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Original poster

URGENT ADVICE NEEDED

136 replies

jessicasmummy · 16/01/2005 19:36

Sorry this may end being quite long...

when my DH was with his ex girlfriend she took out a loan in her name only on a joint account they had (DH in Kosovo at the time) as their joint account was seriously over drawn. Since DH and his ex split, he has been paying the loan repayment each month. We havent been able to afford it in december or indeed in january... christmas etc, and she is now phoning threatening legal action. My view was that she hasnt got a leg to stand on because she is the one who holds the loan so to speak. I also feel that if it was on a joint account surely she should be responsible for half the loan amount anyway.
Can anyone help as DH has got to phone the phsyco woman back tonight to sort things out and tell her where we stand..... PLEASE?

OP posts:
katzguk · 17/01/2005 12:23

i can't believe she suggested that your inheritance should pay for her and DH's holiday!!

Amanda3266 · 17/01/2005 12:38

jessicasmummy
I don't think you need any money. The debt is hers not yours - let her do what she wants. My guess is that any solicitor will tell her not to be so bloody stupid - I think CAB will tell you the same. Your hubby is not liable for this debt - she is - that's the end of it. He's very generously paid half of it back (or even more) and the rest is up to her. It's her they will chase. I've a feeling that in some situations CAB have solicitors who can help free of charge.

Got to go, toddler yelling in my ear!!!

Mandy

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 17/01/2005 12:38

Tell me about it! Cheeky B* sparang to mind as well as upsetting me beyond all recognition

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horseshoe · 17/01/2005 16:44

Is the loan def in her name only??? I guess it was as you say DH was away at the time. Therefore he couldn't of given his consent to the loan as he couldn't of signed for it... Therefore he couldn't of consented to a credit check and would not be liable for any monies to be repaid.

Regardless of where the money is paid from (My Dh gives my banking details all of the time to repay insurance etc) if he did not sign that loan contract, he is not liable for the loan....

However, if the bank that gave the overdraft issued the loan and used it to imediately pay back the overdraft....things may be different but if thats the case..DH would be able to phone the bank himself and ask them.

If it was an independent loan...regardless of why it was used then she only is liable.

horseshoe · 17/01/2005 16:47

Furthermore........I would warn her that should she continue her demands for money..... You will be the one taking her to court on the grounds of "emotional blackmail" and will be requesting a full refund on what DH has already paid for her...

How dare she use your mother as a way of getting her loan paid back. Cheeky b*tch.

weightwatchingwaterwitch · 17/01/2005 16:51

ha ha at the thought of there being such a crime as emotional blackmail! I thought we'd decided (to quote pph) to dispense with the diy legal advice?

horseshoe · 17/01/2005 17:01

Sorry I was trying to help based on past experience..........i'll keep shut in future.

horseshoe · 17/01/2005 17:08

Plus....the bit about emotional blackmail wasn't legal advice....I didn't say take her to court...I said threaten her..it may worry her into dropping the case....But yes someone did use "emotional blackmail" as a defense against a friend of mine and funny enough it got to court.

Freckle · 17/01/2005 17:08

Can you sit down and do some sums? What was the amount of the original loan? What is the total repayable, including interest if the loan continues for the full 5 years? How much has your dh paid to date?

Take the loan + interest figure, divide in 2. If your dh has paid this amount or more, then he has fulfilled his moral responsibility. If he has paid less, then pay up to half the total and no more.

If the loan was taken out in her name only, then she has sole liability (as far as the lender is concerned). If she chooses to pursue your dh through the courts, the courts might find that he has a moral liability. However, if he can show that he has paid his share regardless of any legal liability, then it is extremely unlikely that she would have any success.

Oh and don't talk to her yourself. It is between your dh and her.

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 17/01/2005 17:09

no squabbling please... im not gonna go solely on advice sought here, but past experiences help a lot. i cant brlievev her comment was almost 24 hours ago and im still so angry!

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horseshoe · 18/01/2005 09:20

Is it perhaps possible do you think that she could be jelous that you two are together with a little one and by getting him to pay this loan she has some kind of hold over him???? I'm only asking as I cant believe that any reasonable person would make such a demand on you as what she did without some kind of resentment thing going on!!!

munnzieb · 18/01/2005 09:35

i'm assumin here by you saying Kosovo he's in the militry? What i'd do is a) see either the mil. lawyer whom I belive are free or, have a chat to one of his seniors, or even the padre, they are normally v helpful (going on other ppls comments i've had no personal exp there) anyhow, I'd stop paying her any money of any sort, bloomin cheek. as if everuythings in her name it has nothing to do with your DH. Failing all of that and he doesn't want to take the prob to work as it were, i'd go to lloydstsb (where the loan come from) and have a chat to some one there on where he stands, they won't discuss the loan with your DH but will talk in general terms I think. I suspect they'll say it's EP problem, but I suppose as long as they get their money they won't really care who pays it.

I'd be weary that the money you are paying is actually being paid to the loan company and not just goin in her pocket. In that instance she's prob in legal probs of her own. She's a lot of cheek thou if you ask me.

