Can only marred couples answer please.

[Richesme]

After my last posts about my husband wanting to go halves in paying bills rent etc when I start working full time, I’ve sat down with him and even though we had a disagreement about going halves, he eventually said, you can keep all your money to yourself and do your own spendings or savings from there.

He doesn’t believe that couples either put all their money in one pot or go halves in proportionate to their wages. His works in the bank therefore tells me that he has many customers come in to open joint accounts and they go halves.

I want to find out as married couples, how do you guys manage your money, bills, rent, mortgage, spendings, savings and investments?

Both of our wages go into the joint account. From there we make payments into savings account accounts, we have a main savings account a holiday fund and kids savings account.
I also transfer money to his account and my account for personal spends each month.
We also have our own separate savings.

Once we had children everything goes into one pot that is jointly ours. It was an important mind set shift that as a family we were all "in it together" and more than flat mates sharing a house

Before then we earned similar amounts so it didn't really matter who paid what in or out of which account.

Both our salaries go into the joint account (DH earns about 20x what I do). All bills and mortgage and food come out of that account. We transfer a set amount into savings every month which are in my name. Then we both take an equal amount of spending money into our own accounts which is ours to do with as we wish.

Wages go into individual accounts. We transfer bills money into the joint account at a 60:40 split to cover for disparity in wages.

Similar here - all wages into the joint account, money transferred from there to joint savings, child savings and personal accounts for personal spends/savings.

All in one pot. We then have our credit cards for day to day spending, either for ourselves or DC, which we clear each month from the joint account. Some months I spend more than I put into the joint account, some months I spend less.

DH gets decent bonuses every few months too and that goes into our joint savings.

We have been together for 37 years. All our money is joint, it's one pot, that's it. Current account and savings account. From the beginning.
You're a team, a partnership, you're not working for yourself, you're working for the marriage and for your family.
I cannot understand his attitude. If he doesn't want to share, I don't know why he's married.

Both salaries into a joint account. Sweep some into individual and saving accounts after everything is paid for each month.

Wages go into our own accounts and then we have a joint account where we transfer in money fir bills etc in proportion to earnings. So DH puts in 2/3 I put in 1/3. We also have joint savings

All goes in to one pot. One of us earns significantly more than the other, think 5 times more.

I do find it odd when married couples see the money as separate. Legally it’s all one pot so it makes me
wonder why they bother getting married as they don’t seem to want to share.

That’s not to say people shouldn’t have their own accounts as they don’t need to share every last purchase with their other half. I do find the whole concept of that’s your money and that’s mine. What would happen if one month someone’s car broke down and it was £1000 to repair would they not have a penny left and it be a case of tough titties…or would their partner lend them money but they’d have to pay it back? 🤔

I understand separate savings because ISA are tax free so financially it makes sense but for the benefit of the family regather than the individual

Yes, I agree - you're a family, not housemates, that's a good way of putting it

One pot, but we also jave separate pocket money accounts for individual fun spending (if out for a meal together for instance that would be the joint account).

All our money goes into the joint account. Credit cards are also joint. House is jointly owned. For most of our marriage I have earned significantly more than DW but we are a partnership so all money coming on from any source is regarded as joint family money.

I know other people find other means of working but when earnings are unequal I can't see any fairer method than ours.

All wages into joint account. We have joint savings and investments. I have a seperate bank acc from before we were married, but I think there’s about £70 in there. My husband earns significantly more than me and would be horrified at the thought of it not being shared money because we are a team.

We have a joint account for household bills and a joint savings account that we can dip into for holidays/bigger purchases etc, but we also have our own separate accounts.

Married 35 years, all money is joint money. We both have savings accounts, current accounts and one joint account. I pay some bills, DH pays some, never worked out how much.

DHs salary goes into the joint account, all bills/savings etc are sorted from there and we have the same spending money in our own accounts. I didn't work for years when DC were small. Now I'm working my salary just goes in too, its all one pot. I actually run our finances, DH couldn't tell you who our house insurance is with or what council tax we pay. I had more time when not working and im better at managing money.

All this my money/your money or paying shares doesn't sound like a marriage to me.

We were each responsible for individual bills reflecting proportion of our income. Now I'm the sole earner I transfer an amount for the bills in his name plus extra for his spending money (which he rarely spends). Together for many years and he fully supported me to get the qualifications that now pay the bills so now it's my turn to support him. It helps that neither of us are big spenders.

Have always done it this way - at one point I earned 3x as much as DH, now he earns a fair bit more than me.
Both sets of wages go into joint account. Bills are paid from that by direct debit.
Standing orders are set up for savings (joint).
We also have standing orders for the same amount of money to move into each of our personal accounts for our own socialising/buying stuff. I save some, DH spends every penny I think.
Decisions on big purchases are made together.

I’d be interested to know how your DH thinks he knows how couples do things just because they set up a joint account. We set ours up online and never had to explain how it was going to be used to anyone, and even if we told the guy at the bank we’ll be ‘going halves’ that doesn’t mean we would actually do that once the account was up and running.

FWIW, my friends are very open about money and deal with it in different ways but none of them have 1 person paying for everything and the other keeping theirs.

Not married but lived together for 30 odd years, one pot. We also have own accounts for spending but effectively all money is joint

All our money goes into joint account and we each get same amount of solso spending money for clothes, meals out with friends, solo holidays etc.
Its not a perfect science as lots of the things DH likes could be classed as joint i.e. fancy cars, new computers, but it’s as fair as we can manage.

Both salaries into joint account here and all bills etc paid from there. Everything stays as one pot, always has in 25 years we’ve been together. He earned more when I went PT after kids, now I earn more. Doesn’t matter, it’s family money.

DH significantly out earns me.
I do a hell of a lot more for the children and house as his work involves a lot of travel.

Everything is a 100% shared even if officially its in one name or the other. (For example our rental property is solely in my name, the shares account is in his name...)

The only time 50:50 would be fair, after children, is if both partners genuinely had equal opportunities to grow their careers. But usually one is making sacrifices for the other.

into one pot, everything comes out of there

same amount of savings paid into separate isas

we have joint ccs which are paid from the joint account

to be honest I had a supplementary credit card as a relatively new girlfriend because he never wanted me to be out of pocket for grabbing any shopping or ordering a takeaway for us both, as he earned more than me (I was in a public sector job at the time which wasn’t handsomely paid)

All our money goes into one account.
I do our budget and run it by my husband.
Joint savings. And we both spend responsibly so no issues on who's spending what ect.
We have 3 children and I have no idea how you split child spends with separate money. I bought socks this morning for my daughter would you then ask for half? Seems totally pointless when you could just have a joint account.