing to do. It's painful and stressful and it's not like they know anything about what's going to happen or have feelings about after they are gone if it comes to that.

Plus when you have multiple pets I agree that self insurance, ie saving the cost of pet insurance and earmarking it for veterinary treatment will almost certainly be financially the best thing to do. I've been in two minds about this with our own brood and we've only really kept up with insurance because two of our cats are on a very cheap 'fixed for life' policy that is no longer available but was an opening offer when Many Pets (previously Bought by Many) started up. Theirs is only £10 a month each. We have another three that cost £10-20 each for various reasons based on age and the fact that one is semi feral and is never going to be co-operative with ongoing visits to the vets, so we just have a basic policy for her in case she survives a road accident or similar so it will pay for an operation or two but won't cover endless scans or life extending cancer treatment - if that happens we will see what she will tolerate and see what the policy covers but it might be time to let her go.

Likewise we have an 18 YO who's no longer insured because it was over £500 a year for her alone and that's with a high excess and 20% co-pay. She has a vet phobia and is very unco-operative and stressed when she goes for her booster so definitely won't let the vet examine her or take ongoing medicine.

OP you could look at shopping around but that isn't always possible if any of your cats have pre-existing conditions, but I think Many Pets do cover these, after a qualifying period of a few weeks or so - might be worth checking them out, especially as they have good multipet discounts. We've always found them very fair with paying out, although not all their policies cover dental treatment, which is something that cats often need.

But on the rest of your costs, you need to carry out a good review of your bills to make sure you're getting the best price and not paying for subscriptions you don't use. Also work out where your disposable income is going - many people who feel like they're not saving as much as they should be able to are often spending more than they realise day to day, so assuming you mostly spend on card, you could download all your transactions for 2025 to categorise and see where your money is really going. Or most bank accounts and credit cards now give you this info within online banking.

This can really be worth doing, because, while you might think it's not worth it for a few quid here and there, cut a few bills and reduce a bit of spending and the savings can really add up, and it's all an increase in the amount of spare money you have to save. Have a look at:

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

Are you already making the most of Blue Light Card and Health Service Discounts as NHS workers? It’s worth a search every time you buy something and there are discounts on services like gyms too-I don’t know about pet insurance.

If you have space and focus you can replace a gym membership with a second hand exercise bike or similar and weights from marketplace.

A few thoughts. Do a budget - income and all set outgoings / bills incl. food & petrol. Use a list like in MSE. What is left per month for everything else, including savings? Trim down non essentials and save all of that. What you have left is it for the month. Jot that amount down and also write down when either of you buy or spend something- from coffee & takeaways to present spending etc etc. Everything has to be accounted for. It soon helps to you realise your priorities.

We never had insurance for cats, only dogs. When our dog insurance hit £220 per month for no reason we changed to a researched for £48 where we pay the first 20% - plus triple cashback, from MoneySupermarket, from the insuer & from Quidco. Batch cook snacks & freeze. Where do you shop? It's not cost-effective to shop all in one place. Know your prices and get the things you use a lot when on offer. Use the loyalty apps to your advantage. Buy seasonal & on offer and plan meals around that - both Sains & Morris have fab fruit / veg offers at the mo. Same with Xmas & Easter veg prices, the freezer is your friend.

Use MoneySavingExpert, HotzuKDeals (great for holidays) and the Trolley App.

Random (for example), if you have a dishwasher, break the tablets in half!

I dont see anyone saying that, they just highlight not spending lots of money on an animal that is suffering and at the end of its life. The OP asked a question so is getting responses. I have seen people spend 10's of tousands on very unwell animals that were suffering and in pain and then PTS. Just so incredibly sad for both the humans and animals as ultimately both suffered and the animals had an unleasant death and the humans were utterly distraght and guilt ridden.

Change your pet insurance. Petplan are extortionate and I assume you’re aware there’s a clause that they will reduce payment for older cats even though you’re paying through the nose on premiums. I got caught out by this when my older cat had some treatment and then had to be pts. They only paid out about 50% of the claim as she was 13.

On pay day wtite a list of your bills each month including food shopping. Then straight away put a set amount into savings. Work out what's left for general spends and divide this by the number of days until next pay day to give you a daily amount of spending money. If you don't spend 1 day it rolls to the next. It stops you overspending and digging into saving as you can instantly see how much money you have.

Look, you've got a good lifestyle, a house, pets and children plus savings in the bank. Enough maybe?

Our income is very similar to yours - £70k between us plus child benefit. We have 4 kids but the reason we don't save is cos I'm a twat with money. The second I've got £1k in accessible savings I'm like "Oh let's spunk it on going to see Harry Styles" at ONE THOUSAND FUCKING QUID.

