Can only marred couples answer please.

[Richesme]

After my last posts about my husband wanting to go halves in paying bills rent etc when I start working full time, I’ve sat down with him and even though we had a disagreement about going halves, he eventually said, you can keep all your money to yourself and do your own spendings or savings from there.

He doesn’t believe that couples either put all their money in one pot or go halves in proportionate to their wages. His works in the bank therefore tells me that he has many customers come in to open joint accounts and they go halves.

I want to find out as married couples, how do you guys manage your money, bills, rent, mortgage, spendings, savings and investments?

Joint account, everything shared, house in joint names.

Big purchases are discussed. Smaller things we both spend what we want/need. I’m retired now but DH still works and I consider all his money to be also my money. I’ve always earned much less, but I will inherit more one day and I brought some positive equity at the start. We discuss all our financial affairs and make joint decisions on everything - pensions, isas, uni fees etc.

One pot here initial also a "figurative" pot, we were married 15 years before we migrated to a joint bank account and one pot banking. And I wouldn't be telling anyone working in the bank the precise details of our relationship financial arrangements, so ignore all of that.

Married 30ish years. One pot that pays for everything. Always has been right from the start. You’re either a partnership or your not to my mind.

Both have our own current accounts and savings, individual credit cards with the other as additional card holder (there is no such thing as joint credit cards in the UK - the liability always rests with the main card holder, something to beware of)

The joint account is for household and joint expenses into which we transfer a regular proportional amount which we have reviewed over years according to life changes. Major purchases and significant expenditure like house renovations/ repairs are discussed.

All monies in joint pot. Bills paid from it. Equal amount into individual savings - savings are in individual names just incase anything happens to either of us so we can always access money.

Wages into our individual accounts and then an agreed amount each into the joint based on monthly and annual bills (love a spreadsheet!)

To begin with we did the split proportionally based on our incomes but have moved over time (as wages have moved between us) to pay in such a way that we both have equal spending money left over after paying into the joint.

We could just have both wages paid into the joint and take out the agreed individual spending money, of course, but our system has grown organically and we're happy with it.

There is no world in which we've ever 'gone halves' when one person is significantly out-earning the other. The higher earning partner wouldn't at all have enjoyed having lots of spare cash while the other partner was struggling for cash. Very weird.

We always pooled our money, and if we kept things separate- for example I always had some savings, they always went to the good of the family if they were needed.
Same with him, though he rarely saved.

I don't quite understand remaining in a marriage if people are looking out for their separate interests and don't trust their spouse where money is concerned

We have three joint accounts; one for bills (which all wages go into), one for spending and one for savings. DH has one separate small savings account that he moves any money his family get for birthday and Christmas across as he often saves up for bigger things like a new PC. I don’t because I usually spend any money I’m given quite promptly 🤣 It works for us, but we earn similarly and neither came to the relationship with significant savings, debt or already having children - I can see how anything like that would affect the choice to pool everything!

If we had separate accounts I think it would be a nightmare constantly billing each other for all the stuff we buy for the kids, they’re by far our biggest expenditure!!

We don't have a joint account as that didn't work well for us practically, but all our money is pooled and considered family money. No one lives the high life versus the other. We each have our hobbies and pay for that. We both buy clothes or bits and pieces we need, but we're not shopaholics or into designer stuff. We have a similar social life with friends. We pay for different things and then transfer money to each other if we need it, no questions asked. In general my husband does the more regular bills like mortgage and electricity and I do the everything else - insurance, holidays, house spend, savings, all kids related stuff (hobbies, school, health). If one of us inherits that'll be family money towards a common goal (house extension, savings, etc.) and all bonuses etc go into the pot (we usually encourage the bonusee to do something nice for themselves and the rest is savings).
We believe that earning more than another person doesn't mean you should have a nicer life than your spouse. Often it's just luck about what career road you went down - we both work hard and contribute to the house and raising kids - so the fact that one of us lucked out with a better paying job is just good luck for the family, not the individual.

