How on earth am I suppose to do this!!

[Summersparkles123]

I'm mid thirties. Never owed a property. Since mum to 1 DC. Had to take a job in a school term time to work around my DC as I have no outside support to enable childcare to look after them in the school holidays.
How on earth am I ever supposed to 1. Save a deposit for a house and 2. Earn enough to be able to borrow enough for a house.
I just feel so down. I don't know what else I can possibly do. I'm the highest paid I can be in the sector I'm in but it's still not enough.
Got another 10 or so years until DC is independent from me and I can work 52 weeks of the year. I still don't even know if that's enough.
Solo/single parents how did you do it?? People may say work more but I don't want to not be there for my child.

This is ridiculous! Your child will be able to be left during the holidays (and undoubtedly enjoy the freedom) from much younger than this.

I don’t know anyone who used holiday clubs after their child was about 12-13, unless it was something that was interest based, like a football club.

if you want a house and more financial security, get a full time job (or at least part time, but not term time only) and use holiday clubs.

if you want to be at home with your child in the holidays, then accept that you will not own a house for the next 10 years at least, and stop complaining.

That’s your choice then isn’t it. Very few people can afford to have everything in life. You’ve chosen to work part time around your DCs school. Others choose to work more and then can afford to buy a house and live more comfortably. You made your choice so now live with it or change it.

My DH works full time and I work 4 days a week. Both DCs went to year round nursery and now DDs in school she goes to wraparound care for some of the week and school holiday clubs. I could choose to work less but I prefer to have the money to give my DCs a comfortable life, stable home and savings for when they need it for university and their own house deposits. Giving them experiences and opportunities and setting them up in life is important to me. Others prioritize staying at home and that’s fine too, but you can’t choose to stay at home more and then complain about not having enough money to do other things.

When mine were little, I had help from my mum, my partner, nursery care and wraparound school care. As a teacher, I accepted that I wouldn't always be around at drop off and pick up times and I didn't attend sports days and school plays. It was the choice I made for a better life for us. I wasn't always there but I always put them first.

15/16?! I'm not sure if this a serious thread or you are trying to be goady?

If not - Respectfully OP - please take heed of the comments from the other posters.

It sounds like they are still young enough for you to turn this around, up your hours, get more money, whatever you need to do.

Single Mums particularly - have to get back to work not just for their children but also for themselves. And I am saying this as one, so not condescending at all.

Your children will not thank you when you are dependant on them in later life, when they are trying to set up their own lives.

Read the Pension Threads for some additional context from those on the other side. Please. Children Grow.

Not everyone can buy a house. Just the way it is. You’d have to have a huge salary to be able to save £20k for example as well as pay normal bills.

Every Wants to be there for their DC but I worked full time to ensure a good standard of living for them too

I brought a house pre children - I knew I wanted security and that was my first priority.

Mortgage was cheaper than rent, and stayed low as house prices increased.

You also had the opportunity to do this.

You don’t mention the child’s father, where is he? Is he not helping raise the child?

As a parent of two in senior school, trust me, they don’t want to spend summer with you when they are 13 😁

I have a business
sub contract people to do the work on a large scale so I earn 6 figures. I am hoping this will reach 7 in a few years
have dc3 in nursery 4 half days 8:30-12:30 a week
I did shared ownership on a flat to get me on the ladder but saved hard to put a % down so there is no mortgage just a small rent (London/hertfordshire)

you can do it. But not being employed (in my opinion) business is the way to scale and grow rapidly without having to work hard

you just need to find what works for you and know it inside out

Spoken by someone who doesn’t teach clearly. Yes the pay is alright but the hours in the first few years are brutal , not around school hours at all.

I am just answering the question that you asked. I did give a different answer earlier but you don’t want to work full time until your child is almost an adult so that’s not relevant anymore.

You can’t have one adult working part time to support a household and still have a nice life. You have other threads about how you can’t afford this and that so there you go.

When I went back to work I remember stopping the car on the way to a family get together and buying a huge box of cream cakes to take with us. Not something I’d ever done before so my DD’s eyes were like saucers and she asked why we were getting them and I told her just because it was a nice thing to be able to do and I could do things like that now because I was working. I wanted her to have an understanding of that. You work so you can improve your situation.

I’m a single parent. I had zero help so I got a full time job and used wraparound childcare and holiday clubs when I was at work. Sorry OP but plenty of parents have no help and have full time jobs so you can do it!

