Look rich but very poor

[greyfoxy]

I live in a lovely house in a nice area, I wear nice clothes and I know people perceive me as being well off. The truth is I have absolutely no money. It's 2 weeks until pay day and I have £15 left. I will end up using credit cards to buy the essentials which is why I'm in this mess - my repayments are huge.

Anyone else relate to this?

It sounds like you've done a great job. Unfortunately we can't help things outside our control x

I think that’s absolutely ridiculous!

I never understand why people are willing to go broke, just to look rich.

You are literally making yourself poor, to avoid looking poor - it doesn’t make any sense.

Stop buying expensive clothes.
Look at your incomings and outgoings.
Downsize if you need to or get a lodger.

Stop caring what other people think about you.
Your worth does not come from how rich you are.

I think people's attitude to money and debt is hard wired and is very difficult to change.

I'm extremely risk adverse. We have no debts at all, including no mortgage, no car loans, no credit card debt and fully paid off student loans. We also have a rental house and lots in savings.

However we only holiday in the UK (although this isn't for financial reasons, it's due to my DH having to travel overseas a lot for work, plus we have an elderly rescue dog so book holiday cottages that we can drive to), I don't have a car (walk or use public transport) and the big saving - we don't have children!!

Being so 'sensible' means that I have very good quality clothes and accessories, we have lots of nice kitchen equipment as we both love to cook and eat well. Our food and drink bill is rather high! It's all about priorities, ours are probably different from other people's.

I absolutely could not enjoy a holiday, a meal out, or a new outfit bought on a credit card. But that's my personality and priorities, we are all different.

I am similar. I have a 6 figure salary all to myself and DC and have a lot of equity and savings. I certainly don't scrimp and don't need to. It's called living within your means.

Absolutely no desire to drive the latest SUV or go skiing to keep up with the Joneses, which is a fool's mistake and road to long term misery.

Find it hard to be sympathetic to people with big incomes who spend beyond it. 😬

You're not poor, you've overstretched yourselves and with a bit of self-discipline and adjustment to your lifestyles, you would be comfortable. If you're in debt, speak to an adviser and sort out an affordable repayment plan.

Poor is having a low income and no capacity to cut back anywhere.

Some people on this thread don't know what the word 'poor' means.

Lots of people will relate to this for various reasons including building up credit card debt and having a lifestyle they can't really afford. If you are unhappy being in this situation then get help from a debt advice charity. It is so much more comfortable knowing that you can cover your essential bills each month and ideally have some savings, or at least the capacity to get more credit in an emergency.

On the contrary rich people ( really rich) tend to dress like farmers. You probably just look desperate, not rich. It's a mindset isn't it? You have to stop trying to keep up with the Jones' before there's no going back.

The Monzo app is really useful for budgeting. Used to fritter away money on coffees and fast fashion. Now I dont.
I do have treats. I go to the theatre often but I shop around for cheap seats and use seatfiller sites. And I buy good quality coats and boots.

I agree exactly. Being poor is not what you are experiencing.

I just don't understand this really. Surely if people have to get things on credit in the first place, this becomes more necessary as the monthly payments increase. So what do people actually do once they have 20k debt? I've been in debt (although I knew it was temporary) so I know how quickly it builds so I just don't see how it's sustainable beyond a couple of years. My exH used to get into debt and then remortgage because at the time the property prices were still rising. Now they're not rising much and he needs to earn 70k just to cover bills.

This is the most bonkers and totally delusional MN thing I've read.

Keeping up with the Joneses must be tiring. Who are you kidding?
God knows how essentially skiing holidays are. I'm cringing inside.
Get a grip and pay your £20k down. The you only live once mantra will make you homeless if one of you loses your job

"Cut your cloth accordingly" is a valid saying.

The holidays the children recall with the greatest fondness are the bucket and spade holidays in Cornwall when we rented a two bed cottage near the beach.

We generally buy our cars when they are about 18 months to two years old and keep them until they stop being economically viable.

DH and I have phones that have been out for a while and buy them. We pay about £25 between us for data/calls, etc.

I take a packed lunch and flask to work.

Agreed, no holiday feels as good ( or does enough for my stress levels) as having money in the bank, when my savings are low my stress levels are high and vice versa
An awfull lot of people don’t have their priorities right and are so concerned about impressing others that they don’t even realise how their own behaviour is negatively affecting their mental health

I have just got back from a fabulous solo holiday in Greece. I paid Euro 50 per day for an AirBnB. It was lovely, honestly.

The middle ground between your current position and the second job / no holidays, is probably to start repaying some of the debt, and have fewer or less extravagant holidays. Rather than clearing the debt in a year, pay it off across 3/4 by making some compromises.

A lot about what PP have said is true regarding job & health security. It’s important to enjoy now, but not at the expense of tomorrow.

Not a myth. I’ve witnessed it many times with my own eyes.

I’m the opposite, I’m comfortable financially but I look like a tramp. It’s quite interesting how people look down on me generally and ignore me in shops in particular.

You are living beyond your means. What's the reason for this?

OP - can you write it all down, income, debts, outgoings?
Then make a plan to sort it out, pay off any debts and set a realistic budget that you can stick to. Either do this by yourself if you feel able or with help if not, in person, on the phone, even on here, there is a lot of help available. You will feel MUCH better!

If you're using credit cards to prop up the gap between your income and expenditure you must know that's unsustainable and you'll struggle along until you do something constructive about it - it does sound like you have options, which puts you in a better position than many who are struggling right now.

Or is this one of those pointless MN posts where you 'just want to moan' with people in similar situations about how it's someone else's fault?

@Jollygoodtime09

You are just one negative live event away from chaos. Redundancy, job loss, sickness, accident etc could completely upend your life. Unfortunately shit happens and you have zero plan B.

It's unnecessary and completely insane to spent in such a manner while just winging it and hoping the good times continue.

Stupidity beyond belief.

Jam butty millionaires is what my mother used to say!, posh house but can only afford to eat jam butties😆

You are not poor by any measure. Live within your means.

Big mistake. HUGE.

(Reminds me of pretty woman)