Page 2 | Father-in-law wants to gift my husband a house – in my husband's name only

esgill · 2025-09-13T15:34:50+00:00

My husband's parents have been undergoing a painful divorce for the past five years, arguing via their lawyers about the financial terms. Now, my father-in-law contacted my husband to say he wants to give him money to buy a house – on the condition it's only in his name. My husband argued over this – but his dad basically said his way or the highway. He says it's not about trust but what else is it – I guess he's disillusioned after five years of legal battles. Our question: how enforceable is this, actually? His father is abroad, in another continent. We're married, without a pre-nuptial agreement (though we got married abroad, I wonder if we'd need to do anything to legalise it here? Otherwise, my husband said we could change the contrast so it's in both of our names. (is that easy to do?) We have a young daughter and I have no intention of leaving my husband unless he does something insane like cheat on me. We've been together now for 10 years and know each other for a further four when we were friends. But I want security, for me and my daughter.

Original poster

esgill · 13/09/2025 17:18

LegallyBlondish · 13/09/2025 16:41

If he gives your DH money for a house in which you will both live, it doesn’t matter that it’s in DH’s sole name. It will be matrimonial property should you divorce. It’s something that the Bank of Mum & Dad needs to be aware of!

Good to know! I need to check our marriage is legally recognised here as we got married 7 years ago abroad... I guess it is but I don't know if we need to do anything else to assure we are safe?

OP posts:

Original poster

esgill · 13/09/2025 17:19

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 13/09/2025 16:42

I don’t think he can do it in the way you’ve described as it would just be a marital asset, assuming you divorce in the uk.

He could however put a house in trust for your DH and DC.

That would mean should you divorce, he would automatically be able to house the dc and you would not, which would increase the amount of custody he’s likely to get.

So it might be helpful to invest in a small BTL property so you would have a home in the worst case scenario. But it’s fraught with issues, one being that he’d still own half the BTL.

I don't have the savings to do that unfortunately, and as a freelancer it's harder for me to get the kind of mortgage necessary on my own.

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jonthebatiste · 13/09/2025 17:20

esgill · 13/09/2025 17:17

Thank you, yeah we won't argue over it, it helps my husband is on my side. I want security for us and for our daughter.

Yes my husband is financially better off than me. It's a bit silly though as it's a gift to buy outright, and I have some savings. If we combined them and got a mortgage, we could buy a bigger house. My husband is the primary parent at the moment as I am full-time.

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No house is worth as much as a stable and happy family home. Rather that in a smaller house than the opposite in a bigger house.

Original poster

esgill · 13/09/2025 17:20

Wildgoat · 13/09/2025 16:43

Did you hear him having that convo with his father, I just wonder as a pre nup is unusual and this seems more in that vein, which makes me wonder if this is what your husband wishes.

Edited

Well, we married without a prenup. They were speaking in a language I don't speak but I could tell my husband wasn't happy and I trust him.

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rwalker · 13/09/2025 17:21

theres never any guarantees with anything thing in life
ask FIL if all those years ago he envisaged getting divorced

accept the offer
then you and DH buy something as well as an investment

Original poster

esgill · 13/09/2025 17:23

Octavia64 · 13/09/2025 16:47

Are you legally married in the uk? Not all foreign marriages are legally recognised.

if so, and you are in England (Scotland differs) then the matrimonial home is an asset of the marriage no matter whose name it is in. So it doesn’t matter.

We married in Korea, so apparently that's recognised here?

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Original poster

esgill · 13/09/2025 17:25

Redrosesposies · 13/09/2025 16:45

Once the house is bought and registered with the Land Registry your husband can do what he likes with it, including transferring into joint names.
As you are married (you do need to check whether your marriage is considered legal in this country if you have any doubts about it) the house would be a marital asset anyway if you divorced.
Your FIL is mysoginist twat who would see his own daughter in law and granddaughter homeless. I would have nothing to do with him.

Thank you. And I know, I had a little cry about it. my husband is supportive though and said he'll do whatever we need to do to transfer it to joint ownership. We could really do with a house and without this I can't see us getting on the property ladder anytime soon.

