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136 replies

jessicasmummy · 16/01/2005 19:36

Sorry this may end being quite long...

when my DH was with his ex girlfriend she took out a loan in her name only on a joint account they had (DH in Kosovo at the time) as their joint account was seriously over drawn. Since DH and his ex split, he has been paying the loan repayment each month. We havent been able to afford it in december or indeed in january... christmas etc, and she is now phoning threatening legal action. My view was that she hasnt got a leg to stand on because she is the one who holds the loan so to speak. I also feel that if it was on a joint account surely she should be responsible for half the loan amount anyway.
Can anyone help as DH has got to phone the phsyco woman back tonight to sort things out and tell her where we stand..... PLEASE?

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munnzieb · 29/01/2005 13:49

I think it's a cheek they ask you for the money to go and it's implied you have to turn up of you'll be an outcast! as I say thou DH normally goes alone as most of his troop are single/dating each other and I don't fancy being the only wife, thou I may well go to this yrs summer dance thing, it's normally theamed and I ahve a friend who's DH is in the same SQN so at least i'll know her. (looks a bit sus if i'm the only wife and am talk to all his mates - tounges are bad for wagging on our estate, althou I did start a roumer off about me and DH to see how far it went! he he) he found it funny anyhow.

jessicasmummy · 29/01/2005 13:51

the tittle tattle is amazing! the latest is that my mate is apparently pg and showing yet her dh only got back from iraq a week before xmas!!! Well you can imagine the rumours!

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munnzieb · 29/01/2005 13:55

well yes! we've had one similar where a woman was PG but the dates she gave her DH were not the date's she told everyone else, she made it look like the baby was one month prem when he was born to fit with what she'd told her DH, anyhow he wasn't and looked like another bloke up the road! (they moved not long after!)

The jungle drums were beating after DH left cos I took to painting the house to keep busy, so of course all the nets/curtains came down, to which there was a bit of wonder what she's doing, then one of my so called friends (but that's another thread) asked what I was doing so I told her whilst DH was in Iraq I was running off with a sailor i'd met so was doing a midnight flit and leaveing DH to be with my Sailor and our 3 illigitimate but charming children! Naturally it was bollocks, I just want ed to keep my mind busy! she thought I was serious thou! DH found it highly amusing, as I said to him if I didn't start the roumer myslef soemone else would have done, so I got int here first!

jessicasmummy · 29/01/2005 14:36

makes u laugh really! its as if people have nothing better to do than gossip about others... i tend to keep myself to myself round here, ime its the best course to take! The only plus side to going out tonight is that i can get plastered, tell dh's boss what a C**C he is and get away with it by blaming it on the drink - HOORAH!

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munnzieb · 29/01/2005 15:07

lol, innit, now that hon, sounds like a plan! what's the top like u got? £3 sound's like a right bargin.

jessicasmummy · 29/01/2005 18:36

its a strappy number - pink and white.... well smart. all dolled up now - just waiting for the evil MIL to arrive.... knowing our luck she will be late!

Hope you have a good evening, and if you're about in the morning ill catch you then - i will be in no state to speak later!!! Its gonna be a good one if i have my way!

Take care hon... x

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munnzieb · 29/01/2005 18:36

lol, atta girl! have a good one hon, and don't let her get u down!

jessicasmummy · 30/01/2005 09:07

i feel rough.....

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Elf1981 · 30/01/2005 10:54

Hi Jessicasmummy

Sounds like you had a good night! Bet it felt nice to be out.

BTW, just read through this thread. Has everything worked out with DH ex?
I can understand your frustration. Not sure if has been resolved, but my sis had the same kind of experience.
When she was young, she took out a store card, and her boyfriend spend a lot of money on it getting clothes. She also had two mobile phones, one was his, and he ran up a lot of calls about it. They split up, and my sister had to pay everything back.
She couldn't claim money from him, as in the courts eyes, everything was in her name. Even though he'd spent the money.
Six years down the line, she was finally free of the debt, though this was after going to court for claims (or rather being taken to court!) and struggling to get a mortgage due to debt.
So IMO your DH is not responsible for making a penny payment. My DH&I have a joint account, but if he took out a loan to clear an overdraft on it, the loan would still be his responsibility to pay.
Stop making any more payments. If she wants the money that much, she'll go to solicitors and be told to GROW UP. She does not have a leg to stand on.
If you DH did not sign any paperwork, he does not have to give her a penny.

As for you MIL. I totally sympathise. I have two MIL's as DH is blessed with a stepmum. Oddly, I get on with his stepmum really well!
I struggle to even be in the same room as his mum. DH brother is a bit of a tearaway (though older than DH) and nobody in the family liked his girlfriend. Then they had a baby, and everybody forgot he'd treated people like dirt.
During the worst part of arguments, BIL fell out with FIL because the pram he'd brought for GS was not brand new. BIL refused to talk to FIL for about eight months. Resulted in loads of agony, but it has all been forgiven for sake of BIL baby.
We haven't spoken them in nearly a year after all the shocking stuff they did at our wedding. I'm talking about stealing, and smoking pot, and offering to sell pot. And being late for the ceromony. Not once was there an apology, and we have incurred a lot of flack from MIL about it. She thinks we should apologise to him!
Never mind! I do get the comment about MIL's being great while you're only the girlfriend!
During the run up to the wedding, I had huge arguments with DH sis, and even now I get mad about it.
Have told DH that when we do have kids, I don't want all the people that have ignored us for the past year or so to pop up. I would never use my child in that manner, and wont tolerate people doing it either.

Hope you hangover fades!!!!!

munnzieb · 30/01/2005 10:57

JM - well that's what you get for going out boozin! lol, it was a good night I take it!

aloha · 30/01/2005 11:16

The more I think about this the more your dh's ex sounds like a stalker and the advice with stalkers is always the same - ignore, ignore, ignore. Visit the CAB to be absolutely sure of your position, but DON'T answer her calls, don't meet her, speak to her etc - ever. Change your telephone numbers if you can face it, otherwise screen your calls. Don't write, don't contact her in any way. I suspect she is enjoying your unhappiness and stress and the feeling of power it gives her. As others have said, a loan in her name is her debt, not yours, not your dh's. Do go to the CAB to put your mind at rest, tell the army that your dh is being stalked/harrassed by an ex-girlfriend and refuse any more contact with her.

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