We keep things fairly structured with our finances. We have a joint account for bills, the mortgage, and household expenses, but we also each have our own personal accounts. On top of that, we’ve set up both joint and separate savings for a rainy day.

We don’t split everything strictly 50/50 it just wouldn’t be realistic. I’m already in the 40% tax bracket, but my husband earns quite a bit more and is in the bracket above me, so our incomes aren’t exactly comparable.

When we first discussed it, he asked what I’d feel comfortable contributing, and I tried to come up with amounts that felt fair for the mortgage and regular bills. Beyond that, things tend to balance out over the year. For example, we just had the house painted he covered the labour, and I paid for the materials. When we redid the kitchen, I covered the deposit and he paid the rest. It all evens out in the end.

We both work in finance (I’m at a bank), so I’d like to think we’re pretty money-savvy in how we manage things.

I know different people do different things in regard to finances, we’ve always had one joint bank account that both wages were paid into that was used to pay everything, never had a this is my money type scenario, it’s just our money, we both access it as needed, separate savings accounts, but only because they are ISAs , we also both use just one email account, it’s quite funny when it comes to things like data protection, companies simply cannot cope with it

We are very fluid with our money. It just so happens that bills and food come out of my personal account with my money. I also tend to make the majority of child related purchases. Dh does house maintenance stuff and then sporadically sends me money.

For us it works well because we don't really care what account the money is in and we just shuffle money to be where we want or need it to be

Married 20 years here, all money goes into joint account. Then we each take the same "fun money" each month. Have joint savings for major projects, college funds etc... and all big spends from joint funds are discussed.

All our income goes into our joint account, all expenses and savings come out of that. We have a joint savings account and I have a personal savings account but it’s all ‘our’ money. I do our budget, it’s easier that way, and bigger expenses (anything from a new phone to a holiday etc) are discussed before committing.
We run our own business so while we’re equal partners, he does 99% of the actual work whereas I do the paperwork and look after the children (two under 4)

All our money is shared

I earn 3x my husband's salary and it all goes into one joint account where bills are paid. We then transfer out to joint savings and each get the same amount to a personal fun money account each month.

When we lived together before marriage we added proportionate amounts relative to income. When married it all goes in one pot. If you get divorced it's all halved anyway!

The one-pot thing is much fairer, particularly if one person loses income to look after a child etc.

We share everything.
All money is our money.

Its not my money and his money just like its not my microwave and his kettle, my sofa and his table. My bed and his wardrobe...

All in one pot. Everything shared and equal say regardless of income disparity, as I have often not worked or been part-time due to children and ill health. Married over 15 years.

All in one pot. We have saving pots, separately as they are ISAs and jointly for short-term saving like holidays and emergency savings.

I earn around 2/3 of DH's earning.

No individual accounts for spending, we use our credit card and that's then debited in full from the joint account.

But - we have similar spending habits.

We have a joint house account for food/child stuff/days outs a month. All money is shared though, we have joint savings and both have full access to everything. He makes 17k more than me but we agreed when we got pregnant (before we married) it was our joint money (married now anything now). We both have the same 'spends' a month. If either need more though we are free to take from savings.

We have had a joint account for well over 40 years since we got married. We have our own savings accounts, because you can’t have joint ISAs, but we used to put the same in each, even when I was a SAHP. In the beginning, when we had to be very careful with our money, we both economised. Now there is more money, neither of us feel we have to ask the other’s permission to spend money. It has worked really well for us.

all our money is shared money no matter who earned it.

Obviously different couples have different set-ups. There isn't one perfect answer.
We have been married 30+ years and were fairly young. DH was studying the first 2 years and had a small income. At that point we set up a joint account for all income and spending and have just kept it ever since. That was before internet banking which might have made it easier to move money between pots. But we have always pooled everything through the variations of income for both of us. Now I would find it complicated to be splitting bills but I can see why people might, especially if they married later in life when more financially established.

We each have our own accounts and we each are responsible for different bills