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Original poster

esgill · 13/09/2025 17:26

carpool · 13/09/2025 17:14

When DH and I were married he already had a house that was in his sole name as he had bought it on his own. 40 years later we only this year got around to putting my name on it! I think as long as you are legally married and have children together it probably doesn't matter too much whose name the house is in, particularly if you have wills naming each other. This is assuming of course that FIL doesn't make some sort of complicated trust arrangement as others have suggested he might. I think in that case if I was the DH I might refuse the 'kind' offer as I have no idea how it might impact your lives in the future if say you wanted to sell that house and use the equity to buy another if you needed to upsize/downsize/move to single level living/escape to the country/emigrate or whatever.

I have no idea how he'd be doing it tbh. He just said he'll transfer as soon as he can, basically it's coming out of his inheritance as a 'donation' to his personal bank account.

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Didntask · 13/09/2025 17:28

If you'll be living in the house as the marital home and dont see yourselves splitting up anytime soon, you'll have rights over it anyway as you're married.

Coconutter24 · 13/09/2025 17:30

esgill · 13/09/2025 17:17

Thank you, yeah we won't argue over it, it helps my husband is on my side. I want security for us and for our daughter.

Yes my husband is financially better off than me. It's a bit silly though as it's a gift to buy outright, and I have some savings. If we combined them and got a mortgage, we could buy a bigger house. My husband is the primary parent at the moment as I am full-time.

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Combine your savings with the gift to DH and get a mortgage for a bigger house. Your DH could ring fence all the money that his father gives him so if the worst does happen that money is protected and stays with DH

honeylulu · 13/09/2025 17:43

Will the house be in the UK? If so it will be deemed a marital asset (if necessary ie if you divorce) even if just in husband's sole name. So your husband can keep his father's condition by buying it in his sole name and showing him the evidence.

If you divorce you have the right to claim a fair share of the total assets (as does your husband). If he dies he can leave the whole house to you in his will. Also if the house is the marital home you can lodge a notice with the Land Registry which means you have the right to live there/ not have it sold without your agreement, even if you aren't listed as an owner on the deed. Further if your FIL is not listed as a co owner then H will be free to sell it if he wants or transfer it into joint names at a later date.

So I suggest keep quiet, go along with it and know you're protected behind the scenes. No need to tell FIL that.

Mischance · 13/09/2025 17:47

Let OH take the dosh and buy a lovely home in his name - that will keep FIL happy. There is nothing to stop him making over half of it to you at a later date - FIL need not even know; and if you split up I believe it is just a joint asset.

anyolddinosaur · 13/09/2025 17:55

"The UK recognises marriages that are legally valid in the country where they took place, provided they would also be recognised as valid under UK law. This means that if you got married in a country where the legal age of marriage is 15, your marriage would not be recognised in the UK as the legal age of marriage is 16.
If you’re unsure whether your marriage is recognised in the UK, you can check with the General Register Office. They can provide advice on whether your marriage is recognised and what steps you may need to take to register it."

As long as you have some proof of marriage you should be fine.

On the house - it's easy to re-register a house in both names if there is no mortgage or fee involved. You need a TR1 form. If you dont use a solicitor/ conveyancer you'll also need a certificate of identity and to show a passport to the person verifying it.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/registered-titles-whole-transfer-tr1

No Capital Gains Tax to consider as you are married.

Take the gift, change registration later.

Christmasnewyear · 13/09/2025 17:59

Iloveeverycat · 13/09/2025 16:49

This wouldnt bother me at all. It's still a marital asset

This!!!! This would t bother me at all, full stop. As others said, invest the rent you are paying now just in your name.

TheTwenties · 13/09/2025 18:02

Getting married abroad is legally recognised in the UK. I rang a registry office a few years ago when we had a need for a non uk wedding certificate to be legalised and wondered if just getting married in the UK might be a faster solution. I was told we couldn’t as the marriage is legal here and thankfully the document process wasn’t quite as difficult as feared.

Whateverwillwedonow · 13/09/2025 18:11

Do it! It’s a secure home for your dc.

Good on your Dh for standing up for you though.

Original poster

esgill · 13/09/2025 18:12

TheTwenties · 13/09/2025 18:02

Getting married abroad is legally recognised in the UK. I rang a registry office a few years ago when we had a need for a non uk wedding certificate to be legalised and wondered if just getting married in the UK might be a faster solution. I was told we couldn’t as the marriage is legal here and thankfully the document process wasn’t quite as difficult as feared.

Thank you — so we don’t have to do anything to legalise it?

