How on earth am I suppose to do this!!

[Summersparkles123]

I'm mid thirties. Never owed a property. Since mum to 1 DC. Had to take a job in a school term time to work around my DC as I have no outside support to enable childcare to look after them in the school holidays.
How on earth am I ever supposed to 1. Save a deposit for a house and 2. Earn enough to be able to borrow enough for a house.
I just feel so down. I don't know what else I can possibly do. I'm the highest paid I can be in the sector I'm in but it's still not enough.
Got another 10 or so years until DC is independent from me and I can work 52 weeks of the year. I still don't even know if that's enough.
Solo/single parents how did you do it?? People may say work more but I don't want to not be there for my child.

Universal credit helps with childcare costs. I’ve only ever worked up to 30 hours on (16 with 3DC).
it’s not easy but doable

I use holiday clubs and school wraparound for before and after school. You can’t be there if you need to work full time. Or you work less and are there more. So, it’s a choice and you make it and live by the choice that you’ve made. I’ve got more money than you but less time with my child. I don’t want to earn less money so I’ve made my choice.

Does your child go to the other parents at all?

Agree with others. You can’t expect to have all the time with your child plus the money to do the things you want unless you earn a lot part time. I also chose to work full time. Neither choice right or wrong- just individual.

You don’t say how old your child is but when they are small it is hard to envision them at wrap around care and holiday clubs but once they are a bit older it’s just fine.

Honestly it's almost impossible. Making each month break-even it's your goal. When possible try and save for an emergency fund.

Will get easier once your little one gets older. I don't know anyone single that's managed it, one that managed to buy has had inheritance when their child is almost 16 so no more childcare costs and able to work full-time to keep up with mortgage.

Owning a home comes with it's own problems, maintenance costs... worried about interest rates, housing market crashing...if there's little wiggle room each month you're better off renting for now until you can control childcare outgoings.

My child’s holiday club is £22 a day. You need to get a full time job and use childcare if you want to save for a house,

I agree I know it sounds harsh but a single mum working part time around school will never bring in much money. You can enjoy the life you have around your child or make changes and use childcare to increase your hours. You can’t have everything, none of us can.

I’m a single parent of 2 with no support at all, you need a full time all year round job. After school clubs, holiday clubs and childminders are needed, but universal credit helps with costs.

When my eldest DS was a small child he used to go to a lady who worked in a school term time but was a qualified child minder in school holidays. She had DS over each half term, Easter, Xmas and summer holiday. It worked really well for me but for the lady too.

This sounds like quite a good set up. OP, could you become a childminder so you can provide holiday care, plus perhaps wraparound care in term time?

Unless you are a highly paid professional and/or self employed with ability to set your own hours, it's very unlikely that you can earn enough to save and buy a house working school hours term time only. The reality is that to afford to buy, you need to earn more, usually from working longer hours and often live in a more affordable area to be able to buy, especially on your own, rather than with a partner.

Agree with the others. Unless you are a high earner you can't have it all ways. You had a child before home ownership, which is perfectly legitimate but limits your earning capabilities now. You don't want your child in childcare much, again, limiting your earnings. All fine choices, but you need to stand by your choices and not beat yourself up.

Where do you live as that makes a huge difference to the people saying work more.
In the south east that still may not be enough.

It's difficult these days for a lot of couples to buy a house never mind a single parent. You can't buy a house on one part-time wage. But I agree house prices are too high.

Totally this. You can't have it all ways. Like most of us you have to live by your choices

Your whole post reads like you have zero choice until your final line which shows you are making a choice. Everyone has to make the choice that is right for them and recognise the impact of that choice. So work more but accept you won’t be home so much or prioritise being home but accept you won’t earn so much. It’s pretty simple. The other people you see who manage to get the house (whether single or not and whether they have support or not) are likely sacrificing the time at home. That’s their choice.

It’s your last sentence that resonates with me. Kindly, and I’m not saying it’s right, it’s almost impossible to have both.
I was fortunate to get my mother when I was still married and I’ve been paying it alone for 8 years. I’ve worked full time outside of 2 x 6 months maternity leave. DCs dad has them 10
days a year of the school holidays and I use a childminder for the rest for my youngest (my older rarely goes now). I’d love more time with them but it just can’t be helped.

my post should say mortgage not mother!!

I know i just don't not want to be there for my DC. The job i work i see how sad children get when their parents aren't around and I feel sorry for them.

Well you've made a decision haven't you? I was alone after school from the age of about 8 with care of my six year old brother. We had a glass of drink left on the table and a sandwich in the fridge and mum would be home about 90 mins later. We did out home work it played out in the garden depending on our ages. As we got to 11plus we were allowed more freedom.

Well, it’s lovely you feel sorry for the children but I can assure you neither of my children were sad in child care and in their 20s now talk very fondly of the people who looked after them. Plus I only have 5 years left on my mortgage and a good pension. No regrets here.

It sounds like you have made your choice - you aren’t willing to work more.

Working part time as a single parent means affording to save for a deposit and get a mortgage isn’t going to be possible.

Many, many parents have to work full time, even if not their preference, to ensure financial stability for their families.

I work in children safeguarding and that would raise concerns. My DC is 8 and I wouldn't do that

Do you really think you will need to work school hours term time only when your son is 18?

edited typos

Thanks but I’m there for my children plenty, full time doesn’t equal not there for your kids, your decision to be part time is of course also perfectly valid, but you can’t have it all. Plenty of kids are able to attend wrap around care until 5pm without being upset by their parents not being around, and the perk of that is that they have a few different opportunities and are better off financially when they are older and need that.

Nobody is suggesting you work 50 hours a week and don’t see them. But my jobs not term time and I still get 5.5 weeks annual leave to take in the holidays with them and don’t work on bank holidays and can attend sports day etc because my job is family friendly (and no not a high earner). Eventually I should be able to WFH which will be great when they’re teens. Basically there are a lot of full time jobs out there that work for single parents and you do have options if you want to look at them, it’s a lifestyle choice not to which is absolutely fine, but it’s best to make peace with that rather than giving yourself a hard time for it.