Look rich but very poor

[greyfoxy]

I live in a lovely house in a nice area, I wear nice clothes and I know people perceive me as being well off. The truth is I have absolutely no money. It's 2 weeks until pay day and I have £15 left. I will end up using credit cards to buy the essentials which is why I'm in this mess - my repayments are huge.

Anyone else relate to this?

Same In my chavvy joggers lol

Omg
I feel anxious just reading your post.
Holidays are really not worth that kind of stress imo

I thought this post would be about buying mini boden on eBay and using clubcard vouchers and workdays for instagram holidays. Have read through the first few pages and not yet seen a single poor person. Just people not very good with money.

We’re older (now retired) but have always lived within our means as we’re risk averse.
We’ve never had a huge mortgage and not moved just to get something bigger/ nicer but this has meant that we could pay off our mortgage in good time. We rarely took foreign holidays but don’t feel that the kids have missed out, they’ve got very happy memories
We use a credit card for all spending but pay it off every month.
We’ve both worked full-time but not earned a fortune and DH has been made redundant twice. Despite all this we’re very comfortably off with a good income (especially now we’ve down-sized) and have been able to help four children set themselves up in life.
I don’t feel that @greyfoxy is saving nearly enough to be able to put their children through uni let alone help them in their lives. All these holidays now or help with a flat deposit later? No contest.
And the lack of a decent savings buffer means that any employment setbacks for either of them could bring the whole castle tumbling down.

OP there has to be a happy medium!

Before I had children my husband and I used to have three holidays a year, one to the Caribbean, one medium haul and one short haul in Europe.

We have a similar income to you, live in a very affluent area and have about 70% equity in our home.

We work in the public sector where wages have stagnated for the last decade and the cost of living increases and as we remortgaged in November we are feeling the pinch of higher interest payments on our mortgage, and our disposable income has been hit!

To balance the books we have a UK break for a week each year, and a mid haul holiday! We have lots of days out because we cash on club card vouchers for National Trust membership and theme park tickets!

Our UK holidays have been Wells (took the kids to Stonehenge, see the Magna Carter in Salisbury, Wookie hole, Glastonbury and Chedder gauge and obviously went around Wells) but have booked houses in Scotland and York with hot tubs too! We went to Futerventura in the summer and did a tour of Lanzarote by ferry - staying at a five star hotel AI hotel. Both holidays cost less than half the price of one trip to the Caribbean and allowed us to save towards a garden room we plan to build later this year!

This year we are going to Tunisia and staying in a hotel with free access to to a water and theme park for two weeks AI for two weeks again at less than half of the price of going to the Caribbean! Plus trips, eating out etc… is very reasonable.

Yes children are only young once, but there are plenty of fabulous places to visit that are far less expensive than heading across the Atlantic- why not halve the cost of your holidays for a couple of years and pay down your debt over two years?

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing- there is always a compromise to be made that can allow you to enjoy life without breaking the bank!

Set a sensible plan to reduce frivolous spending, and pay down debt whilst still enjoying life!

Sorry, this was really supposed to quote @scandista and others who spend on holidays and not at @greyfoxy who is more realistic about spending.

Jollygoodtime09 FFS are you taking the piss?. You gave more left over than I bring home. Get a grip you are not in the same sutuation

Most people would not including me as long as we earning why bother? We have lots of equity and easily couid but the south east property market is good and we have no probs making repayments. Only live once. That said wish I could retire earlier. Trying to reign in spending this year clear overdraft and we already have put by money for just 1 holiday this year. Toying with downgrading gym and not buying any clothes except buy and sell vinted. Had friends die in 40s and early 50s so have had a fuck it lets bucket list every festival show city break we fancy. Do have some savings and pensions though. But not touching to pay overdraft as I’ll never put it Back.

@Jollygoodtime09 I mean this kindly but you have a serious problem. It’s not normal to live your life like this. Please seek some help for the sake of your kids. It will all come crashing down sooner or later.

I wholeheartedly agree with this. Are your children likely to be able to afford a home of their own before they reach their 30's, for eg) a likely inheritance or help from a trust fund?
You are teaching them extremely poorly how to manage money and setting them up to fail financially if you continue as you are.

