Both work and we claim UC but still can't afford to live.

[Mocha1]

We have 3 kids, 2 who aren't at school yet, my husband and I both work 30 hours a week for charities so not highly paid. We also have childcare for part of the week and then juggle the kids between us the rest of the time (We don't want to work more as we dont want the kids in fulltime childcare). We rent and down't own. We claim UC but we are still really struggling to make ends meet. We really try to live to a tight budget but I have no idea how to lower our expenses any more.

Am I missing something? Is this normal? does anyone have any tips for saving money/ making more income somehow? I feel a bit at a loss as we keep dipping into our savings for just day to day expenses and we're nearly at the end of those.

Our income at the moment (I'm on MAT leave) - £3980
Outgoings- £4250

Do these outgoings seem like a lot for a family of 5 living in the south west? I've been going over our budget and I have no idea how to save any more unless we literally never bought another birthday present or went to a soft play ever again.

Yes I think you’ve put this really well. And the problem for the really poor is that benefits are not quite enough. The OP and her partner are capable of bringing in more income. They just don’t want to.

No one (usually women) should be trapped at home unable to work due to high childcare costs so it makes perfect sense that some working parents are helped with that.

The same can't be said about those who refuse to work full time, claim UC and still complain it isn't enough.

OK, I'll try to explain it so a five year old could understand.

The government needs people to work and pay taxes.

If people with young children can't work, they can't pay taxes.

If people with young children can't afford childcare, they can't work, which means they can't pay taxes.

So if you want people with young children to work and pay taxes, you have to make sure affordable childcare is available to them. That means you either need to regulate the cost of childcare, or give people financial assistance to help pay for it.

There's no need for any judgment here. OP's problems are the result of making several expensive (as in, carrying negative financial implications) choices.

• Working for charities is probably going to exclude high salaries, bonuses, and perks
• Working 30 hours a week versus 40, to be able to do your own childcare. is probably costing £1k per month at minimum wage.
• Having 3 children is always going to cost more than 2, especially with the child benefit cap (grrr).

I actually think that all of those are admirable choices. But they are all inherently expensive. If someone came here and said "We choose to have two large recent cars for safety and we shop at Waitrose because we won't compromise on quality, but I don't understand why we're down every month", we would say it's the result of those choices.

OP can't go back on the third child (and to criticise her for that is unhelpful and ultimately absurd — and we need more children with an aging population!), but she and her DP can choose to change the other circumstances. Unless it turns out that they have a silly monthly bill that they haven't told us about, that's the root of the problem. It's just arithmetic. The economy is set up so that to have a "birthday presents and soft-play" lifestyle, with 3 children, you need to have more money coming in than OP has, full stop.

And she got realistic answers, explaining that she is naive and entitled and both her and her partner need to get full time jobs, to support the three children they chose to have. She said she didn't understand why her finances weren't adding up. That is why.

Benefits are for those in need.

More like because all the judgemental and nasty folk decided to pile on.

Exactly this. Where I live the cost of childcare depends on how much you earn. Everybody gets some level of subsidy depending on their level of income. Even those on the highest incomes get some subsidy. Those on the lowest incomes get practically free childcare.

i understand perfectly thank you. I have no objection to childcare costs being regulated but I do object to the government giving financial assistance to pay for childcare.

Right but they shouldn't be! I am a huge advocate for people having access to benefits that they need but they do not need this. They are actively choosing to work part time, when neither of them need to due to a health issue, so this is just the rest of us mugs supporting them getting to be part time, while we have to send our kids to nursery and work full time. That isn't fair and it's blatantly taking advantage of the system. It is there to support people that actually need it - not entitled crunchy parents that want to work part time and not support their own effing kids. It's a joke.

Regulating childcare costs in such a way as to bring them down to an affordable level would also require some level of subsidy, you understand that, right?

What decent human being would want to be on benefits if there were an alternative. Do you not understand that it is wrong.

