How to give money fairly to children

[PetaMatt]

Following my mother's death I have inherited a large sum and I want to use it to help my children onto the property ladder (I am taking advice about varying the will).

I am due to receive about £800k. Where DS1 lives, a decent one bed flat costs about £250k. Where DS2 lives it would be more like £350k. I know they are both keen to buy a flat.

WWYD-

1. give them each the price of a one bed flat (£250k and £350k)
2. give them each the price of a one bed flat as above plus give DS1 an extra £100k
3. give them each the price of a one bed flat as above and reflect the £100k difference in my will
4. give them each £250k and suggest DS2 gets a mortgage for the difference
5. something else?

I don't need the money myself although I will appreciate the security of having whatever is left.

Split the difference and give them £300k each. And just wanted to say how lovely that is of you

I don't understand why you would give anything other than the same amount.

Why would you base it upon the house prices of where they currently live, lives change, circumstances change, that's not a reason to give one child 100k more than another.
If I was given 250k it would be unreal but to then be told my sister was given 350k because she decided to live in a better/more expensive area would be pretty horrible.
Just give them the same and enjoy watching them make an amazing life with it.

First of all - this money was left to YOU. Do you need it? What's your pension provision? What about your old age planning?

Aside from that, yes, treat both equally. It's not DS1's fault that DS2's flat costs £100k more. Can't they get mortgages?

You give them the same amount.

Where they live NOW may have different property costs, but either/both could end up moving to cheaper/more expensive areas later so the value of your gift will change and be disproportionate. Giving one of them more now will ultimately be inequitable and you will sow the seeds of animosity. I’d give them both £250k and let them decide how to invest/save/spend it.

I'd give them both the same eg £300k each and leave it to them how they spend it. My db died last year and because he made his will only days before he died we decided he'd leave his (small) estate to our parents and they'd do a Deed of Variation afterwards. Obviously this makes sense for tax planning and to ensure they'll be no issues if parents need to enter a care home. Probably not an issue in your situation!

What about YOU @PetaMatt ?

Do you have a decent pension? Do you own your house outright? Savings fir rainy days too (like if you suddenly can’t work, have increased health needs, want to go private for health checks/treatments).

Its very generous of you to want to ensure your two dcs have a roof over their heads and to pay for it.
But there isn’t much left for you.
lId start with protecting yourself and your retirement. THEN gift your dcs the same lump sum. The DEPOSIT, not the whole house/flat. (You might also want to talk to them about ring fencing that money too)

Maybe this will be controversial, but remember that your mother will have wanted you to benefit from this money as well. I don’t know how old you are or what your financial situation is without the inheritance but you want to be able to have a comfortable retirement yourself and live well.
I would gift them the same with an amount regardless, £250k or £350k, dependent on your own financial situation and how much of a nest egg you need for your own future

Either give them the same or even it out in your will.

my siblings have borrowed money from our parents to buy their houses. What they owe will be taken off their inheritance.

Give them the exact same amount - I have a more expensive home than my brother and my dad gifted us the same amount to help with the down payment (nowhere near what you are talking about though, what a gift!). It's my choice to have a bigger home and my responsibility to finance it.

Nothing wrong with a mortgage and you are giving them both an equal chance.

I agree with most other posters - you should give them the same amount of money. Also, like some/many others, I suggest you really consider how much you give them and how much you keep for yourself.

I would give £250k to each.
Would encourage them to look if possible at the cost of small houses rather than flats (maybe easier resale later?)

Give them the same amount regardless of where they choose to live. It will turn sour if you give one more than the other, perhaps not soon but surely will further on in years.

Give them the same, obviously. They might move later to a different area, or have any other kind of change of circumstances. If you could do with a bit of security yourself, you don't need to gift them a whole flat - let them choose how much to spend and get a mortgage on the remainder if needed, its what most people have to do.

Give them the same, giving one of them more is just favouritism and the one who gets less will resent it.

My BIL always gets handouts from his parents (he is 60, single, no kids) because “poor X” needs it more than other family members even though he is already retired and was earning over £100k but it was his choice to buy the 4 bed house in a very expensive neighbourhood using the profit from his parents house sale as the deposit!

Treat them the same.

Give them the same

Echoing practically everyone else - give them the same amount. That's the fair thing.

What an amazing chance for your children. I'd give them both £250k. That seems the fairest to me - and very generous.

Give them the same. Always. Anything else is a recipe for family fallouts, and resentment.

I agree with PP. don’t give them different amounts - it can create tension and I personally would want to avoid that. Personally I would give 300k each and let them handle the rest (if they need a mortgage or not) it’s a huge pressure off for them and generous of you. and keep 200k for yourself and your retirement

I'd give them £250k each if you're happy to be left with £300k.

They can choose to spend it on a flat in their current areas, or move somewhere that they can get more property for their money. If they want to use it as a deposit and get a small(er) mortgage, they could do that too.

give them £400k each

Whatever you do give them both the same amount

Give them both the same amount- whatever that is. Maybe 300 each

Options 2 or 4, depending on how much you want to keep.
You also can give them the same sum like 200k-250k and they can use it for a big deposit, they may not want just a one bed flat they may look for something more long term. That will be on them.

Meet in the middle. Give them 300k each that way the one in the more expensive area will have wriggle room to find one for or near to that price and the one in the cheaper area will have money to set himself up properly buy furniture etc.