Both work and we claim UC but still can't afford to live.

[Mocha1]

We have 3 kids, 2 who aren't at school yet, my husband and I both work 30 hours a week for charities so not highly paid. We also have childcare for part of the week and then juggle the kids between us the rest of the time (We don't want to work more as we dont want the kids in fulltime childcare). We rent and down't own. We claim UC but we are still really struggling to make ends meet. We really try to live to a tight budget but I have no idea how to lower our expenses any more.

Am I missing something? Is this normal? does anyone have any tips for saving money/ making more income somehow? I feel a bit at a loss as we keep dipping into our savings for just day to day expenses and we're nearly at the end of those.

Our income at the moment (I'm on MAT leave) - £3980
Outgoings- £4250

Do these outgoings seem like a lot for a family of 5 living in the south west? I've been going over our budget and I have no idea how to save any more unless we literally never bought another birthday present or went to a soft play ever again.

Well, you could get different jobs where you work 4 days Mon-Thurs and husband works Thurs-Sunday. Then you only need one day childcare.

But of course working part time and having three kids is a luxury.

I felt the same. Dh and I went part time. We had 1 child realised how expensive it was and stuck at one. You've had 3 children. You now need to increase your income to meet their needs and pay your bills. I'm not sure what other advice we can give. The great advantage you have is it'll be easy to earn more as you have plenty of scope to increase your hours and/or move to a more lucrative sector.

There’s something like 1.2 million families with 3 or more dependent kids. Compared to 7 million families with 1 or 2 dependent children.

Because 3 or more children is, and always has been, an expensive luxury.

One or two kids is most common. Because kids are expensive.

You sound like you want to do very holistic child rearing, but you can’t afford it. You could with two kids but you can’t with three. One of you needs it work more. It’s just how it is. You don’t have enough money which means you need to earn more… not really sure what else there is to say. Even if it upsets you, it’s true.

(Edited to use UK figures instead of figures from my birth country which was what I was familiar with).

Do you think living in poverty is good for their development?

@BuffetTheDietSlayer Exactly where did the OP say they are living in poverty?!!!!

Our income at the moment (I'm on MAT leave) - £3980
Outgoings- £4250

If they’re not in poverty now, they soon will be.

Edit to add that needing to claim universal credit is not the sign of healthy family finances.

They don’t have enough money to meet their needs, which is one definition of poverty.

But it comes down to what their “needs” are. They could be spending hundreds a month on luxuries or unnecessary things. Which would mean not poverty, just poor spending habits. But, as it stands on the info she gave, they do not earn enough to meet their needs.

So will your income go up at the end of your maternity leave? Will childcare bills go up too or will government hours cover it?

You're not short that much - maybe one of you needs to take a Saturday job or develop a side hustle during the childcare years?

It's really hard to advise without knowing your outgoings. But I doubt the third child is a major factor at their current age - presumably you have what you need for them from the other two.

Where do you think most of your money is going?

@Bobiverse It would be useful to know as a joint income of just under £4k pm doesn't sound like "poverty" to me?

I am assuming having the third child has impacted your finances. Did you not look at them before going for third child?

It's the 3 children. That's a lifestyle choice and it's a choice made by wealthier people
I imagine there's a lot of 1 child families who wanted more kids but couldn't afford them

It's not unpleasant to point out that you can't afford the third child and need to work more hours since they are here. Your perceptions of what is best for their development are irrelevant if you can't afford it. And is also offensive to people who do use full time child care.

You had 3 children expecting the state to support them because you and darling husband can't be arsed providing for them yourselves by working full time.

Very few parents love working full time and putting their children in childcare but unless you have enough in savings or one of you earns loads of money, it's just how it is.

@Oftenaddled I’m assuming a third maternity leave might have had an impact. Childcare costs?

You’ve got a luxury third child. We stuck with two as we decided we couldn’t afford a third one.

@Mocha1 increasing your income or cutting your outgoings are the only two options. If you don’t want to increase your working hours, the only other way is to cut your costs.

If there’s a specific part of your budget that you suspect is too high, whether it’s food, energy or something else, let us know and we can make some constructive suggestions.

You have three children while both of you are both working part time in low paid jobs. This is why you are tight for money.
It's not rocket science.

Increase your hours or get better paid work, and, as if by magic, you will have more money.

I'm wondering if the government hours will cover the childcare costs.

Maternity leave, yes, but if there's going to be a boost in salary when it ends presumably that will alleviate the problem.

We do need a bit more information to be any help here really!

Parents have always struggled when children are small. It’s a real crunch time. But you sound like you have plenty of upside to increase your income if that’s your priority. Assuming you earn more than childcare costs (not a given) then upping your hours rather than prioritising DC not being in childcare is one way. And your jobs likely pay less well than you could earn. So look at moving into a better paid area of work and/or a better paying sector.

I would love a third child. I can’t afford it, not with the lifestyle I want to give my kids. I could do it, but our lifestyle would have to change and it wouldn’t benefit the children I have. That’s a choice I’ve made because I’ve decided that it’s what’s best for my family.

You had the exact same situation; you had two kids and the lifestyle and work life balance which you want, and you could rise them according to your parenting ethos. But it doesn’t seem like you can keep that going with a third child. There have to be sacrifices.

It isn’t wrong to have the third child. You just made a different choice from me. Not a wrong choice. I have to accept that I’ll always feel a little sad about the child I didn’t have, and maybe it will be a huge regret later. You won’t have that. But, for the time being, you have to deal with more difficult financial situations that I don’t. That’s life; we make different choices and face different challenges.

Luckily, you actually do have the ability to fix this. You’re both part time so one of you has to go full time. But you’ll need to look at your UC as you need to find the balance of what you gain from more hours and what you lose in UC from increased earrings.

Sorry, I know this is totally missing the point of the thread (and in a way, your reply), but it made me chuckle to read "as if by magic" - I thought of Mr Benn! 😆 I'm not even sure if that is a Mr Benn quote either lol

Just to add, I had that luxury (unplanned) third child and was given lots of grief by my family about wanting to keep het and not have a termination.

It's awful having no money and it is certainly a luxury having three, but I don't have any regrets. We are not wealthy but we manage, and my husband works full time, and I work part time.

We're not entitled to UC but I certainly think if I wasn't going part time, we'd claim. But I agree with those who say you need to up the hours. Money is not going to magically appear and working full time will help you definitely make ends meet that bit easier.

“We don't want to work more as we don’t want the kids in fulltime childcare”

Get a full time job each like most other people instead of claiming UC because you only want to work part time hours.

The kids don’t need to be in full time childcare yet, you are on maternity leave, DH can work more. But ultimately, both of you work part time hours and you can’t afford that. One of you needs to take the lead and work full time and aim for a higher paid job, the other one stays at 30 hours to avoid full time childcare.