Page 13 | Look rich but very poor

greyfoxy · 2025-01-12T10:38:35+00:00

I live in a lovely house in a nice area, I wear nice clothes and I know people perceive me as being well off. The truth is I have absolutely no money. It's 2 weeks until pay day and I have £15 left. I will end up using credit cards to buy the essentials which is why I'm in this mess - my repayments are huge. Anyone else relate to this?

DreamTheMoors · 12/01/2025 19:37

My parent’s house payment was $120/mo for about a thousand years. The three of us kids grew up in that house and a couple of grandkids did too.
Then, just because it was about to run out, they took advantage of the “GI Bill” (a low-interest loan for veterans) and bought a fancy house across town.
Their house payment went up to $1400/mo.
I could never understand the logic.
People do strange things when they think they’re saving money — like, “Oh, I’ll get this credit card because the interest rate is lower than my other 4 credit cards.”
SMH

Stressed199401 · 12/01/2025 19:46

We worked out today we've got £7,400 worth of debt that accumulates between the two of us to £804 a month payback. We're getting married next October and if we don't sort this out it won't be happening. We've come up with a plan today and if we do it we should be debt free by Christmas but it's so shit, we both work and live a normal life but we have no holidays abroad or anything. We just have to get away in the uk every year. We have 3 children 9 and under and life's just hit us like a steam train in recent years. We got together, lived in my tiny little 2 bed with my son. Had our daughter, moved to a 3 bed, found out i was pregnant again accidentally, moved again bought our current house and I burnt it down within 3 months of moving in, had the baby while the house was a building site. It's just been chaos, and we've racked up debt just trying to get through test after test.

hehehesorry · 12/01/2025 19:47

Jollygoodtime09 · 12/01/2025 17:07

So much judgement. The cc debt could be anything and not necessarily fruitless spending. I have an SEN child who only leaves the house to go skiing. He learnt for free and loved it. We don't know any 'jones's' , none of our friends ski. It's up to us if we choose to take our DC on holiday/ have multiple holidays/go on holiday knowing we have debt. For my SEN child, a holiday is the only thing that gets him away from the house for a period of time.

We're comfortable with the level of debt and don't stress about it. We're chipping away at it.

Do you claim anything related to your skiing child's disabilities?

UnemployedNotRetired · 12/01/2025 19:47

People's views about money/finance are deeply held, often starting in childhood, and often with limited ability to see others' views.

The idea of saving when young, and then spending when old, is much harder to pull off than people think. Many older people save -- it is just hard to have 50 years putting money away and then turn around and start spending it for the next 25 (or so).

The bottom half of incomes have little to save even if they wanted to. 20% of working-age adults are on universal credit and similar benefits.

A lot of people are really hoping that their boomer parents don't need care and will bequeath them a housing fortune, to wipe away their money issues. Won't work for all of them!

iamnotalemon · 12/01/2025 19:49

Stressed199401 · 12/01/2025 19:46

We worked out today we've got £7,400 worth of debt that accumulates between the two of us to £804 a month payback. We're getting married next October and if we don't sort this out it won't be happening. We've come up with a plan today and if we do it we should be debt free by Christmas but it's so shit, we both work and live a normal life but we have no holidays abroad or anything. We just have to get away in the uk every year. We have 3 children 9 and under and life's just hit us like a steam train in recent years. We got together, lived in my tiny little 2 bed with my son. Had our daughter, moved to a 3 bed, found out i was pregnant again accidentally, moved again bought our current house and I burnt it down within 3 months of moving in, had the baby while the house was a building site. It's just been chaos, and we've racked up debt just trying to get through test after test.

Check out moneysavingexpert for help with your debt. At least try and get it on 0% credit cards if you can.

NewYearStillFat · 12/01/2025 19:49

iamnotalemon · 12/01/2025 19:22

Bet you feel like you are rolling in it now the nursery fees have stopped! I can't believe the prices of nursery fees.

Show quote history

It’s certainly helped but I’ve always felt comfortable. I spend a lot on clothes etc too,
or I feel I do. I feel like it’s a huge income can’t fathom overspending so much.

calmandcollected101 · 12/01/2025 19:51

Monsterstogo · 12/01/2025 17:44

January is known for being a tough month. If it’s just this month I wouldn’t worry too much!

I will need to put my petrol on the credit card this month but will pay off when the bill comes in.

I try to minimise spending in January and February to balance out November and December and it evens out by then. I feel back to normal by March.

When people say put it on the cc , does this mean there is no money in your current account until you get paid?

ParsnipPuree · 12/01/2025 19:52

I can understand why people use credit cards for essentials of course but I just couldn't put holiday after holiday on plastic and not worry about it.

