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Original poster

URGENT ADVICE NEEDED

136 replies

jessicasmummy · 16/01/2005 19:36

Sorry this may end being quite long...

when my DH was with his ex girlfriend she took out a loan in her name only on a joint account they had (DH in Kosovo at the time) as their joint account was seriously over drawn. Since DH and his ex split, he has been paying the loan repayment each month. We havent been able to afford it in december or indeed in january... christmas etc, and she is now phoning threatening legal action. My view was that she hasnt got a leg to stand on because she is the one who holds the loan so to speak. I also feel that if it was on a joint account surely she should be responsible for half the loan amount anyway.
Can anyone help as DH has got to phone the phsyco woman back tonight to sort things out and tell her where we stand..... PLEASE?

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munnzieb · 28/01/2005 09:20

hey my DH is a squaddie, and he's v clued up on all this sort of stuff (you're must be an infantry or gunner! lol)

Good luck with everything hon, Would advise against hittin her thou as judgin by the sound of her shes out for what she can get and is after a free ride, so in short I recon she'd try to sue you for GBH or soemthing stupid!

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 28/01/2005 09:26

does he know where we would stand with the army? should we contact fasmilies office or are they gonna say its nothing to do with them? i really just want to know how the army legal system works?

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munnzieb · 28/01/2005 18:02

hon your guess is as good as mine, and DH's in iraq at the mo so I can't ask him, (I don't think he'd know any how) I'd recommend the welfare route, or ask your DH to speak to his SM. when DH went to court for speeding he had his troop OC there, who gave him an excellent report - it's a joke really as that was the first time they had met (that's about as much as I know). But I do know that he seems to think if were were in mega finacial trouble and our creditors contacted the army he'd be in big trouble and wouldn't be able to get promoted, but I don't know if that's just at his unit or not. Best thing to do is ask someone at your unit. Poss the Padre if none of the others are avaliable, I hear they are better at gettin things done than the welfare lads, but i've not had dealings with the padre so I don't know.

I've found this but I doubt it will be of much use to you. best thing is to ask I recon. But don't let this stupid woman get the better of you two. army law

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 28/01/2005 21:05

hi M - thanks so much... sorry to hear DH is in Iraq, hope he is ok, and will be home soon. DH was in Iraq up until 3 days before dd born and went out again 6 days after her birth.

We shall see what welfare can reccomend, and thanks again for all your support xxx

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munnzieb · 28/01/2005 21:21

np hon, if u need a chat just shout, he's away for another 10 weeks and i've just had the call to say he got back to his camp safely, which was a worry. It's the longest we've been apart in the 5.5 yrs weve been together!

hope all is sorted out for you soon hon, Good luck with the TTC, (we are as well, but this bloomin army lark is playin havoc with my plans! )

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 28/01/2005 22:42

i know what u mean!!! He is away on courses from 7th March for 8/9 weeks - so i better have a bun in the oven before then!!!

where are you based??? You have probably already told me but i think i may still have a touch of "baby brain"!!!

we are hoping for a posting pretty soon... just waiting to hear when we can get out of this hell hole! My forst military function tomorrow but thank god its a smart/casual dress code - hoorah, no ball gowns making me look like the back end of a bus!!!!

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munnzieb · 28/01/2005 22:54

ooh you're in the pooosh mess r u! lol, we're based (well he is in wales) where r u guys based?

(sorry hon, i'm the common end who can't be arse with all the tilly tallying that goes on! give me a brew any day of the week! lol, althou, I do want him to be a CPL so I can have my CPL coffee! )

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 28/01/2005 23:03

oh no.... im a mere lcpl wife too. its the chef's xmas "do" as well as a leaving do for a couple of the lads... got their posting orders on wednesday and are supposed to be starting work in their new bases on tuesday - yeah! Great communication effort here! Sorry, where are you based? didnt say?! We are Warminster, Wilts. Bloody boring and sick of all the my husbands better than yours and ive only been an army wife for just over a year!!!

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Original poster
jessicasmummy · 28/01/2005 23:08

off to bed for tonight - dh working tomorrow. catch u tomorrow x

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Original poster
jessicasmummy · 28/01/2005 23:08

off to bed for tonight - dh working tomorrow. catch u tomorrow x

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munnzieb · 28/01/2005 23:10

lol, joing the club hon (thankfully we were together for 4 yrs b4 we got married), on our estate you have 'i'm not talking to you cos ur DH's not in my DH's SQN', and if he is then you get i'm not talking to you either 'cos your DH is an OP and not a tech' and of course the fact i'm a siggy's wife (the lowest of lthe low!) doesn't help, thou I don't care and naturally it's tit's up to everyone else! lol,

Your camp sounds like ours! lol, couldn't arrange a piss up in a brewry! lol. althou, I must admit, u're braver than me!, normally on DH's leavin' do's, all the lads go out together and us wives get left behind, althou judging by some of the stories I don't really want to go! We're in Pembs, Wales.

munnzieb · 28/01/2005 23:11

working on a sat! OMG!

