How on earth am I suppose to do this!!

[Summersparkles123]

I'm mid thirties. Never owed a property. Since mum to 1 DC. Had to take a job in a school term time to work around my DC as I have no outside support to enable childcare to look after them in the school holidays.
How on earth am I ever supposed to 1. Save a deposit for a house and 2. Earn enough to be able to borrow enough for a house.
I just feel so down. I don't know what else I can possibly do. I'm the highest paid I can be in the sector I'm in but it's still not enough.
Got another 10 or so years until DC is independent from me and I can work 52 weeks of the year. I still don't even know if that's enough.
Solo/single parents how did you do it?? People may say work more but I don't want to not be there for my child.

What’s your current housing situation OP? In your case, you’d likely be better off in a Housing Association property. It’s a ‘house for life’ effectively and you’ll never have to worry about maintenance or upgrades. I grew up in one and while that means my parents didn’t have a house to leave me, it’s not something that ever bothered me. You can’t rely on that anyway as lots of people need to use their homes for care costs etc.

If you’re looking for a secure home and want to continue working PT, this would be a good option. Home ownership comes with all kinds of costs, not to mention fluctuating interest rates at remortgage time too.

You could become a childminder so you are with your child. I earned 24k a year childminding 10 years ago. Or keep current job and do a holiday club.

Have you looked at if you would be better off working full time and paying for childcare?

You could look for similar safeguarding roles all year round with work from home options. Could your child walk home from school from y5 and on days you are in office go to after school club.

I would say year 7 or 8 is fine for going home alone.

it is tough though, I’m 15 years older than you and housing was a lot more affordable when I started out. I bought my first house at 20 for 24k with 0% deposit. When exdh and I divorced ten years later I extended the mortgage by 20k to buy him out and kept the house.

Wrap around care and holiday club or if have hired full time earning potential a Nanny. What do you think everyone else does?

You are being precious. Go full time when DC goes to secondary.

in my DC’s cohort, only two Mums don’t work full time

You've made your choice then. You want a nice little school-hours, term-time-only job so you can be there 100% got your child until he's 16.

That's lovely, but the consequences are you won't be able to afford a comfortable financially secure life and home with that choice.

If you want to save a deposit for a home, you'll need to work more like other people have to do, and use childcare.

You've made your choice, other people make theirs.

You can't have it all.

@Summersparkles123 I’m sad for your dc who won’t get to inherit a house and probably doesn’t go on amazing holidays due to your work choices.

I dont agree with this. My DS is 16 in a few months and still spends weekends and holidays with me. We have loads planned.

I have loads planned with my 22 years old but if he wanted to do everything with me, it would be unhealthy. Why wouldn’t he want to spend most of his time with his friends? We have a good time but preferring his mum to his friends?? No, thanks.

And yes, mine was more interested to spend time with his friends than with me since he was a child, he just gained more freedom at 13.

All of his friends are the same. They chat online and play online but dont actually spend time together and do things. My niece and her friends are the same.

Time online with their friends is time together with their friends, not with us, we are just hanging at the perimeter until they need dinner. I think

First and foremost, I think you should be thinking of the security of your child. Therefore, get a full time job, or some kind of side hustle you can do at home alongside your current job, to start building up a deposit and leave the godawful current private rent sector. The RRB is coming, but rents will keep increasing. It’s hugely unlikely you’ll get a mortgage, so I would aim for shared ownership. You’re not the most important person here.

You can’t cry about wanting something but do nothing about it.

Got another 10 or so years until DC is independent from me and I can work 52 weeks of the year.
You don’t plan on working full time until he’s 18?
Will you spend the next ten years simply wishing that your situation was different?
What does that teach your son?