I didn't used to be like this. We have £100k in locked away savings and good pensions etc. from before. But since Covid and the cost of living crisis I just don't see the point in saving. I think if I'm honest I'm a bit depressed / overwhelmed with life and booking a trip or buying a gadget is a dopamine thrill and makes the stress feel a bit more worthwhile. I think if people were more honest they'd see that this is actually what's behind a lot of "lifestyle creep"...

It would be very interesting for you to track your spending over a couple of months and see if there's a similar pattern for you.

Your peers won’t be spending £5k per year on pet insurance and more on pet food, or / and their kids are school age and if both parents are working then both will be working full-time. It’s no big mystery. With a mortgage on a house in the south east, two kids, those pet costs and a £78k household income, I can understand why you’re dipping into that tiny savings pot so I don’t think tweaking your food budget and dropping the odd subscription is going to make much difference. I would shop around for cheaper insurance and look for a better paid part-time job.

The craziness of the times is the extravagance people will stretch to for pets when they are barely able to feed their children! Crazy!

You spend more on pet insurance than we do on holidays in a year. You need to accept that you pets are your “luxury item” in lieu of holidays.

Having Pet insurance gives your animals the best chance of having any pain treated quickly.

Thanks everyone for your input. Lots of food for thought. Our oldest won't go on a plane etc due to anxiety so no big holiday plans anytime soon. We love our English holiday anyway. He genuinely spends half his holiday sad about missing his pets (parents house sit for us when away happily which we are so lucky to have).

I have ADHD so the dopamine chase is real and I definitely need to track that more.

I will update you if we manage anything differently and it works! Sadly NHS pay isn't great but I don't agree with private work on a moral basis ATM (this may change depending how desperate I get!)

Why not increase your work hours? It will increase your childcare costs, but with tax free childcare you would hopefully still be better off?

I wouldnt be spending that money on pets, it is madness. If you cancel the insurance open 2 regular saver accounts (maybe 1 for you and one for OH) and split the money across them - they are capped at a certain amount each month (usually £200, some £250l), but pay high interest (some are 6.5%) then at the end of the 12 months transfer it to your ISA.

If you get groceries delivered shop every 4 days or so, cuts down on spending in higher cost convenience stores in between weekly shops, and I find I have much less waste.

Looks at interest free payment plans/credit cards for any bigger purchases rather than dipping in to savings but make sure you clear them before interest is charged.

Tips

Note down everything you spend for a week, a fortnight or a month. How many take away coffees and how much they cost, take away food, and cost, macdonalds, cost every single penny and what it is spent on in a note book - or even a spread sheet

sit and do a budget plan https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/debt-and-money/budgeting1/work-out-your-budget/. great thing is at the end it will show you the categories as a pie chart - scary stuff

Pay yourself at the beginning of the month - put money into an easy access savings account earning interest as best as you can find - Coventry do an ISA with easy ish access and some other places - trading 212

saving needs to be worked at, as does getting decentish interest - it doesn't just happen

Look on TikTok for monthly budget shops feeding a family of 4 for £200/£300/£400 a month and eating really well, making home made snacks, picnic lunches and really good evening meals. Planning, spending time planning so you save the money - its easy for grocery shopping to reach £150 main shop and £100 top up shop a week, so you think you're spending £600 a month but really its £1000

take every single utility and shop around, take any money back that is in credit after a meter reading

take a second job or get a side hustle

I've got a friend who has a very lovely house with an annex and she rents it out on a Monday to Friday basis - it brings in £500 a month which is tax free as the limit if £7000 approx. They brought a house in Portugal after doing this for 20 years

Hiya, no one has mentioned it but I think some of this is the company you keep. You are in all regards doing well financially. You have a child in nursery which is financially crippling so please don't beat yourself up.

You said that you live around a lot of London commuters. That sounds like higher pay and bonuses to me. All of my friends with those sort of jobs are paying for the holidays and paying off the credit cards from their bonuses and not doing much saving except pensions month to month. They are paying their bills and going out on credit cards if needed once a month knowing that a lump sum is inbound to clear it. I also know that the people I know only put money in savings and investments from their bonuses rather than from their monthly income. About 50% of them have interest only mortgages and own about 10% of their property if that. You own morethan 50% of yours. I'd take that security over a holiday any day.

Those are the 'nice bits' that you are seeing. All of which are tricky in your chosen professions and some of their decisions could fall down around them. You are in a fantastic place, it's just that having over 50% equity in your house and 50k in savings is not as pretty on Instagram as a sandy beach!

Short of moving to the private sector or taking on extra work (perhaps a shift in a pub once a week), I think the option is to look at outgoings or try and be comfortable knowing that in 18 months, there will be more wiggle room because of the nursery fees!! Please give yourself a pat on the back. In this climate, you are in an amazing place!

Well said. Savvy is boring but you’re playing the long game and you will win.

This.