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Original poster

Is this acceptable?

128 replies

Pooraschurchmouse · 22/01/2005 12:54

I am a regular Mner but I have changed my name for this as I am rather ashamed.

Money is very, very tight for us right now, but ds is a popular boy and gets invited to lots of parties (sometimes weekly). When money is more abundant, I would tend to spend £5 on a present or a bit more if I knew the child better or knew specifically what they wanted. The other day, I found Tesco were selling a nice tin of 100 marbles for only 80 something pence. It doesn't look that cheap though. My question is, do you think I could give that as a present to a child who is having a party next week? I do not know who he is at all, let alone his mother, but I am worried she will shop in Tesco and know how cheap my present is. Does that matter? Should I buy something else to go with the marbles? If so, what?

OP posts:

hercules · 23/01/2005 16:07

I would be mortified if someone gave more that they could actually afford. I would be touched though had they carefully thought about what my child wanted. This year ds was bought 2 art sets from his friends as he loves drawing.
i think marbles are a brillian idea and the price is irrelevant to the thought.

I have often given less than what I know ds will be bought back as I have to be careful of money and have friends who can afford to spend a lot more. I dont worry about what they will think as I know they dont mind.

The whole thing of party bags etc gets way out of hand.

noddyholder · 23/01/2005 16:16

trifle the words back and pedalling spring to mind!!

Blossomhill · 23/01/2005 16:20

I think that the reason that you have a party is for your child and there friends to have a nice time.
Ds had a party yesterday and got lots of lovely presents. I don't who got what and how much they cost. It was just nice that everyone came and had a good time!
I must say I do spend about £5, sometimes £10 if they are a good friend. I too make use of the bogof ofers and ToysRus always have lovely things half price.
Just go with what you are comfortable with

JanH · 23/01/2005 16:22

Gosh, that was cutting

(Kanga, )

binkie · 23/01/2005 17:32

To Donbean: yes, clothing is a very good present. I didn't realise it until a couple of dd's little nursery friends gave her pretty tops and she was delighted - and wore them constantly and proudly "xx gave me this!", so it was a genuinely useful present too.

Caligula · 23/01/2005 17:44

Donbean, I'm sure anything with Barbie on it would go down a treat (for little girls!)

My DD got sent a couple of Barbie vests, knickers and socks for Christmas and loves wearing them.

Saves me the bother of buying more as well!

Substitute Thomas/ Superman etc. for boys!

Original poster

Pooraschurchmouse · 23/01/2005 18:14

Yes, Donbean, my son was once given Spiderman socks which I thought was a bit odd maybe, but he wore them a lot despite not even konwing who Spiderman was, and I appreciated not having to buy something else for my son to put on his feet.

As for the idea of giving children money, I cringe from the idea. Well, obviously I would because I am the one trying to get away with an 80p tin of marbles, but that aside, I don't like the idea of giving money as a present. Isn't that what we do to adults when we have no idea at all what to get them? Well, I always gets my BIL a M&S voucher for his b'day - and feel bad about it, but he is hopeless at saying what he would like and I don't know him well enough to just guess. To give a child money suggests you have no idea what they want and can't be bothered to make the effort to find out, neither of which would make me comfortable. And facny having the mother know you "only" gave £3 or £4 when everyone else gave £10. That would be embarrassing.

OP posts:

Hausfrau · 23/01/2005 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

edam · 23/01/2005 19:32

It's like the parable of the widow's mite; if someone who only has £1 gives that pound to charity it is a far bigger and more worthwhile gesture than someone who has hundreds of pounds giving £50. You are giving in proportion to your means. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about that.

Yorkiegirl · 23/01/2005 19:44

Message withdrawn

Yorkiegirl · 23/01/2005 19:44

Message withdrawn

aloha · 23/01/2005 19:49

BTW I love the idea of giving the marbles with a sheet of marble games from the internet. That's a fab present.
My friend has lots of neices (one of which is my stepdaughter!) and I know they aren't rolling in cash, but she gave my stepdaughter a box containing two biscuit cutters tied together with ribbon, and some lovely paper with The Perfect Biscuit Recipe printed out on it in a nice font, all in a little box covered in pretty paper. It can't have cost very much but my stepdaughter absolutely loved it and is old enough to realise the care and attention to detail that went into it (ie she's not a seven year old boy!!) and I think it's great to think of an age and personality-appropriate gift that really doesn't cost much. We all spend far too much on presents anyway - most of which are either not really wanted or excessive. Most of us have too much stuff, including kids.

morningpaper · 23/01/2005 19:49

Pink tat lol! Great idea. I'd really like that for MY birthday!

morningpaper · 23/01/2005 19:49

Biscuit cutter / recipe is an EXCELLENT idea, I might use that myself!

Yorkiegirl · 23/01/2005 19:50

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Pooraschurchmouse · 23/01/2005 20:16

OMG I have just googled marble games to see what things I could download and add to the tin of marbles. Well, all I can say is, you would need a degree to understand the instructions I came across! Try looking at www.inquiry.net/outdoor/spring/marbles/games and click on any of the games at the top of the page to see what I mean!

Menawhile, I will keep looking for something I can understand let alone a 7 year old!

OP posts:

Dior · 23/01/2005 20:24

Message withdrawn

KateandtheGirls · 23/01/2005 20:32

What is tat???

Lonelymum · 23/01/2005 20:33

Tat is cheap rubbish or junk.

weightwatchingwaterwitch · 23/01/2005 20:33

tat is rubbishy stuff katg.

Donbean · 23/01/2005 20:38

Asda "george" and Tesco "cherokee" sale stuff is so very cheap and Matalan also. I got a thick fleece hooded top and pair of boys jeans and a card for £5.25 the other day, fab 1st birthday pressy for my friend little boy.
Im glad that you all think that clothing is a good pressy thanks for the reassurance.

Blossomhill · 23/01/2005 20:39

One of ds's presents was wrapped in brown paper and decorated by his friend. It was a really good idea I thought and ds loved it as his friend had drawn pictures of ds!

JJ · 23/01/2005 21:28

I think marbles are a great gift for a 7 year old (I think that was the age??). At any rate, my son is turning 7 on Wednesday and I can let you know what a hit they are on Thursday, because it's something he would enjoy getting and we have a Tescos nearby.

Thanks for the idea!

galaxy · 23/01/2005 21:34

I'd rather ds was given an 80p bag of marbles on his birthday or nothing at all than the religious video and pamphlet he was given.

tigermoth · 24/01/2005 06:41

just going back to the giving-money-as-a-present idea:

IME, as children get older, getting them presents becomes more difficult. If you do not know the child well, you do not know what they are into( beyblades? pokemon? football? etc etc). Also the average child has had time to accumulate a lot of stuff, so you don't know what they have got already. IME older children really like getting money, but that means the cost of your present is obvious.

My preferred solution is to give something small and cheap, and also put a little money in the birthday card, so the recipient still can't calculate the exact cost of everything. Recently my ds was invited to a an 11 year old party. Two boys were celebrating their birthdays. I gave each boy some sports bodywash and a magnetic dartboard (£1.00 each item) and £2.50 each in their cards.

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