What is fair financially in my situation as a SAHM?

[Dibdabdeb]

Hi all,
I'd really appreciate any opinions on this, as I feel myself and my DH have a slightly complex financial situation, and I have found myself feeling resentful recently, but I'm not sure if this is reasonable or not.
We have been married a few years now and very happy generally. Our DS was born last year and DH is a really good dad, but he's been struggling financially for quite some time now and I am starting to feel fed up with it. I'm of the opinion that we stick together through thick and thin, but I'm feeling resentful.
Between us we have assets. I have a flat and he has two houses. His houses have always given him problems, and I did say we should sell them, but he didn't.
When DS was born, we left my flat we were living in and moved in with my parents. This was a short-term plan. We assumed we would sell all our properties and buy a family home, but as we were unable to sell anything, we have ended up buying a property which needs a lot of work, and we won't be able to move in for a good while. I remortgaged my property to allow us to buy and I pay the mortgage out of the rent I get (I make a small profit from this per month). His houses have been costing a fortune, as the mortgages came up last year for renewal and the interest rates and service charges have meant that he pays around 3k for them every month, despite the fact they're rented out. He's self employed, and has been struggling to make ends meet due to paying the rent on his business premises and paying our mortgage on our new house on top of this. My husband has no savings and I do, so I leant him 20k to help him out. I know he hated accepting it, and is working on paying it back when he can.
I had to leave my job when we had DS, as we relocated, and I'm very lucky that I get a small salary from my father's company for the occasional bit of admin I do. As we live with my parents, we pay for all the food for the household, rather than pay rent. I offered to cover this, as my husband has been struggling so much. Generally I'm also really struggling to stretch what little money I have. I get around £1000 per month in total, and have to pay for all our household food, drink and everything my DS needs, from nappies to clothes, activities and toys etc. not to mention the occasional expense of a birthday or having a haircut. I never buy anything for myself or do anything extravagant. I have no money left at the end of the month, and I am becoming sick of having to be so frugal and stressing about it all the time. We do not have a joint account, so I feel that day to day for me and DS, it's all on me. I know my husband pays for our new mortgage and our car (we share it), but I feel generally let down and sad that we're in this position. Is this unreasonable?
My own dad is a fantastic provider and I've never felt financially insecure until now, but my husband, although a generous person, simply seems to have so many outgoings that he's drowning, and it makes me feel very insecure. I intend to go back to work in a new job when DS starts nursery next year, but at the moment, I don't see the point, as my income would only end up paying for childcare. I am not the sort of person who expects to have everything paid for, but I resent my husband for putting us in this situation, despite the fact it's not his fault, and I don't know how to stop feeling like this. Most women who are looking after a child full-time get at least some sort of housekeeping money from their husband's to help. Am I a terrible person for feeling resentful?

It's easily done, when you're used to taking risks. You'll sort it out, and children get more and more fun. We both found the transition to parenthood quite submerging for a while. Even the second time, in fact we do sometimes wish we'd stopped at one, certainly our bank account does!

So was your DH a SME builder as if so sympathy has many have been hit by the sudden rise in interest rates caused by the Ukraine War and a terrible budget 2 years ago.

What is your DH main business?

Will your current proper value of assets cover total liabilities or are you insolvent?

I would stay living with your parents as long as they are happy to help you.

Can you borrow money from your parents to get the main residence finished and then rent that out for further income? You might have a CGT charge when you sell further down the line but it will help for the time being.

Also what are the values of the 2 properties up North and what are the mortgages? How much do you get in rent?

For instance a 5% mortgage on say £400,000 would be about £21,000 per annum but a £600,000 property should bring in about £35,000 to £40,000 per annum.

Are your mortgages o; interest only as that lowers monthly outgoings at least for the time being.

However with property you have to have a plan to use surplus rents to lower the mortgages to a great degree before buying the next.

I’ve not read everything but it’s just mind boggling and your posts I have read are full of deflecting your very poor choices.

‘I had to leave my job because we relocated’. No, you chose to relocate.

‘I had no choice but to move in with my parents because the house we bought was uninhabitable’. No, you chose to buy an uninhabitable house knowing you already owned 2 or maybe even 3 other houses.

‘my dads a really good provided and I’ve never felt financially insecure’ so are you saying you’ve o ky ever relied on your dad or your partner for security. Not yourself?

’I pay for everything including my child’s nappies and my own haircuts’ in the context of living with your parents so as opposed to your dad paying. Yes of course you do…. Welcome to being an adult!!

You ‘loaned’ your husband 20K but surely if you’re married it’s all family money isn’t that the point of getting married (incidentally it’s why my partner and I aren’t married). Do you mean you loaned your partners business the money?

like I said it’s all mind boggling to me but I really think you need to reassess how you and your husband make decisions and if you’re struggling stop buying more houses. Not sure how you even got mortgages on them. Sell them and you’ll stop hemoraging money.

You don't appear to have a full idea of where the money is coming in going out assets etc..you say his earnings fluctuate but you dont know what they are..
Each property is rented but you are still paying more maybe..
Your doing a side hustle but its not earning..
I would suggest you get into the detail... Build a spreadsheet that shows all your family income and expenditure..
How are you funding renovations if you have no money?
And the same for each house... And then you can plan better ..
It maybe better that you work and child goes into nursery or childminder

His main job is in property finance but he did some property development when he made money buying and selling houses. It's just unfortunate that there were some cowboy builders involved and he made a poor decision in doing the project so far away in distance, so wasn't overseeing it enough, so unfortunately the project lost money.
Our London flat is worth around 500k. Wehad no mortgage on it but raised a mortgage to buy new house. New house being uninhabitable is mainly due to damp. It's easily fixed and we will renovate it either by selling his houses or with development finance. We will doubled the value of the house by renovating it, as we bought it at a rock bottom price. This is the reason we decided to go through the inconvenience of our situation. Hopefully we can recoup some of the money we have lost when we sell it. Mortgages on his properties are interest only.
The real issue here is that I was feeling resentful of the fact the properties he had before we met, which I've said we should sell multiple times and he didn't listen, are costing us so much money. Obviously we have to pay for nappies etc. my dad does not fund our lifestyle and I never said he did @KarmenPQZ . My frustration is that if my husband had listened to me and sold the houses a long time ago, he would have more income to help support us.

Houses are worth 325k each, but apparently no one wants to buy them. We dropped price to 260k but still no viewings even. Of course we want to sell but the buy to let market is dead and the agents in the area have said it is very slow. They are in a very rural location. We can only try again in new year.