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 20/01/2005 21:13

Well things have gone from bad to worse since i posted this thread on sunday night. She (DH's ex) has not got any of the evidence she said she would get to frame DH into paying for the whole amount of the loan, she hung up on me last night after trying to get things sorted with her, and when i tried to call back her MUMMY had the cheek to say "once more young lady and i'll call BT and have you arrested for harrassment". Her mother then called DH's mum to try and get her involved, and thanfully MIL just laughed in her face and said she wasnt getting involved. DH is 26 years old, and ex is 21 - surely old enough to look after their own affairs! DH's ex has now said she would pay half of the loan, but only half the loan amount, not including interest. We worked it out that DH has paid £3324.65 towards this loan, and according to her, the week before xmas there was only £2349.00 left, but she is only willing to pay £1800.00 (half the original loan amount plus insurance) and requested £500.00 last night. To top it all, she got her sister to talk on the phone acting as a solicitor working for such and such a company and after researching the Law Society web site, suprise suprise, they dont exist. Like she would be standing outside tesco's on a wednesday night at 8.25pm with a solicitor!!! Her mummy had advised she would be contacting her solicitor this morning, well no calls tonight so assuming they realise they havent got a leg to stand on. Now for the advice bit... do i compose a letter requesting that they no longer contact me directly and request any further correspondence to be via mail either from them or their acting solicitor? This is all doing my head in!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
jessicasmummy · 20/01/2005 21:20

Bumpety Bump

OP posts:
aloha · 20/01/2005 21:24

Just IGNORE her! Don't write and STOP talking to her on the phone!!! You are driving yourself mad with this and you really don't have to. It's her loan and as long as your dh has been fair and paid half of the total amount inc interest then he is off the hook morally too.
You really must stop talking to her. And as for calling her back....tsk tsk! Just put the phone down and walk away....
I think you are both (you and dh) wasting too much emotional energy on this. If you feel worried that she will 'do something' to you legally then visit a citizen's advice bureau with all the necessary info to hand. Otherwise just get your dh to tell her the same thing over and over again - "I've paid half out of goodwill. It is your debt and your responsibility and I refuse to get involved. Now please stop calling me."

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 20/01/2005 21:27

Thanks aloha... i just called to get it sorted which i know was the wrong thing now. I just dont want to get a call from her out the blue. i would rather have everything in writing for evidence more than anything. We left it on sunday that she would call after visiting bank, and as 3 days had passed with no call i wondered what was going on. im on the edge of my seat each time the phone rings at the moment!!!

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piffle · 20/01/2005 21:31

Tell her as has been said on here before, you are seeking legal advice and have been advised not to discuss it further, you will advise of of your solicitors name in due course.
If she continues to harass you, you may be forced to take out an order to prevent her contacting you.
If she is blagging which I think she is, then you will get to her in the end, she is stressed as she thought it was sorted and now it's not.

aloha · 20/01/2005 21:32

Why don't you take a trip to the CAB to put your mind at rest? I don't think anything else will really work. Then if she calls just say you have nothing to discuss with her and put the phone down.

munnzieb · 20/01/2005 21:33

Is till don't see why you should pay her bills for her. but still there we go, I would jot down thou any contact she makes with you just incase. And most def would not contact her further. I do think it's a good idea to either talk to CAB or do one of those first hr free solicitor thingys. just so you all know you and ur DH stand. She's prob got herself into a bit too much trouble and wants you to bail her out, (but I don't know her so might be barking up the wrong tree with that theory??)

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 20/01/2005 21:34

I think you're right Piffle. She is stressed about it and she cant stop crying on the phone which winds me up even more. Right. Im gonna do it. Forget about it. If she calls - we dont wanna talk. END OF STORY!!! (god im being brave now!)

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munnzieb · 20/01/2005 21:36

(pull the plug out of the phone until you talk to CAB and get ur family to ring your mob if it's really stressing you out that much, or just ignore the phone completely. Can you ask BT to bar her number? (I don't know if they can do that or not?)

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 20/01/2005 21:38

I cant as i am on call to my dad day and night at the moment - following mum's death, he tends to phone anytime up to 11pm at night and as early as 7am so not realyl an option. Hadn't thought about calling BT....

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Soraya1 · 21/01/2005 19:19

Hi Jessicasmummy, I've had a quick read of the thread like you asked.

Firstly, don't talk to this woman on the phone any more. Ask her to put any concerns she has in writing and respond to her only in writing. If she wants to talk, suggest a face to face meeting but take a witness with you and write down every damn thing that is said, even if it takes all day. Or, record the conversation but make sure you get her written consent to do that or it could backfire.

Secondly, without seeing any paperwork it is impossible to know who is liabel for what BUT if the loan was in her name AND if she was never married to your husband then I doubt he can be held liable. The bit that worries me is you say it was done on their joint account - I'm not sure quite what you mean by that but it may render him liable if the finds were paid into their joint account as he was legally in receipt of the loan as well as her.

Please note I am not an expert in this area and this should not be taken as proper legal advice - please get an opinion from someone who has experience in this.

Good luck.

ps please excuse typos!

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 21/01/2005 19:26

Thanks soraya... we have left it at the moment that we will wait to see what we get from her. We are going to CAB on Tuesday... earliest they can see us. DH is in the Army and can get legal advice through them, but we dont want to speak with them until we have something from her first as to what she is doing (might comprimise his job or something) The loan was taken out by her and deposited into the joint account. The money paid off a £1200 overdraft and the additional £2000 paid for a holiday to Corfu for the pair of them inc spending money. What gets me is that she has suddenly changed her tune and is willing to pay half the loan amount not including interest so a bit concerned that she realises DH cannot be held liable for the entire amount. THank you for reading and giving your opinion. By no means would i go solely on MN advice, however correct it may be. MUCH THANKS {{{{HUGS}}}}

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Original poster
jessicasmummy · 27/01/2005 12:02

We have today recd a letter from the ex saying unless she has immediate payment of £2349.00 she will contact dh's welfare officer to obtain an attachment of earnings.... anyone know if she can do this. im so upset by all this. CAB have replied to my email saying we can take her to court to get the whole amount we have paid back?!

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