Hello lovely people, I could really do with some help!!
My DD (6) has a disability, her father and I were married but divorced when she was 3. Unfortunately, he was absolutely useless and offered no support, I was caring for 2 children essentially and lost all respect for him, so chose to split. Best decision of my life I feel, my life is much easier now that I am not in a relationship with the lazy git, but I have realised financially, I am fairly screwed?? Please help me to make a plan to not be skint the rest of my life!
Due to my daughter being disabled, she goes to a special school. The school day is 8.45am-2.45pm. There is no wrap around club, no holiday club. At all. Child's father works the most annoying job - a split shift meaning he only works part time (only gives me £100/month child support) and yet can NEVER do a school run. He is still living with family since we split. He also never wants to have her any extra in the holidays. He does have her every Saturday. I am at my wits end because how on earth am I meant to get a job around these hours?? I have been working self employed, trying to run my own small business for the past 3 years but I'm only managing to make £400 a month on average and obviously, not being employed, I'm not getting any paid holiday or pension contributions from an employer. Also my earnings are irregular and this sometimes throws my UC off and some months I am worse off than if I was not working at all - overall there is very little gain. I am 30 and am really starting to panic about retirement. I know it's a long way off, but my daughter may need to live with me through her adult life and I am not sure how I am supposed to work around this. Even if I get a job within the short school day, I am stuck when it comes to the holidays. My parents are unfortunately not in the best health the last couple of years and my siblings live too far away (and work full time anyway) so can't help either.
I don't own my own home either (me and ex-husband were saving to buy but didn't manage it before splitting and all savings went in the divorce essentially), so again am quite worried about what retirement will look like for me. I am currently on universal credit and carer's allowance, while my daughter gets DLA. I am managing month to month, being frugal (don't have a car, cheap rent atm, no subsciptions etc.) but long term, I have no idea what to do. Is this just my life now? I just don't want to accept this is it. I feel like I'm fairly clever/capable and would be more than happy to work, but just feel so stuck. Please help give me some inspiration - even if it's a very long term slow plan! Thank you 🙌🙌