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 29/01/2005 09:17

tell me about it.... its silly because ok, he's a chef, and the singlies need fed, but he's signed off at the moment (long story - back probs) so only allowed to do paper work... not being funny, but there is no paper work to be done at a weekend! This is driving me insane! He should be at home resting and he's not allowed! The xmas do/leaving do thing tonight is open to all the chef wives and i know a lot of the girls are going - so hey, its a night out! we reckon we will be home by about 10 anyway but better than nothing!

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munnzieb · 29/01/2005 09:21

that it is hon, well have a good one. (I suspect DH wants to be at home, but you know what those bloomin w**rs are like at camp! lol

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 29/01/2005 09:26

i know DH wants to be at home... especially as he has nothing to do today - just phoned me and he has finished all the paper work - he only started at 9am! Lets hope he gets knocked off at lunch time so we can spend the afternoon together as a family before evil MIL comes to look after jess tonight.... cant stand the woman!
what ages are your kids??? Ive onyl got jess who is 6 months.

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munnzieb · 29/01/2005 09:31

we're still tryin for our first, (I know what you mean about Evil MIL,) we just had them visit during his R&R for 5 days! (althou she is kniitn me loads of little cardi etc.. in advance!

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 29/01/2005 09:37

well hopefully it will be your year - once dh is back!

MIL's - why are they so evil??? What is it that turns them from a lovely lady when you are simply the "girlfriend" to physco b**ch when you get married??? I dunno... take tonight for instance, DH phoned last night and asked if she could have jess while we went out, she asked if it meant overnight, and we said "if you dont mind" she said she would call dh'd dad and check no plans had been made and phone us back. She phoned back said, of course she would babysit, but she would come to our house therefore meaning we dont get a baby free night... what really winds me up is the fact that she will gladly have her other 2 grandaughters over night at her house, yet not jess. We have had rows about her favouritism towards the other 2 before and got the lovely lady back for a few weeks and then back to this!!!! She just makes me soooo MAD!

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munnzieb · 29/01/2005 09:48

lol, does it have anything to do with the fact jess is younger?

(My MIl has always been the same) thou things were a lot worse when we were living with them, then when DH rejoined and went to basic/2nd Phanse, things were excellent cos I didn't speak to her for almost a yr, (other than text) and now we're married things are better again (even thou we have to talk) cos our policy is it's out house if you don't like it F*k off back to yours. (Mainly DH's pharse cos he had enough when we were living there) I can see grandkids being a source of arguements thou!

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 29/01/2005 09:55

well thats just it - she had GD1 who has just turned 2 years old. She then has GD2 (jessica) at 6 months and GD3 who is 5 months old - i just dont understand her mentality. GD1 and GD3 are sisters. We know MIL favours DH's sister over him, and they live within 10 minute walk of each other - more of a reason i feel she should just babysit at DH's sisters house, but no, she has them overnight at least once a month. We live 20 minute drive away, yet this will be the first time in 6 months we would have left jess with MIL on her own.... im actualyl really scared about leaving her tonight!!! I have no problems leaving her with my dad - my dad is great and is having jess for a whole week in august while me and dh go on holiday!! MIL has taken GD1 on numerous long weekend holidays yet jess seems to be a "chore" - why am i getting worked up typing this????

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munnzieb · 29/01/2005 10:04

because it seems injust. it's a bit naughty really, does she resent you? (try getting DH to have a word with her about her attitude towards jess, might help as well if she spends some time with her)

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 29/01/2005 10:06

she hates me i know she does - im DH's cousin so her brother is my dad. she hates the idea of us being together and feels we are a shame on the family. My dad thinks its great - we love each other and he can see that i have never been happier. we thought we had got over the "family" issue, but the more i think about it the more i think she really just cannot stand me. dh wont talk to her - he's too much of a wimp when it comes to his mum... typical lad hey!

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munnzieb · 29/01/2005 10:20

ahy mine was the same, until she started mega bitching to me about her son, not ringin him from abroad, so in the heat of anger I had a go at DH (I was so pissed off with her) I know it was the wrong thing to do as he dosn't need the stress (but it was a one off) so he rang her and had a right go, we didn't speak to her for about 3 weeks other than online. Things seem to be a lot better now.

I don't think it matters you married your cousin, as long as everyone's happy, and your LO is ok then weres the prob? tell her to get with the now!

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 29/01/2005 13:13

well ive just been into town briefly and found a nice top for tonight at the bargain price of £3!!! dd is knackred and currently "crying it out" in her cot! Dh has phoned and said he is a bit pissed off but is gonna see if he can get home early. forgot to ask him if he had phoned his mother about arrangements for tonight.... oh well. the way i feel right now i would quite happily stay home! This would be our first evening out alone together as a couple since she was born!!!

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munnzieb · 29/01/2005 13:36

you'd think his mum would help out and let you do the couply things. Is there a pics you could go to instead? (or do u really want a night out with other ppl?)

Original poster
jessicasmummy · 29/01/2005 13:40

thats just it - there is nothing here. i would rather just go to the pub and have a drink with DH but he wants to put an appearance in... costing us a tenner fro the bloody do as it is!

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