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Original poster

Husband £50k secret debt - what to do

105 replies

Jolt24 · 18/12/2025 20:40

i have recently found out my husband has hidden 48k£ of debt in just a few years - we have two young children. for him it has jsit been over spending i am talking £25 on lunches each day and ridiculous secret spending on clothing and goods - pure greed - our family holiday this year i paid for as he was struggling to pay yet £500 on watches!
for me it is not the total it is the lying and deceit - the selfishness to be spending on himself when we have two boys and j was recently tail end of maternity leave.
i almost wish it was for a gambling or drug addiction as oppsoe to selfish spending on hkmself.
i love my husband dearly and we were so so happy i feel like this has completely shattered me and our trust. I dont know if this is normal to conrinue the marriage
please let me know how you are navigating things

OP posts:

Whatwouldnanado · 19/12/2025 18:56

No trust. No respect and he has valued the material crap more than you your marriage and your kids. There will be some psychological reason for it, compensating for something but that is not your problem. Get very practical. Proverbial ducks in a row, ringfence your own money and get rid. Good luck. You deserve better than this.

Hollyhobbi · 19/12/2025 22:14

DreadingWinter · 19/12/2025 17:16

I threw my ex husband out when the bailiffs arrived on my doorstep. I'm so glad I did although life was hard on my own.

He died recently and left around £250,000 of debt. Luckily it's his current wife's problem.

Once this happens it won't stop. Sorry OP.

I had the bailiffs arrive too. Only I wasn't actually at home. It was my sister and her then boyfriend who were staying in our house for the weekend and they turned up at 10am on a Saturday morning. One of the final straws that broke the camels back. And standing in the supermarket after doing a big shop before Christmas with then four year old and the joint credit card being rejected at the till! He's an ex husband now.

SleafordSods · 20/12/2025 12:57

How are you this morning @Jolt24?

hattie43 · 21/12/2025 06:33

CautiousLurker2 · 19/12/2025 09:03

Just been on to Barclays - most unsecured loans have a max repayment period of 60months - so the repayments at current rates (7.8%) are about £1000pcm. On Moneysupermarket, assuming you could get a longer period of say 10 years, In the interest would be likely higher at around 14.9% (higher risk) and the payments would be closer to £750pcm. Interest on this latter example would include £40k in interest…

Whatever DH is telling you re having a ‘manageable repayment plan’ is total bollocks.

Show quote history

Not if he’s gone through someone like Stepchange who negotiate with lenders a payment plan for reduced monthly costs according to affordability. They often get interest written off . The downside is his credit history is shot .

Magsbd · 15/01/2026 19:13

See a solicitor asap to see if you can safeguard any assets for yourself.

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