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Money matters

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Original poster

URGENT ADVICE NEEDED

136 replies

jessicasmummy · 16/01/2005 19:36

Sorry this may end being quite long...

when my DH was with his ex girlfriend she took out a loan in her name only on a joint account they had (DH in Kosovo at the time) as their joint account was seriously over drawn. Since DH and his ex split, he has been paying the loan repayment each month. We havent been able to afford it in december or indeed in january... christmas etc, and she is now phoning threatening legal action. My view was that she hasnt got a leg to stand on because she is the one who holds the loan so to speak. I also feel that if it was on a joint account surely she should be responsible for half the loan amount anyway.
Can anyone help as DH has got to phone the phsyco woman back tonight to sort things out and tell her where we stand..... PLEASE?

OP posts:

weightwatchingwaterwitch · 16/01/2005 20:07

Well if he's paid half or more and she's working and was half responsible for the loan/overdraft then I wouldn't even say he's got a moral obligation to carry on paying really. If it's in her sole name I doubt VERY much that she'll get anywhere with taking any action at all against him. So if he does't want to make payments then he should tell her so and leave her to pay the rest.
(AM NOT A LAWYER THOUGH!)

Original poster

jessicasmummy · 16/01/2005 20:07

think they have been binned. we are going back at least 2 years now

OP posts:

weightwatchingwaterwitch · 16/01/2005 20:07

If I were him Id close the joint account pronto. If he hasnt already

hercules · 16/01/2005 20:08

I would stop paying. I cant see what she could do although I know nothing about the law either.

Original poster

jessicasmummy · 16/01/2005 20:09

joint account has been closed for years... because the payments are coming out of her own account... are we in agreement that he phones her to say no more payments?

OP posts:

SenoraPostrophe · 16/01/2005 20:10

unless the loan is huge I would have thought that the legal expenses/difficulty of proving a verbal agreement would make it unlikely that she would actually go to court.

She's trying to scare you.

Original poster

jessicasmummy · 16/01/2005 20:10

we think there is about £1800 left

OP posts:

SenoraPostrophe · 16/01/2005 20:13

I would stop paying, yes.

weightwatchingwaterwitch · 16/01/2005 20:14

Me too given her circs and yours.

zebra · 16/01/2005 20:15

Agree with SenoraP & WWWW. Stop paying.

Original poster

jessicasmummy · 16/01/2005 21:08

Really really upset now...

not sure where to go with all this. DH's ex had basically said she reckons i should pay her out of any inheritance i get/got following the death of my mum... now me only being 22 and losing my mum 2 weeks after jessica was born, i dont feel that was the best thing to say and what a damn cheek!

DH has said that the money left over from the loan, paid for him and his ex to go on holiday. THerefore to me, i feel this loan is a 50/50 thing, and as there is only 2 years out of 5 left to run, he has paid his share.

Anyone know of a fellow MN member who has a legal background????

OP posts:

hercules · 16/01/2005 21:10

I really, really really wouldnt recommend taking any sort of legal advice from a chat room.

Original poster

jessicasmummy · 16/01/2005 21:10

im not after advice as such... just maybe who the best people to contact are outside of the mn world!

OP posts:

weightwatchingwaterwitch · 16/01/2005 21:11

Jessica'smy, sorry about your mum. I suggest your dh just stops talking to her about it, just DON'T get involved! All he has to say is 'I don't want to discuss this thank you' and put the phone down. Or just screen calls for a day or so until she gets fed up.

weightwatchingwaterwitch · 16/01/2005 21:12

Agree with hercules about legal advice. Go to the CAB if you want some futher advice.

moschops · 17/01/2005 09:59

agree with WWWW......go to citizens advice.

the best thing to do in the meantime is to tell her you are seeking legal advice about the matter and have been advised not to talk to her about it.(this should at least buy you some peace and quiet to sort the situation out)

gather any evidence you have of the payments your dh has made into this womans bank account, and get straight down to CAB. DO NOT GIVE THIS WOMAN ANY MORE MONEY until you have some proper legal advice about it.

ps from personal experience when SIL marriage broke up she had a loan in her name to pay a joint debt. she was advised to get a signed, witnessed statement from her DH to say he acknowledged the debt and would give her a lump sum to the value of half the amount.

aloha · 17/01/2005 10:05

And DON'T talk to her on the phone any more. It doesn't matter that she WANTS to talk to you - you don't have to. She clearly resents you and wants to upset you.