Because they're tight with their money lol 😆

Personally, I am terrified of debt (other than a mortgage), so have never spent on credit cards without paying it all off at the end of the month. I grew up in a very wealthy family and was very privileged, and still benefit from that now in my early 40s. We probably appear much richer than we are (multiple skiing holidays per year, huge property with land for our horses, 1 or 2 foreign holidays to nice places, expensive hobbies, DC at an exclusive school etc) however most of that is funded or at least ‘helped’ by my family wealth. I’m sure some of our friends and acquaintances who don’t know our true situation like our close friends do, think that we must earn loads. We don’t do badly, but it’s public sector wages so not huge salaries by any means, and we don’t have a lot left to save each month (maybe £300-500 depending on when car MOTs or other expensive events happen). However we own a £1.2 million property with a mortgage of only £150k, and we are happy to drive second hand modest cars so we don’t need vehicle finance. Neither of us are materialistic and we don’t care about clothes and appearances other than looking vaguely clean and tidy (the children don’t even care about that!) so we don’t spend much on clothes etc. My family money funds our skiing hols, summer hols and school fees, and we can afford our horses, hobbies, sports equipment and a small foreign or uk holiday once a year.

I expect we appear wealthy but really we aren’t cash-rich however we are jolly lucky.

Jollygoodtime09 If it was me I wouldn't be able to enjoy a vacation that would put me further into debt. As for the reasoning that the kids are only young once, you could spend time with them doing simple inexpensive activities. When kids are young all they need is lots of time with their parents.That will create good memories for them.

Thing is, the people that have over borrowed with big mortgages and spending on credit have probably made the correct play for the last 20 years. If you managed to get on the property ladder with a low interest rate mortgage, you’re quids up as your property, many people’s biggest asset, has massively gained value. Same for borrowing on cheap credit. It’s only the last few years that the climate has changed, but it has been easy living for many for 15-20 years.
Probably have more respect for those people that have managed to live beyond their means for so long than those that seem to role play being poor, counting every penny and eating potatoes and beans with plenty of money sat stagnating in the bank at 0.8% interest. Guess the party is over now, but many might have already got away with it/paid of mortgage debt etc.

Consolidating your debt is not always the right thing to do. OP needs to see a debt advisor who will sort her out with a plan.

@Thatusernamewastaken
Agree that many people have made money out of the low interest rates on housing but its hardly being a financial whizz when everyone has made money - also presuming its paid off and they are not facing huge mortgage raises?
What's over borrowing?
No one has been able to over borrow and the regulations have been tight for years.
What actually happened is HTB and look at the shit show there.
Those who ploughed money into BTL are selling or trying too as its barely worth it due to interest rises and regulation.

People who have borrowed to maintain or improve property have also done well, presuming they have paid it off.
However there are far more who have borrowed to fund a lifestyle beyond their means and have zero to show for it.
Coffees, nails, eyelashes, tat.
I'm surrounded by people at work and if I had a pound for " why was I so stupid"
People are drowning in debt and can't afford to live as their mortgages have sky rocketed, food and utilities also.

People who have nice houses, paid off are quids in but they got lucky, not clever.
The clever ones didn't rack up ludicrous debts that they now can't afford on disposable crap.

I don’t even have a credit card!!

Not something to be particularly proud of. You'll probably say 'you've never needed one' but people get tripped up by problems that wouldn't exist or are much easier to solve if a credit card is available and used appropriately.

Look, I know I have sounded terribly pious on this thread. But I honestly don't like designer gear with big logos. DH has often offered to buy me LV or Coach bags for my birthday. I don't like them. I wasn't brought up with designer stuff and I find it all very Emperor's New Clothes. I don't have the kind of friends who care about brands.

Instead I have a good quality leather bag with no logos from India, which I prefer and has lasted years. I spend money I save on experiences: theatre, choir, exhibitions. I am hugely excited about going to the Van Gogh Poets and Lovers this weekend.

It's not roleplaying poor. Just preference.

Yeah I suppose I’ve never needed one, could have done with one a few times over the years though to be honest. I understand that people get tripped up. But a lot of people on here admit to using them for holidays etc, that’s different to being tripped up.

It's a good idea to have one and use it very occasionally, as it keeps your credit rating sound. It also provides protection if you use it for big purchases. Just pay the balance off each time.

No such thing as a good credit rating in Ireland, these rules don’t apply. Also no better protection on cc purchases here. It’s a chargeback regardless of using a debit or credit card.

OK fair enough but this is a UK site so I was talking about the UK.

To be fair there’s plenty on here from all over the world but I get it…

You do realise you’re setting a terrible example to the DC and the expectations of what life should be? They will be very discontented if they can’t do all that when grown and earning.
Living on the never never is ridiculous. What happens if something happens and one can’t work. Your DH needs to get real …one holiday, no business class is still more than many people get. Why should you be the one to take on extra work because he won’t live within means?
Im sorry. I just can’t get my head round this. I’ve £ 650 income per month. Keep two dogs, a car and a house. No debt. Not a penny.