How to give money fairly to children

[PetaMatt]

Following my mother's death I have inherited a large sum and I want to use it to help my children onto the property ladder (I am taking advice about varying the will).

I am due to receive about £800k. Where DS1 lives, a decent one bed flat costs about £250k. Where DS2 lives it would be more like £350k. I know they are both keen to buy a flat.

WWYD-

1. give them each the price of a one bed flat (£250k and £350k)
2. give them each the price of a one bed flat as above plus give DS1 an extra £100k
3. give them each the price of a one bed flat as above and reflect the £100k difference in my will
4. give them each £250k and suggest DS2 gets a mortgage for the difference
5. something else?

I don't need the money myself although I will appreciate the security of having whatever is left.

Give them exactly the same. It is the only fair way.

The one who is living in the more expensive area is wanting a more expensive thing, of course that's going to be more difficult for them but it would be totally unreasonable to therefore give them more. There's nothing stopping them from moving to a cheaper area if they choose, and indeed the one who is currently living in a cheaper area may one day want to move to a more expensive area for their work.

Whatever you do will help both of them immensely. Don't overthink it, but keep things equal.

Whatever you do, make it equal. Perhaps £300k each so they are both mortgage free (or nearly so)! If one needs a £50k mortgage that is tiny!

DH and siblings were all given £250k by parents. He used it as 50% deposit for a flat in London, older brother got a mortgage on a family home and younger sister bought a two bed flat outright (and had some change!) in the northern city they are from.

Each sibling was treated fairly and bought the housing that suited their current work and family situation. It would have been unfair on younger sister if DH and his brother had been given more money because they needed a larger property or had chosen to live in a more expensive city.

Both exactly the same amount - anything else will cause resentment.
300 or 350 or even 400 each if you don’t need it. Avoid the IHT while you can, but absolutely equal is the way to go - not the one in the cheaper areas fault what the house prices are!

This is what I would do

Of course exactly the same amount - whether that's £250k each, £300 or £350. Anything else isn't fair at all?

I have one DS who lives in a very expensive area the others is a bit cheaper. We have always gifted them the same. Likewise their incomes differs, as does their wives. One has a child the other doesn’t. So many variables happen in life. You’ll never be able to balance it out, so we’ve always given the same, Nothing like the sum you have to gift though.

Definitely 100% give them the same amount. No question about that. Whether you want to give them each £350k or a little less to have more for yourself is up to you.

Of course you give them the same. Ridiculous to think otherwise.

Yes, and their property will likely increase more in price so they will be doubly advantaged.

I am honestly perplexed by the thought process of the OP and why you’d even consider unequal gifts.

Give them 250k each or 350k each if you.can afford it

Separately your kids are SO SO lucky!!!!!!

I would give them both the same amount. You decide if that's 250 or 350.

You need to give them the same amount. Otherwise it's unfair.

Give them the same (however much you want)

I'd gift £250k each. I'd definitely keep it fair.

I would give them 300 each.

What tinned tuna do they buy? If one likes an expensive brand you should probably give them more to cover the cost.

Definitely provide the same amount of money to each. Either child might choose to combine your contribution with a mortgage to meet their personal preference and long term goals for housing.

I can’t believe anyone would give their children different amounts based on where they live. ‘Oh, you live in the ghetto so here is a shiny sixpence whilst Darien gets half a million because he lives in Chigwell.’

I bet Darien does eat £6.25 a tin tuna to boot. 🎣

Could you give them both 300k? Kinda like middle ground for both.

How about splitting £300k each?

Then son who lives in cheaper place has some extra and son who lives more expensive place can get just a small mortgage.

That leaves you £200k for you for a nest egg/ retirement or gifting more in a few years time.

I wouldn’t limit yourself too much for your future currently as pensions may change with current climate.

If they have property outright and small mortgage it gives them a chance to build there’s up too.

Give them both £250k or £350k. You must give them the same if you want to be fair.

Just because one lives in a more expensive area doesn't mean they should get more money. Their property will still be worth more in future years.

£300K each and you keep the rest - you say you don't need it, but you don't know what the future holds. It's irrelevant that one of your sons lives in a more expensive area than his sibling.

Definitely same amount .