Can only marred couples answer please.

[Richesme]

After my last posts about my husband wanting to go halves in paying bills rent etc when I start working full time, I’ve sat down with him and even though we had a disagreement about going halves, he eventually said, you can keep all your money to yourself and do your own spendings or savings from there.

He doesn’t believe that couples either put all their money in one pot or go halves in proportionate to their wages. His works in the bank therefore tells me that he has many customers come in to open joint accounts and they go halves.

I want to find out as married couples, how do you guys manage your money, bills, rent, mortgage, spendings, savings and investments?

Joint everything from before we were married and together nearly 40 years. We have separate credit cards but it doesn't matter who spends what on them, they are paid by dd every month from the joint account. He earned significantly more than me at some stages, I did and do all the financial admin, legals etc, I reduced hours for childcare and now I earn significantly more than him. But I also have a business sideline which is also in joint names. This increased our overall wealth. As we are of an older generation he always got to take out his 'wages' in cash every Friday so he felt like he has his own money. He spends that on whatever, it could be betting on a horse, a Sunday meal for the family, a pint, the newspaper, a coffee .... He has no clue about our finances or how I pay the bills with online banking. Just not his thing. Obviously he knows what property we own but he didn't take much notice of mortgages. He was also hopeless at budgeting when we first met so that's how I took it all over. We started off with not a penny to our names. Marriage is a partnership and finances should not be an issue as it's one pot for the family.

All income into one account, all bills, savings etc come out and then we both get exactly the same personal money to spend, waste!

We are a team, over the years I have earned more and DH has earned more in other years. We have always had the same spending money each - in my opinion it is the only fair way to split money

Obviously I spend my money sensibly and DH wastes his 😂

Incidentally, I enjoyed the typo in the heading. 'Marred couples' could be very apt in some cases! (Sorry - not read whole thread so might have already been mentioned.)

When living together, all separate apart from a bills account split 50/50.
When we married, all one pot - apart from ISA savings each and a savings account each for "bug out" money (its been there 26 years and counting) if they turn out to be a complete arse, you need separate money to just pack up and go. (Yes, my childhood was dysfunctional.)

We just each pay what will leave us a proportionate amount of money after. DH pays the mortgage, internet, water and electric. I pay the council tax, car insurance, petrol and all the groceries plus any clothes/shoes etc that DS needs.

Joint pot that everything goes into, and comes out of, including personal spend. We don’t ask for any permission to spend money from the pot. It’s been several decades like that and has worked well.

Married with 2 teens DC. Have had a joint pot for everything since we moved in together. I earn twice what DH does but it’s all family money so I genuinely don’t give it a minutes thought (and hadn’t until this thread)

We have salaries paid into our own accounts then transfer a lump sum from into a joint account where house direct debits go from.

Both our wages get paid directly into the same joint account.

He takes out £400 for his personal spends and I take out £400 for my personal spends.

Every single payment related to the house, children, savings, cars, phones, holiday, food etc comes out of the joint account.

We only started doing this when we had our first child though because of how my hours/income changed.

We have a joint account and separate pocket money accounts and all savings are joint .

I earn approx 2x what DH earns.

All money into one joint account and all bills paid from there. Credit card in my name (for no reason other than I organised it) - we both have a card and all family and personal spending goes through credit card which we pay off in full from joint account every months. Any big purchases are discussed beforehand (eg no booking holidays, weekend aways, buying white goods, cars, most stuff over about £200 before agreed with the other person).

We also save each month which is in my name but is joint. Also trying to make sure our pension pots are vaguely equal.

Surely in a marriage you're a partnership? We do have similar attitudes to money and spending though which makes this easier and we have literally never had a conflict over money.

Married over 25 years and have separate accounts. DH is self employed so it’s more straightforward if his income and expenses are separate.

Bills are split proportionately which means I pay most of them as I am the higher earner.

We are open with each other about finances so we both know how much the other earns and has in savings, investments and pensions. We also discuss things openly with the DC.

There is no one right way to organise things, it’s whatever works for your circumstances and personalities as long as the outcome is fair.

