Page 11 | Renting while parents own over £1.4million in property

Emmav2020 · 2024-08-30T14:00:43+00:00

Just after peoples thoughts. So myself and OH pay £1000 in rent a month aswell as having 2 kids and paying a fortune in childcare. My parents own the above amount in property. Now while ive spend over £50,400 paying rent i was thinking and kind of got myself annoyed that my parents are sat on that kind of money while im still renting. Even if they gave me a small deposit i would be forever grateful just so we can get ourselves a mortgage and onto the property ladder. my sister was given a hefty chunk my her in-laws to buy a house so shes find. I mean we have save a bit ourselves but its nowhere near what we need Would you be annoyed or do i have no right in thinking they could help us just a little.

Papyrophile · 30/08/2024 21:26

WorriedMama12 · 30/08/2024 18:42

How weird to sit and actively search through people's previous posts....especially one from 2 years ago which may have no bearing on the OPs current situation.

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Yes, I agree that it is weird to trawl through ancient posts to 'prove' a point. Life moves on.

I don't want to featherbed my DC. I want them to succeed in their own way, and to glory in that success, But even if they triumph in their career path, their earnings are unlikely to add up to enough to a deposit on a London flat, unless we help out. Which we will. And in due course, DC will inherit reasonably well. I want DC to have the satisfaction of making something on their own.

Papyrophile · 30/08/2024 21:32

@Bignanna how can you say that sounds good and enough? The financial pot you're describing as enough is actually bare bones, even with £11,500 from the state pension. It's enough, as long as you don't plan to put on the heating, or run a car, or buy the odd gift and have a glass of wine.

eggplant16 · 30/08/2024 21:33

Some are comfortable, and think 'my money my business' and are content to see their children struggle - because 'I don't owe them anything

Until they become very elderly and need help.

eggplant16 · 30/08/2024 21:35

Papyrophile · 30/08/2024 21:32

@Bignanna how can you say that sounds good and enough? The financial pot you're describing as enough is actually bare bones, even with £11,500 from the state pension. It's enough, as long as you don't plan to put on the heating, or run a car, or buy the odd gift and have a glass of wine.

It sounds like quite a pot to me?

eggplant16 · 30/08/2024 21:37

30 k plus savings, nice pot.

KerryBlues · 30/08/2024 21:39

eggplant16 · 30/08/2024 21:37

30 k plus savings, nice pot.

How long do you think that would last in retirement?

Papyrophile · 30/08/2024 21:40

The first died cross,anxious and angry One was elderly and needy because she was unwell for many years. The third stayed healthy and well until the evening she passed away quietly. One is still with us, but much much more dsitanced.

DysonSphere · 30/08/2024 21:45

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 30/08/2024 21:05

I will help my DD as much as I can. But does that mean I have to sell my home?

Because of where we live, if house prices keep doing what they are, our home will be worth a stupid amount by the time she's ready to move out. But it's a small 2 bed. It's very difficult to downsize from that and live comfortably. It would mean moving to a worse area and changing our lifestyle, which is already quite simple because that's who we are.

In OPs case, she has a sister. So if her parents gifted her one of their rental properties, they'd likely have to do the same for the sister, in the interest of fairness. But they're still paying a mortgage on them, so how would that be fair to the parents? As it is, the are letting OP live there at a reduced rent, which is still support.

Depending on where in the country, 1.4million in property could be a modest home and one rental. It could be a massive home and three rentals. But at the end of the day, OPs parents would have to take a hit on their retirement to give her something, because they'd lose the income on the rental, or they'd have to downsize and lose equity. In the long term, it's better if they have a good income and assets to help pay for care if they need it. If they don't need it, OP is in for a lovely windfall later on anyway. If they don't have it, who do you think is paying for their care? With OPs attitude it won't be her, it'll be the tax payer.

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The parents of the OP's BIL seem to be considerably more thoughtful and practically minded than the OPs parents and have gifted her sister and her husband a large sum to get on the property ladder. Of course the OP is going to be resentful towards her own parents when her BIL parents are proactively helping her sister.

By contrast the OPs parents are asking her to pay them a hefty £1000 a month even though they have children and crippling childcare costs. It's barely support and it's unclear as to whether the OP has in fact paid them over £50,000 thus far, or whether that amount was rent for a different property, but if her parents have taken £50,000 from her, when they already have other buy-to-let properties that's disgraceful.

You can say £1000 isn't much by market standards but actually I know people paying less in housing trust properties. That is a significant amount that the OP could be putting in a pot for her DCs. At the very least the OP's parents could just ask a nominal amount or sell one of their properties and gift them a large sum for their own house. The OP has said she would be very grateful for the help.

It's got to burn seeing BIL parents helping sister out whilst her own are requesting £12,000 a year in rent.

The windfall is needed now not in 20 years. Social Care is a different subject. But I would certainly prefer my GC benefit from my equity than it go on my SC.

eggplant16 · 30/08/2024 21:49

KerryBlues · 30/08/2024 21:39

How long do you think that would last in retirement?