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Bambamhoohoo · 13/09/2025 18:16

I’m sort of of smiling at your FIl being this focused on excluding you but also this dumb 😂 OP if you have a long marriage (by the time you divorce) there is little debate- it’s a martial asset. If you’ve only just got married there might be an argument to make but that’s not relevant now

Moveoverdarlin · 13/09/2025 18:22

Just nod along and go with it. Pretty sure if things went tits up between you and your husband it’s 50 percent yours anyway. He’s your husband, it’s half yours. If your DH died, it would go to you.

I wouldn’t stress about it. It’s a huge asset! Enjoy the rental income and reap the benefits. Tell your DH to say ‘Wow! Thanks Dad, that’s incredibly generous.’ And then just button it and be thankful you've just been given a house.

This is a good thing, don’t turn it into something sour. It’s half yours if the marriage ends, chill out.

AxolotlEars · 13/09/2025 18:22

Let him buy it. It's a marital asset. You can always sell it 'down the road' and buy something else.

DCorMe · 13/09/2025 18:22

@esgilli would personally check with your local registry office to ensure your marriage is legally recognised in the UK, especially with this issue.

Helpmefindmysoul · 13/09/2025 18:32

Check if your marriage is recognised in the UK.

https://www.prove-eligibility-foreign-government.service.gov.uk/affirmation/check-eligibility-and-the-documents-you-need?marriage.country=South%20Korea

It sounds like neither of you would be able to afford to purchase a property yourselves and you talk about security for your child. Accept the property and then arrange a transfer of equity to become joint tenants. Your father in law doesn’t need to know as once the property is registered to your husband the legal process has nothing to do with his father and your husband can do as he likes.

If your father in law had purchased a property and then gave it as inheritance it would by and large only to your husband so does it really matter if you’re not named initially? As long as you trust your husband then he will protect you and your child?

Confirm you’re free to get married in South Korea – Prove your eligibility to a foreign government

https://www.prove-eligibility-foreign-government.service.gov.uk/affirmation/check-eligibility-and-the-documents-you-need?marriage.country=South+Korea

Original poster

esgill · 13/09/2025 18:46

Helpmefindmysoul · 13/09/2025 18:32

Check if your marriage is recognised in the UK.

https://www.prove-eligibility-foreign-government.service.gov.uk/affirmation/check-eligibility-and-the-documents-you-need?marriage.country=South%20Korea

It sounds like neither of you would be able to afford to purchase a property yourselves and you talk about security for your child. Accept the property and then arrange a transfer of equity to become joint tenants. Your father in law doesn’t need to know as once the property is registered to your husband the legal process has nothing to do with his father and your husband can do as he likes.

If your father in law had purchased a property and then gave it as inheritance it would by and large only to your husband so does it really matter if you’re not named initially? As long as you trust your husband then he will protect you and your child?

Yeah looks like it is. I might want to double check with a lawyer to be safe…

OP posts:

LegallyBlondish · 13/09/2025 20:05

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 13/09/2025 16:42

I don’t think he can do it in the way you’ve described as it would just be a marital asset, assuming you divorce in the uk.

He could however put a house in trust for your DH and DC.

That would mean should you divorce, he would automatically be able to house the dc and you would not, which would increase the amount of custody he’s likely to get.

So it might be helpful to invest in a small BTL property so you would have a home in the worst case scenario. But it’s fraught with issues, one being that he’d still own half the BTL.

No court in the UK is going to give custody to one parent simply because they have more resources at their disposal. In any event, trusts may protect trust property from the other party when people divorce, but if it’s a needs case, more of the matrimonial property will go to the other to ensure that needs are met. The courts in the UK have fairness in mind when dealing with these cases.

OP, please do not take advice from people on Mumsnet. If your husband has your interests at heart, he will take you with him to a solicitor to get legal advice regarding this. And if you don’t have a marriage recognised in the UK, you should get married to protect yourself and your children.

WhatAboutTheOtherOne · 13/09/2025 20:36

I’d be ok with it being in the husbands name as I can understand why the FIL wants to give the money to his own flesh and blood. Think of the money you will save by not paying rent. I would not want to contribute to repairs or maintenance to the house though. You will be massively benefitting from the FIL generosity too.
I think the suggestion that a lot of posters have made to lie to the FIL is awful and really dishonest. What sort of low life would lie to their own father when the father is giving them hundreds of thousands of pounds. That’s really shitty behaviour. If the OPs husband doesn’t want the house then he can decline.