Father-in-law wants to gift my husband a house – in my husband's name only

[esgill]

My husband's parents have been undergoing a painful divorce for the past five years, arguing via their lawyers about the financial terms.

Now, my father-in-law contacted my husband to say he wants to give him money to buy a house – on the condition it's only in his name. My husband argued over this – but his dad basically said his way or the highway. He says it's not about trust but what else is it – I guess he's disillusioned after five years of legal battles.

Our question: how enforceable is this, actually? His father is abroad, in another continent. We're married, without a pre-nuptial agreement (though we got married abroad, I wonder if we'd need to do anything to legalise it here?

Otherwise, my husband said we could change the contrast so it's in both of our names. (is that easy to do?)

We have a young daughter and I have no intention of leaving my husband unless he does something insane like cheat on me. We've been together now for 10 years and know each other for a further four when we were friends. But I want security, for me and my daughter.

I would ask @MNHQto move this over to the Legal Section @esgill. I have no idea what your rights would be, especially with the marriage taking place abroad.

So if he gives your dh a house, buy another one in your name. Logically if youre not paying mortgage or rent then you can afford that or saving.

It will all come out in the end if you divorce

I can understand his dad's POV to some extent in that he wants to safeguard his own child and has been hurt himself, but he has to consider the damage it could do to your relationship.

Do you rent at the moment? Would you and your husband be able to choose the house or does his dad want to do that too?

Wouldn’t it just be a marital asset?

Take the money and buy a house in your DH's name!

He can always change it over to you as well in the future. And as a PP says, it will be a marital asset. Especially if you stay married for quite a while afterwards.

There is no legal status to prenups in UK law.

Firstly, don’t let this affect your own marriage.

Secondly, you have a child together and ultimately this house will be hers. You and your DH do what you need to do for yourselves and your child.

Thirdly, things change over time. Let it be as it is right now; the landscape might be different in 5 or 10 years.

Fourthly, if your DH is financially better off than you because of this and you both agree you want financial parity in the totality of your assets, you’re free to arrange your joint affairs accordingly.

Fifthly, you don’t know what the future holds. Is it possible your own circumstances might change in the future?

Ultimately, this can only be a good thing unless you let it be the opposite.

If he gives your DH money for a house in which you will both live, it doesn’t matter that it’s in DH’s sole name. It will be matrimonial property should you divorce. It’s something that the Bank of Mum & Dad needs to be aware of!

I don’t think he can do it in the way you’ve described as it would just be a marital asset, assuming you divorce in the uk.

He could however put a house in trust for your DH and DC.

That would mean should you divorce, he would automatically be able to house the dc and you would not, which would increase the amount of custody he’s likely to get.

So it might be helpful to invest in a small BTL property so you would have a home in the worst case scenario. But it’s fraught with issues, one being that he’d still own half the BTL.

The only way your FIL could protect the asset/house would be to place the money in a trust, or buy a house with a trust for your DH.

Luckily your FIL doesn't seem to know much about property law. Buy the house!

Accept the offer and purchase the house in your husband’s name - and then set up a stocks and shares ISA purely in your name and invest in it each month what you would be saving by no longer renting. That way you are both building up equity.

Did you hear him having that convo with his father, I just wonder as a pre nup is unusual and this seems more in that vein, which makes me wonder if this is what your husband wishes.

No, FIL doesn't need to be aware of that 😉

It’s fairly easy to get added later down the line, you need a solicitor and I think it cost around £300 (though check that).

Honestly, don’t bother with the fight. Let the dad buy it in his name, and change it down the line, he doesn’t even need to know.

Once the house is bought and registered with the Land Registry your husband can do what he likes with it, including transferring into joint names.
As you are married (you do need to check whether your marriage is considered legal in this country if you have any doubts about it) the house would be a marital asset anyway if you divorced.
Your FIL is mysoginist twat who would see his own daughter in law and granddaughter homeless. I would have nothing to do with him.

Buy it in his name and then in 12 months or so, when his dad has perhaps realised the ridiculousness of his rule, do a TOE and add your name

Are you legally married in the uk? Not all foreign marriages are legally recognised.

if so, and you are in England (Scotland differs) then the matrimonial home is an asset of the marriage no matter whose name it is in. So it doesn’t matter.

This wouldnt bother me at all. It's still a marital asset

Good point. Where did you get married, OP?

If you divorce it’s a marital asset. I would check your marriage is UK legal though.

if he dies then he can leave it to whoever he chooses. If he leaves it to you (or alternatively your child with a life interest for you) then there’s still no issue. The only concern would be if for some reason he leaves it to someone else…

Out of interest whose asset would it be in Scotland? The person whose name it’s in?

I wouldn’t worry about this. You can register the fact you live there with land registry. If you divorce, it’s half yours.

Where did you get married?

Unfortunately I cannot afford a house.

When DH and I were married he already had a house that was in his sole name as he had bought it on his own. 40 years later we only this year got around to putting my name on it! I think as long as you are legally married and have children together it probably doesn't matter too much whose name the house is in, particularly if you have wills naming each other. This is assuming of course that FIL doesn't make some sort of complicated trust arrangement as others have suggested he might. I think in that case if I was the DH I might refuse the 'kind' offer as I have no idea how it might impact your lives in the future if say you wanted to sell that house and use the equity to buy another if you needed to upsize/downsize/move to single level living/escape to the country/emigrate or whatever.

Thank you, yeah we won't argue over it, it helps my husband is on my side. I want security for us and for our daughter.

Yes my husband is financially better off than me. It's a bit silly though as it's a gift to buy outright, and I have some savings. If we combined them and got a mortgage, we could buy a bigger house. My husband is the primary parent at the moment as I am full-time.

Where/how did you get married, OP?