There is a huge difference between asylum seekers receiving tiny amounts of benefits to survive, while they wait to be naturalised, and random people choosing to work part time and then expecting everyone else to support that for them, when there is no reason they cannot work. Immigrants contribute far more to the system, than they take out. Ridiculously more. People's anger at this entitled woman is not intrinsically linked to racism. I support immigrants and asylum seekers recieving the help they need. I also think this woman and her husband need to work full time and support their own kids because they are gaming the system and that's morally wrong.

What decent human being would judge others for accessing benefits they're entitled to access. Do you not realise that is wrong?

I am honestly so shocked and saddened by the personal attacks I have received on here. I understand some of you may disagree with what we have chosen to prioritise. And you are within your right to make different choices. However, the personal judgments and attacks have been very hurtful.

My husband and I both work 4 days a week we also try and spend as much time as possible with our young children because we believe that is what is best for them.

I agree we need to make some changes to our situation that is why I was m, somewhat naively, reaching out for advice, from what I hoped would be a supportive network of other parents who understand how hard it is to juggle all priorities.

yes we claim UC, but if we both worked full time and our children were in full time childcare the government would also be paying for most of their childcare so we would still be reliant on the state. So how would that help? I do not agree with paying someone else, who the government is funding to look after my children for 5 days a week when I could work and contribute to the economy and also be with my children for part of the week.

I will not be responding to anything further on here. I hope you can please remember that I and other mums who have posted on her are real people. These posts have made the last 24 hours very distressing and I hope that other mums won’t have to go through the ridicule I have

Claiming what you're entitled to isn't 'gaming the system'. HTH

It is if you design your life around maximizing what you can claim. And OP has just popped back in to verify that this is exactly what they are doing.

However, the government needs to do something about the system to make sure that work always pays. Right now, it doesn't.

People should always be financially better off working than they are claiming benefits, otherwise where is the incentive to work?

Again, claiming what you're legally entitled to isn't 'gaming the system'.

The whole benefits system needs an overhaul, pensions included, but for now OP isn't doing anything wrong in terms of entitlement/legalities.

I’m really sorry for your treatment OP. Some of the replies have been foul. Please know that many people out there are in similar situations. I totally agree with your feelings regarding full time childcare and although you might struggle financially it sounds like your children are very lucky to have parents who care about them and are doing their best.

It really is.
"Gaming the system" means deliberately manipulating the rules, procedures, or processes of a system to gain an unfair advantage, exploit loopholes, or achieve personal goals that contradict the system's intended purpose

Thank you. I appreciate the kindness

I agree that it's not ideal for young children to be in full-time childcare, and I wish society was set up in a way that allowed us to manage on one income or part-time hours while our children are of pre-school age — but unfortunately, that's not the reality we live in. I know I'm late to this thread and that it's already been said, but if you've gone through your expenses and can't cut anything further, the only real options are to work more hours or find a better-paid job.

I have two young children, and we’re hoping for a third. My partner works full-time, plus a lot of on-call shifts. I work full-time hours (long days) in one job, which gives me some days at home with the children. I also run a small business on the side, which means I have to start working once they go to bed or during their nap times. Today, I was out working while they were with their dad because needs must — I had tea with them, put them to bed, and now I have admin to do. I’d much rather be able to spend the whole day with them.

I’ve had to work in my own business since my baby was three months old (now nine months), relying on help from grandparents, working weekends, and my partner using annual leave to cover care. I really don’t want to feel irritated by others receiving Universal Credit (and therefore qualifying for additional childcare support), but I can’t help it. I don’t want to be working this hard and paying more tax, only for that money to go into a pot that supports people who choose to work fewer hours so they can stay at home with their children.
I’ve no issue with Universal Credit for people working full-time on a low wage — but it seems mad that someone can choose to work part-time and still be topped up by UC off the backs of people who also have young children yet have to work full time or more.

Why could ONE of you not increase your hours? Allowing the other to continue with the childcare.