Both work and we claim UC but still can't afford to live.

[Mocha1]

We have 3 kids, 2 who aren't at school yet, my husband and I both work 30 hours a week for charities so not highly paid. We also have childcare for part of the week and then juggle the kids between us the rest of the time (We don't want to work more as we dont want the kids in fulltime childcare). We rent and down't own. We claim UC but we are still really struggling to make ends meet. We really try to live to a tight budget but I have no idea how to lower our expenses any more.

Am I missing something? Is this normal? does anyone have any tips for saving money/ making more income somehow? I feel a bit at a loss as we keep dipping into our savings for just day to day expenses and we're nearly at the end of those.

Our income at the moment (I'm on MAT leave) - £3980
Outgoings- £4250

Do these outgoings seem like a lot for a family of 5 living in the south west? I've been going over our budget and I have no idea how to save any more unless we literally never bought another birthday present or went to a soft play ever again.

Sigh.

Exactly, and when they have been driven out there won’t be any mugs left to fund the spongers.

lol , you must be a real non judgmental , compassionate and empathetic delight in the impoverished and deprived field in which you ‘teach’ from your ivory tower .

Spongers? Put the Daily Fail down.

Agree. I’m in that situation.
i think the current cliff edges in the tax system make no sense and reduce productivity (both free hours and child benefit) BUT it’s not a race to the bottom, I don’t want less to benefit but more. Free hours should be funded for all. If you contribute to the tax revenue, you should be able to take out also.

There is a huge difference to my mind between choosing poverty which the OP has - 3 kids and both working part time in a notoriously poorly paid sector and having it thrust on you ( failed contraception, job loss , limited capability limiting work options )

@Mocha1 you have been jumped on a lot

you both work.

having over £4k a month coming out sounds a lot and maybe if you come back and posted what they were , you may done people can help with your budget

Charity work is not really cut throat profit driven so less pressured im limited experience.

Look for a better paid job

You will take out, everyone takes out in one way or another.

My husband died when I was 3 months pregnant leaving me with huge debts. I went back to work when my DS was 4 months old. I worked full-time and paid for him to go to a nursery. He went to university, got a law degree and now has recently been awarded 'Silk' as KC. Whilst at Uni he worked in hotels & restaurants eventually moving on to being a chef.

It didn't do him any harm with his mum working whilst being a single parent. I felt that going to a nursery was important as the only child of a single mum he needed contact with other children & to learn how to share. Also I felt it important that my DS was brought up in a house where people went out to work and paid their own way.

I worked in the benefits system and worked out that I would've been about £20 a week better off if I'd claimed Income Support and hadn't worked.

You make your choices. No criticism, just saying.

Poverty?
Have we lost all meaning of the word?

It’s not just ‘stuff’ though. It’s providing stability by having your own home and being a role model by having a career. The OP wants to go to soft play and she wants to give her three children a birthday present but she can’t because she hasn’t got the money to do those things.

There is a ‘right and wrong’ if you can’t afford to live.

You clearly interpret stuff differently than I do.
I was referring to the extra stuff folk think kids need.

Well big be able to live is poverty - although it may hyperbole in this case

Sure. But the more you earn, the more you pay (quite rightly). It is my view that those earning more should contribute more (far more in the case of our current high earning population) but I believe benefits should be universal.
This would ensure that work always pays.
That there is never a financial benefit to working less, stopping working, or salary sacrificing. We have created huge productivity issues in the UK.

Simply, you've had more children than you can afford. It's not like you can send them back so it's now a case of having to work more hours or get a higher paying job. Babies are cheap. They only get more expensive. You have to factor in when you decide to have another baby, whether you can afford to raise them.

Benefits are not there to support lifestyle choices, they are for people in need. You don't need financial advice, you need to get a proper job.

Just like parents who put their children in childcare should fund it themselves and not rely on government support.

Did this strike you as an intelligent thing to say?

It does sound hard. I would think to the future. In some ways it gets easier, and some harder. Easier because, once they are all in school, one of you can easily take on more hours. Harder, because they cost more in terms of food and clothes. I completely understand about not wanting children in childcare - could I ask, are they in any childcare at all? If not, would it be worth considering a short time per week (I imagine you would be entitled to some free hours)? Maybe a childminder, rather than a nursery, which has a more home-y feel? Otherwise, it does mean cutting your coat according to your cloth, and not spending on soft play etc ie not spending money you don't have. It is a choice, not to work more, and alongside that goes choosing not to spend money you don't have. Sometimes it is not possible to have everything.

This

In a way it's a trap because Op and her DH won't go for promotion / additional hours because " benefits"
So they stay on these hours/ wages , no promotions and wake up way behind their peers in terms of home ownership, job prospects and often emotional development.
Then DC leave home and they are stuffed ...
Also pensions will be poor.

Some smarmy comments about having 3 kids here. Not helpful at all.

OP needs to look at outgoings and make some cuts. Do you eat out and order takeaways? Cut that out.

Check you direct debits, paying £60 a month for internet? You can get a reduced rate broadband if you are on UC, search "social tariff broadband".

Try and reduce your utility bills by shopping around for the cheapest tariff. Do you have your heating set too high? Set it lower by a couple of degrees. Wear cosy warm clothes indoors, use electric blankets. Do you use a tumble drier? Cut that out. Are there any draughts in your home that need to be dealt with? Do you have thermostatic radiator valves? Set them lower for each room.

Have a look at your food shopping. Is it full of branded stuff? Switch to Aldi/Lidl.

Eat more vegetarian food to reduce the amount you spend on meat. Beans on toast with an egg. Cheap dinner.

You have summed me up perfectly - non judgmental, compassionate and empathetic - have we met?

The poverty of aspiration and the inability or unwillingness to make change have led to thousands thinking it is acceptable to expect others to support them. To paraphrase Gandhi, be the change you want to see in the world.

No return from @Mocha1 OP, presumably because this hasn’t turned into the pityfest she was expecting. In direct answer to your question, no this isn’t normal, most of us work to fund our lifestyles and take into account our jobs and salaries when choosing how many children we have.

Honestly, this just demonstrates why the welfare bill is ballooning when people can choose to claim benefits rather than work to support themselves and their families. I used to think that they were there as a safety net, but this just shows that people will milk the system and expect others to fund them so they can spend their time as they wish. And no doubt taxes are going to go up to continue funding this ridiculous situation.

Obviously yes. It seems it’s ok for working parents to take government handouts for childcare which it is, but not for anyone who works hours so they can care for their own children. If they were not working at all and claiming benefits that’s a different discussion and not acceptable, however they are working.