Your arguments make no sense. You say you wish you had support for childcare so you could work, yet you won’t use the (funded) childcare that is available because “you want to be there for your child yourself”. So… you don’t actually want to work more hours, which is what people who want more money do.

Speaking as a parent of a 15yo where I have worked full time except for 9 months of maternity leave - I stopped needing to pay for any kind of wraparound care once my child was in y7 and the child in question would find the idea hilarious that I might be needed before and after school - I'm just about tolerated. you really don't need to be around straight after school once they are in secondary. They can come home and do homework till you are back. Very minimal childcare in y6. The most difficult years were yR-y3 and if you can afford to stay part time for those years then do. Making friends with other single mums and trying to set up regular swapsie arrangements for after school care (you take mine on Mon & Wed, I take yours on Tue & Thu) can be a huge help but it's easiest with a mum of one like you - mums of multiple kids tend not to go in for arrangements like this.

Agree with PPs, this is broadly about learning to be ok with the consequences of your decisions. You could perhaps post your budget either here on MSE to see if there's anything much to be trimmed, but unless you live somewhere really cheap it's unlikely to afford you home ownership on one part time, TTO income.

Shared ownership is not a bad option if you know your salary will increase in future. Much less deposit is needed.

It means less dead money on rent.

I never had any childcare help but worked full time, I used holiday clubs.

So cheap

mine is £45 for 9/3 and more for 8/6

obv varies area depending

@Summersparkles123 as a single parent hopefully you are claiming uc. They will pay 85% of childcare costs as long as ofsted registered so childcare costing you 15% which is a very good deal

plus towards rent

you can’t be there with them all school holidays etx and earn well - usually one of the other

unless in my case work nights

yes kids want their parents to be there at school time /pick them up etx

but equally the parent needs to earn money and pay for roof over head. Food. Clothes. Bills

miniblondes 8 doesn’t always like me working nights but as I explain to her. I put her to bed and either a friend /family come and stay at mine - or I pay someone to come and stay and she’s asleep while I working

or very Lucky and she stays at school friends once a week

she does the guilt thing and I’ve said well I can work days but means she will be in childcare every day and I won’t be able to pick her up /do things in holidays

as getting older she understands I have to work to pay for everything

If on uc they will expect you to work more hours when think 11/secondary school

Would you want to retrain as a social worker OP? If you have a degree already there are fast track courses of a year (full time) and you would then be on course for a much better wage. It is family friendly too as most roles are hybrid.
You could then look at a shared ownership property which you could maybe borrow some money via a bank for the mortgage and the rental element you could claim UC for.
The problem is the amount the banks will lend you, you are a single applicant which they view as riskier and working part time; they probably won’t lend you much. I was told they’d lend me 80K which where I live would buy me a garage! It’s all very well saying move somewhere cheaper but that’s madness if your whole family is somewhere else, or your child’s father.

ive always worked full time and been there for my children. My children aren't sad - they have a beautiful, secure home, I can pay for their activities, we go on holidays and day trips together and as they got older can support with driving lessons and uni costs.

Yes it means more organisation around work but we have plenty of time together and they have lots of friends and interests from the activities and clubs we explored

i feel sorry for children who don't have secure housing or financial stability as it's a big divider in outcomes

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOnsorry to challenge but I don’t think plenty of single parents become home owners with no deposit or help already. Some yes, but not plenty. There are so many things stacked against you. Most single parent homeowners, like me, have owned a property prior to becoming a single parent.
I have a good job, not by MN standards, and it would be near impossible for me to be given enough for a three bedroom house necessary for two parents. That’s why people continue to rent. It’s often a choice between continuing to rent a two or three bed home or buying your own one bed flat. I would carry on renting.

I'm also a single parent to an 8yo DD. I work full time so do have a mortgage and disposable income. It's not easy and I would love to have the free time you have, but doing it this way enables me to have money for my daughters hobbies and holidays etc. Most children do wraparound clubs and holiday clubs so I don't think it's fair to say this is not possible for you - you just don't want to and that is ok, but it will mean you will have less money

If you choose to work in a part time role that's term time only till your child is 16, then yes, you probably will never be able to buy a house on your single salary! I wouldn't expect you to be able to though and am surprised this is big news to you?!

What is your monthly take-home pay? Whereabouts in ten country do you live?

Then stop moaning about not being able to buy a house.
Choices have consequences.