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Well I have half that?

thereiscustardinthejamtart · 30/08/2024 21:50

Well, on the plus side for OP, she may be an entitled CF but at least she knows she’s not alone in that.

eggplant16 · 30/08/2024 21:50

Papyrophile · 30/08/2024 21:40

The first died cross,anxious and angry One was elderly and needy because she was unwell for many years. The third stayed healthy and well until the evening she passed away quietly. One is still with us, but much much more dsitanced.

Not easy.

DysonSphere · 30/08/2024 21:52

thereiscustardinthejamtart · 30/08/2024 21:50

Well, on the plus side for OP, she may be an entitled CF but at least she knows she’s not alone in that.

🤣🤣

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 30/08/2024 22:06

DysonSphere · 30/08/2024 18:11

Set. Not pair!

Well, maybe Felicity was given a pair of keys for the two houses her parents gifted her 🤭

Bignanna · 30/08/2024 22:08

Papyrophile · 30/08/2024 21:32

@Bignanna how can you say that sounds good and enough? The financial pot you're describing as enough is actually bare bones, even with £11,500 from the state pension. It's enough, as long as you don't plan to put on the heating, or run a car, or buy the odd gift and have a glass of wine.

I’ve less than that and I put the heating on when necessary. We run a car and have treats, feed and clothe ourselves and can afford a holiday. We don’t live a luxury life style but don’t go hungry either!

DysonSphere · 30/08/2024 22:11

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 30/08/2024 22:06

Well, maybe Felicity was given a pair of keys for the two houses her parents gifted her 🤭

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Oh yes. Felicity's parents went above and beyond and now she rents the other property out to Penelope at £1700 a month.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 30/08/2024 22:12

WorriedMama12 · 30/08/2024 18:42

How weird to sit and actively search through people's previous posts....especially one from 2 years ago which may have no bearing on the OPs current situation.

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It is sort of relevant

And why have the AS function if not to be used?

KerryBlues · 30/08/2024 22:14

eggplant16 · 30/08/2024 21:49

Well I have half that?

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What’s the relevance??

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 30/08/2024 22:16

AhBiscuits · 30/08/2024 19:22

Do you want them to sell their house so they can give money to you?

Plenty of posters here think they should 🤦‍♀️

PouthSark · 30/08/2024 22:16

Yeah it's tight as fuck and these people refuse to acknowledge how lucky they've been with property ownership!

It's not really their fault you had kids, dramatically increasing your expenses, though.

But yeah, parents like that must not like their kids very much.

eggplant16 · 30/08/2024 22:17

KerryBlues · 30/08/2024 22:14

What’s the relevance??

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Its relevant to a discussion which has branched off into talk of pensions and lifestyles?

eggplant16 · 30/08/2024 22:18

" bare bones " is clearly subjective.

Okokokok29 · 30/08/2024 22:21

We live in a property worth about 850,000 but we actually don’t have wads of cash.Husband retired so out income is now very low in comparison to a few years ago.
We have three children so to find enough cash to treat them equally towards a deposit for a house we would have to downsize by about £150,000.
Property in our area is expensive and we wouldn’t get much for 650,000 ish .
So it is hard to help out cash wise .

eggplant16 · 30/08/2024 22:22

Okokokok29 · 30/08/2024 22:21

We live in a property worth about 850,000 but we actually don’t have wads of cash.Husband retired so out income is now very low in comparison to a few years ago.
We have three children so to find enough cash to treat them equally towards a deposit for a house we would have to downsize by about £150,000.
Property in our area is expensive and we wouldn’t get much for 650,000 ish .
So it is hard to help out cash wise .

Boo hoo. How silly.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 30/08/2024 22:23

Nuggetnuggety · 30/08/2024 20:07

Nobody is entitled to somebody else’s money or property or possessions and instead of being upset about it, you should be relieved that you’re relatively stable in your own life and leave the comparisons alone.

Why do people get so upset about having to pay inheritance tax?

Do they? It's not actually something you actually pay - it gets deducted from the estate when it's realised

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 30/08/2024 22:32

DysonSphere · 30/08/2024 21:45

The parents of the OP's BIL seem to be considerably more thoughtful and practically minded than the OPs parents and have gifted her sister and her husband a large sum to get on the property ladder. Of course the OP is going to be resentful towards her own parents when her BIL parents are proactively helping her sister.

By contrast the OPs parents are asking her to pay them a hefty £1000 a month even though they have children and crippling childcare costs. It's barely support and it's unclear as to whether the OP has in fact paid them over £50,000 thus far, or whether that amount was rent for a different property, but if her parents have taken £50,000 from her, when they already have other buy-to-let properties that's disgraceful.

You can say £1000 isn't much by market standards but actually I know people paying less in housing trust properties. That is a significant amount that the OP could be putting in a pot for her DCs. At the very least the OP's parents could just ask a nominal amount or sell one of their properties and gift them a large sum for their own house. The OP has said she would be very grateful for the help.

It's got to burn seeing BIL parents helping sister out whilst her own are requesting £12,000 a year in rent.

The windfall is needed now not in 20 years. Social Care is a different subject. But I would certainly prefer my GC benefit from my equity than it go on my SC.

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WTF - so now the parents are not to be permitted to find their own social care 🤣