NewYearStillFat · 12/01/2025 19:53

I don’t think anyone is fooled though and thinks you “look rich” most people will be able to make a sensible judgment as to how much you earn in your roles and probably eye roll knowing it’s all on tick.

SnoopysHoose · 12/01/2025 19:57

@calmandcollected101
Of course that is what it means, many people run out before pay day!

MidnightMusing5 · 12/01/2025 20:03

IVFmumoftwo · 12/01/2025 11:37

Don't most rich people look poor to be honest?

The ones I know certainly look plain.

BeAzureAnt · 12/01/2025 20:03

Jollygoodtime09 · 12/01/2025 11:26

We are the same OP. We have several holidays a year. DC have expensive hobbies. A decent sized house. We bring home £7.5k a month. But we have £20k on credit cards. We pay the minimum each month. All on no interest rate offers. We also have a credit card we use and pay off in full each month (we correct avios so we can fly business class). This bill is around £2k a month. I would rather we didn't use it but DH racks it all up. After credit cards, mortgage and bills we are left with around £1.5k a month for food/petrol/social/DC. I've said to my mum a few times in passing that "we can't afford X" to which she replied "you've got loads of money". She doesn't know the truth. I've taken a second job in years gone by, she has never known this. Yes we should pay off the credit card debt and not go on holiday. But life is short and the DC are only young once.

This year we're skiing, I have a holiday with friends abroad, then we're off on a 3 week holiday to USA. None of this will go on credit card. We're not adding to the £20k but we're not making a debt in the balance either

If we had 1 year of no holidays and I took a second job for the whole year then we could clear a hell of a lot of the debt. But DH won't do no holidays and I don't know if I could do a second job for a year (would mean 50hour week, with my FT job)

So, maybe get a personal loan to pay off your credit card? The interest rate is surely much lower. Have the payments for it automatically leave your account each month. OP, surely you know you can’t keep going on like this.

NattyBeaker · 12/01/2025 20:15

LivelyHare · 12/01/2025 14:29

Enjoy it while it lasts, OP. The UK economy is in absolute dire straits and when the bond market collapses (which it will, both here and the US) it will be 1976 all over again.

Those who do not have savings behind them will stand to lose everything.

Winter is coming.

Can you explain this further?

NewYearStillFat · 12/01/2025 20:19

@LivelyHare yes please elaborate.

BeAzureAnt · 12/01/2025 20:35

Happiness=Want what you have.

As to the bond market collapse, why do you think gold prices are rising and rising?

thriftyhen · 12/01/2025 20:35

What do you have to buy in the next two weeks? You have £15. Do you have to spend it? Do you really need to put things on a credit card? Can you make meals out of what you have in the fridge, freezer, pantry?

Aside from the next two weeks, I would suggest a budget and help from a debt charity if finances are spiralling out of control.

BeAzureAnt · 12/01/2025 20:36

thriftyhen · 12/01/2025 20:35

What do you have to buy in the next two weeks? You have £15. Do you have to spend it? Do you really need to put things on a credit card? Can you make meals out of what you have in the fridge, freezer, pantry?

Aside from the next two weeks, I would suggest a budget and help from a debt charity if finances are spiralling out of control.

Good advice.

NattyBeaker · 12/01/2025 20:43

BeAzureAnt · 12/01/2025 20:35

Happiness=Want what you have.

As to the bond market collapse, why do you think gold prices are rising and rising?

Too late to follow?

Original poster

greyfoxy · 12/01/2025 21:04

thriftyhen · 12/01/2025 20:35

What do you have to buy in the next two weeks? You have £15. Do you have to spend it? Do you really need to put things on a credit card? Can you make meals out of what you have in the fridge, freezer, pantry?

Aside from the next two weeks, I would suggest a budget and help from a debt charity if finances are spiralling out of control.

Thank you

OP posts:

Ap42 · 12/01/2025 21:10

Lungsonfire · 12/01/2025 17:35

Yes, me. I own about 50 designer bags I never used, I have about 30 jackets and huge wardrobe of clothes I rarely lay even open…
But I have about £1.50 in my purse and debt of about £2k..

I would be selling the designer handbags. Keep 1 or 2 maybe.

MrsIcandothis · 12/01/2025 21:28

FedUp2025 · 12/01/2025 19:25

This has got me thinking.

I drive a kia. Have 1 holiday a year within Europe as I don't like flying. (And I don't find a holiday with young child relaxing).
Household Income of about 70k
310k of equity and 16k in savings.
No debt.
I don't think the fancy life appeals to me. I like cheap and cheerful

Nothing wrong with cheap and cheerful. I like your style. We live by 2 rules: (1) don’t throw money away. (2) never leave money you have earned fairly on the table for someone else.