Original poster

jessicasmummy · 17/01/2005 10:06

thanks mosschops. i have posted an enquiry to CAB over the internet and they will reply via email within 4 working days... i just cant believe she has the balls to ask for my mums inheritance money as payment... DH rang her this morning and gave her a few choice words about it.

OP posts:

lunavix · 17/01/2005 10:16

I feel so terrible for you that this woman is demanding money from you

Do not give her any, and tell her to f* off. It doesn't sound like your dh was obligated to pay any, and as he has paid half he has more than paid his share.

Do NOT give her any money.

romantick · 17/01/2005 10:34

hello jessicasmummy,my bit of advice for you.
i was married had a joint account with lloyds tsb.we had an overdaft. and a loan in my name despite x spending the money.
i divorced the x the house got sold off to gotowards debts .alot of debts not just the loan.
the overdraft got paid off plus numerous other ones.
the loan did not as it was very high.
only one liable for the loan is me .its in my name even though x spent the money.
so bank chases me .
luckily i am coming into alot of money soon so it will all be paid off.but end of day only i was liable.
i use to have payments of about 250 a month.
i now do a token payment each month of £10.
no interest is put on and i am not bankrupt.
if she wants to take legal action let her.it will cost her to get it into court.at end of the day you can ask the court to reduce the payments etc.the fact that it sounds like the x has not even asked the loan company to freeze the interest is very bad on the x if it came to court.knowing you are struggling with money.
so if worse came to the worse the court would probably tell her off .
i am not a lawyer but do think she will be wasting her time.
i certainly would not give her any money.
creditors are very leniant nowadays.
one of my debts was a 5000 credit card.
they accepted a 1000 as a full and final payoff.as they new i could go bankrupt and they would then not recieve a penny .
well good luck on what ever happens .but dont be afraid.
courts are not that bad on money issues,they often end up helping.
except when you are a father wanting residency.but thats another story

amynnixmum · 17/01/2005 10:35

I watched a program about debt a few weeks ago (sorry can't remember what it was called). There were a couple of people on there who had taken loans out in their name only but for a joint reason with their partner. On the relationship breaking up and the partner refusing to pay their share the person who took out the loan was held entirely responsible for paying it back. Also there was a story on the news before xmas about a family who had taken out a big loan for about 20 grand to help their daughter and sil. The daughter and sil are now refusing to pay the money back and apparently there is nothing the family can do about it. The bank is demanding payment from them. Agree with the others that it sounds like your dh has paid his share - don't let her bully you. at her asking for your inheritance. If you don't want to wait for the CAB to reply to your email could you phone them today?

Original poster

jessicasmummy · 17/01/2005 10:57

amynnikmum and romantik.... you two have been great. thank you so much. sounds like she wont be able to make it stand in court then. im not too scared, more concerned that the hassle is gonna start causing problems on our credit side of things. We are currently with a debt management company sorting out the other stuff we had but this one i feel is nothing to do with us anymore!

OP posts:

Original poster

jessicasmummy · 17/01/2005 11:46

i know this is a long shot, but anyone know of any other organisation that could help my situation other than CAB?

OP posts:

lunavix · 17/01/2005 11:49

a solicitor?

Original poster

jessicasmummy · 17/01/2005 12:05

was hoping for something that wouldnt necessarily cost me money! dont have any to start with!!!!

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