We have separate accounts. My husband earns far more than I does so he pays for the bigger bills such as mortgage (although it is a joint mortgage). I pay certain bills as well but proportional to my wages. He also gives me X amount a month. He has savings I do not but the children and I never want for anything and his savings are used for big things like car etc. It isn't the normal way of doings things though and I wouldn't say it is the best. It works for us but my husband is fair and not controlling. I think though at any solution needs to be really talked about and communicate all the needs and feelings about it all.

We have a joint account for bills. We each pay a proportion of our salary into that. And keep separate accounts for discretionary spending

We earn similar, both salaries go into our individual accounts and we transfer the same amount to the joint account each month.
All bills etc paid from that, plus savings/ investments transferred from that.
We have a joint credit card for all family spending such as fuel or food etc .
We then have whatever is left to spend or save as we want

We both have our own money and just pay for stuff. We dont tot up who pays what. He pays most bills I pay for food and child activities (£££) and I pay a lot of holiday costs but he might book the hotel and I book the flight and car hire then he pays food. House expenditure on our renovation and furniture we have split but only in a you paid for x so I will get y.

All in together once we had childten.
See an accountant each year to make sure we both invest in superannuation and make the most of our money to create family wealth and make sure we claim all tax deductions etc.
Joint ownership of houses.
We don't both make the same money but the lower earner does most of the family sport, extra curricular activities and running about etc - so both work equally hard for our family.
Decide together on big spends like holidays and cars.
Free to manage smaller spends individually.
Both have a similar opinion on money and spend as little as needed, minimal new clothes etc.

Everything into one account and all investments/savings etc in both our names. Husband earns approx ten times more than me but everything is equal. We have kids which can make a difference to some couples and I can understand that this way may not work if partners have very different attitudes towards money but honestly I can’t comprehend being happy to have children with someone but not trust them with your bank account. Also, in your situation is it 50-50 with unpaid work? Because so often the type of people who want it to be 50-50 financially aren’t great at making sure everything else is 50-50.

Both our salaries go into a joint account from which all expenses are paid. There is no such thing as "his" money and "my" money, we are a partnership and hold all things in common. We are free to spend on personal items in moderation but agree to consult eachother for any spending over £100.

The legal effect of marriage is that you agree to be a single unit partnership financially. That's why in the event of divorce it's a 50:50 split no matter whose name is on the asset. If your husband is trying to keep some things as "his" then he doesn't understand the commitment he made in marrying you.

Our wages get paid into a joint bank account. The joint then pays for:
Rent
Bills such as gas, electric, water, WiFi, council tax etc
Food shopping
Car (we only have one)
Gym (we go to the same one so this is the same for both of us)
Petrol
Date nights, takeaways & joint activities, holidays

On pay day we transfer a set amount from the joint into a joint savings account. This depends on what’s going on in our lives but for this example let’s just say £500. Then we transfer from the joint a set amount to each of our personal accounts. For example £300 each.

This £300 then covers us as ‘fun’ money for the month. If DH or I wanted to go out and piss it up the wall on a night out we could and the other wouldn’t moan because it’s our money but we would know we have nothing left for the rest of the month then. Sometimes we don’t spend all of our personal allowance and save a bit back if we want to buy a bigger purchase the next month. I saved some of mine back for a few months as I had my eye on a bag.

Works for us because one of us earns significantly more than the other and this way it means we both have the exact same money.

All into one pot. If you’re married then you’ve signed off on sharing assets anyway!

In the early years of marriage, setting up a home, having children etc. One pot. joint savings. DH was higher earner then..
Later years, I was earning most.
We did get some inheritances, older generation, families with no children. Not huge ££s, shared between cousins. We tended to keep most of those separate. Until we bought a nice house with all we had.

All the money into one pot and £200 p/m each into our own accounts for guilt free spending.
We've been doing this since we first bought a house together.

In the law. Your assets are all joint once you're married.

Salaries get paid into our own individual bank accounts. We transfer exactly 50/50 into the joint account to pay bills such as mortgage/utilities. We use a credit card to buy all food, petrol, small house items and work i.e. plumbers, takeaways, meals out, cinema, and the bill gets split 70/30% as DH earns 3 x what I do. DH puts excess income into a joint savings account which I also try to do but not as much as he does.

I have checked our separate outgoings and it works out about 80% each of our individual salaries.