Goodluck OP, it’s a tough situation to change but you have made the first step in the right direction. Stay calm, one step at a time and focus on the end goal - sustainable financial management.

Yellowshirt · 12/01/2025 22:23

I had a life style of always being in debt. Credit cards, new cars, holidays etc etc etc. Then it was missed payments including the mortgage and eventually 3 ccjs and I lost everything. The ex wife walked away with everything and not a penny of debt.

The answer to your problems is divorce. I'm now back on the straight and narrow and saving for a house

BareWallsNoMore · 12/01/2025 23:38

Namechangedforthissss2011 · 12/01/2025 14:06

May I ask, what's the point? I'm not being snide and sneery, a genuine question.

My grandmother is like this. She has multiple properties (owned outright) and a substantial sum in the bank. She's 81 now.

All her live she lived in her small, boring town. Hasn't been ahywhere, not even in other cities in her own country (not the UK), except for a one single occasion, when she was a student in a bigger city when very young.

Eats horribly, the cheapest, often out of date stuff and very weird food combinations. Even something mundane like a chocolate bar (it's an example, insert anything bar the absolute essentials) is a 'luxury she cannot afford'. Wears old rags, mended and re-mended multiple times, decades and decades old, nothing new ever. Never goes anywhere for entertainment, no theathre, cinema, concert, restaurant, anything where you need to spend money, ever. The flat she lives in (she can easily afford a house, it's her choice) is in the same condition, with same furniture and no updates whatsoever since she moved in, 60 years ago.

There's plenty more, but you get the picture. Yea, she has quite a substantial sum of money. Yet not long to live, and all her life was extreme Scrooge-ing and that's it. 'She worked, she saved, she died' should be on her gravestone.

I'd rather die before I'd be 10 years old, if her life is the only alternative, tbh. Or live like the poster at the beggining of the thread with debt and holidays 5xyear.

Now I understand you certainly don't live as extremely as my granny. But if you have the money, why 'live poor, look poor, dress poor, go on poor holidays'? I'm not advocating wasting your savings at all, but surely the balance could be found?

Show quote history

I think that was the mindset though of the people who lived through the war and had rations for food etc.
My parents were the same - lived in modest house, ate cheap food, never went abroad and died leaving £000's in the bank.

Pussycat22 · 13/01/2025 00:00

Sasskitty · 12/01/2025 11:42

We used to leave in a particularly wealthy area, for about 10yrs. Turned out loads of them were living beyond their means with overloaded credit cards which they kept transferring debt on, remortgaged houses to the hilt etc. Just so they could beat the joneses.

Sell your house, buy somewhere more in keeping with the household income. Hopefully you’ve got some equity.

Rolls Royce inthe garage, bread and jam on the table.

BareWallsNoMore · 13/01/2025 00:13

OP I used to be you (well sort of). Hubbie and I both had good paying jobs and we had a nice house (with mortgage) and two expensive cars which we used to change alot. We spent a fortune doing house up and took expensive holidays. We didn't have huge debts apart from the mortgage and car loans but were did spend everything we earned which was disgraceful really.

I had expensive clothes, expensive make up, expensive watches etc etc

it was 2007 and life was good. Both jobs were secure.

Then the 2008 period came upon us all and all of a sudden things weren't so rosy anymore. Husbands work put them all down to 4 days per week and were talking about 3 days per week. Boss at my work (manufacturing plant) said we might turn up for work and find the gates locked cos the company had went kaput. Suddenly our big mortgage looked very frightening and we had no savings to fall back on. House prices fell and so lots of people couldn't sell or had to sell at a loss. Jobs dried up and life just went from rosy and worry free to really scary.

That would be my worry for you. Just now you can keep it all going but it only takes one thing to bring the whole house down. It can be illness or redundancy or the economy. It can sneak up on you or just happen overnight.

I really would if I was you take a more moderate way. Have a holiday if you must but just one. Pay that debt off. Build up some savings. As other posters have pointed out the UK economy is in a weird place. In fact the recent housing boom reminds me very much of the 2007 housing boom.

I hope things work out for you.
I have made lots of bad decisions in my life and lucky for me I had parents who helped me out. I now live in a modest house with a 10 year old car but I don't have any debt or mortgage and I have savings. I buy little clothes (no interest really now) and rarely go on holiday. I do spend money on good food, my pets and more recently artwork. I also spend money on plants/growing stuff and I quite fancy learning to play piano. My phone is 7 years old, my laptop about the same and so is my kindle. I only replace them when I have to.

It's good to spend a little money on things to make your life better/nicer as like you say you only live once. However try and get a balance of 'spend some, save some' especially just now with the UK economy looking a bit dire.