Friends and family asking for salary details.

[FancyFran]

I recently got a new job and I have spent the last three weeks being grilled about my salary.
I'm a high earner but I don't buy much. We lost our home 15 years ago and it was traumatic. I now try to save and still have one DC in education. A family member lent us money after the crash that was paid back in full with interest. She seems to ask me on every phone call how my finances are. Most of my friends are wealthy, many don't work due to age or large divorce settlements.
I've been aggressively told by two I should tell them my salary as they're not gossips! (they are) How do I handle this? I find it rude and competitive. I'm at the point of telling them to f**k off.
Is this how people are these days or is it the location I live in (county town)?
Fwiw I have no idea how much they earn or have.

It actually has nothing to do with stately homes lol, it's explained at the start of the thread. If you did actually go to some then perhaps it'll resonate with you more though.

@Snowflake2 thank you. I've had a read.

Thanks to all who responded to my post. I have a verbal tool kit now.

It doesn’t bother me as you can google and find out my salary.

there was only one person who asked me every time I saw him and was dumbfounded I got paid more than him. It seemed to be jealousy/one up man ship as his wife would claim her salary was always marginally more than mine and she works in school admin (so this is doubtful). They were always pleading poverty and shouldn’t have been on the ~blatantly untrue~ salaries they had.

Lie

Tell them to mind their business. CF's.

I find it so rude. I’d never ask someone’s salary. I had a friend who pushily got mine out of me and I have regretted telling her ever since. I’ve since changed jobs and she doesn’t know what I earn now. But I have no doubt my prior salary has been passed to everyone who cares to ask and to those who don’t care.

Now I just tell people flat out that I don’t discuss salary.

“That’s a bit personal!”

”Ha- I don’t think you’re supposed to ask that, are you?”

I have no idea what my DS, DD, DSS or various grown-up DC earn. It's none of my business. It's none of your friends' business either. Tell them so. How rude to ask.

I actually told one friend tonight the next person to ask me my financial details was going to be told to f off. It felt good. No answer of course.

What about ‘Oh, I’ve no idea. I have staff to deal with that sort of thing’? Or ‘Hang on, Janet - I think I have my accountant’s number somewhere. He’s got all the details, so give him a call if there’s anything you need to know’. Then change the subject. If you can pull it off so the nosy parker isn’t sure if you’re being serious or not, so much the better.

Looks like a good way to answer!!

@ShyMaryEllen a brilliant answer. Thank you.

I’d either tell them to foxtrot Oscar and wouldn’t be polite about it either. Or say you will tell them if they deposit £5k into your bank, then just lie