What to ask DS for bed and board as student

[Orangesandlemons77]

DS (19) is starting university after the summer after taking a year out to work. He will be living at home and going to a local one.

Thing is, he's much better off than the rest of us atm, after having a 12K child trust fund, then working full time for most of the year (maybe 10K after buying a car and driving lessons) and now he will be getting about another 8K from student finance as we are not on a high income.

Given that he won't have to pay any rent as living at home, what do you think would be reasonable to charge for bed and board?

I'm on PIP and DH is self employed, but mid 50s and has a health condition so is not earning that much atm. We get a bit of tax credits but probably won't be changing to UC due to is being tricky with self employment (but may have to I suppose). Just now I'm using the PIP to get shopping etc, and seeking out bargains etc while DS is buying e.g. new phones and fancy perfumes for his gf.

Yes, I agree. She was a financial advisor and recommended maxing the LISA allowance each year, which means an extra 1K from that and also looking at the ISA as well. So he knows about all this.

But you think it is better for him to just take the minimum loan, for maintenance, I think that is about 5K? That would be better than the full amount?

Yes, because that’s less debt £12K over three years - but not including interest at 7.9% - he’ll be paying off. He could get a part-time job to ‘compensate’ for that £12K.

Sorry - I meant £9K.

You are right that you shouldn't include him in Council Tax as full-time students are exempt.

He should have been helping the household this last year though, as he is a working adult, but you clearly have been wanting to avoid charging him until it has become unavoidable due to family finances.

I think your plan to ask for £200 - £250 per month seems about right, hopefully he'll agree that this is reasonable.

If I wanted my child home forever I would charge them, I would rather they save the money so they can move when they want

I have no problems them actually being at home but if I charge how would they have the ability to move out? Unless I was trying to make a profit from them which I think is appalling

Well, that’s nice for you. But OP is barely making ends meet. We aren’t in “gosh, appalling to make a profit” territory here.

But he won't be paying it off. Look at a compound interest calculator. Put the amount in of loans he'll be getting. At 7.9% interest, the balance will be 50% more at 5 years. So £40K becomes £60K etc. They only pay 9% of what they earn over £25K, and you can salary sacrifice pension etc first. Unless her DS is one of the very lucky few that end up on salaries of £100K plus very quickly it will make zero difference to him whether he gets full maintenance loan or minimum. Because he will always be paying interest without ever touching the capital. He will pay exactly the same if he starts with a £30K loan or £60K in terms of how much he pays back over the term before it's written off.

Would you constantly check their savings account to see if they were actually saving?

If he worked all last year and has 10k left after his car I'm surprised that didn't affect his loan. We had to declare any savings over a certain amount and he has a considerable amount with the 12k on top so 25k altogether. Unless the declaration of savings is solely for the parents I can't remember .
My dc all worked through university / medical school and work in a bar or waiting on tables whenever they can .
DS washes up in an Italian at the weekend.
With £25k savings and living so local could your ds get a time a job the evenings perhaos or weekends and possibly chip in at home that way if needed?
He could use his savings / job to get through uni perhaps and not take the loan.
I'm sorry things are challenging for you at the moment OP.

The op is disabled. He's using her pip which is supposed to be to help with her disability to finance her adult son who is more than capable of supporting himself

We charge our daughter £50 per week but she is currently working and saving to go to uni in September. I worked out that amount roughly covers her food and the extra bills having her at home generates.

Our son is at uni and after his rent etc is paid he has £45 per week left over to pay for all his food, course materials, phone etc.

A student living at home has less maintenance than one living away, but it's not that much less.

Savings does not affect your student loan, only parental income.

This is so incorrect it is difficult to know where to start.

a. The maintenance loan for living at home assumes the students housing costs will be less than living away but still assumes they will be contributing to household expenses.

b. If OP moves onto universal credit that assumes that any adult children will be contributing to household expenses

c. No parent is obliged to support their adult child in higher education.

d. The OP's moral contribution to her son is limited to the difference between his loan and the full amount available of £8,610 which is based on her income and in her case is £0 difference.

Your son's maintenance loan is for living costs. It is to pay for his food, accomodation, bills, travel, clothes etc. I think £50-£60 per week given to whoever is paying these bills or an arrangement where he buys all his own food and cooks separately with a smaller contribution to bills is entirely reasonable- and given the OP's circumstances- necessary.

It would be unlikely it would cost OP £100 a week, £400 per month for food and a bit of electricity for her D's whilst he's in education. He'll be out at uni all day so not home using electricity each day. £100 a month would be much fairer.

Exactly it's a loan. He'll have to pay approximately 9 percent of his earnings once he's finished uni and got a job. That could carry on for 40 years. He gets the full loan because his parents on a low income are not expected to top up his loan to the full amount.

I couldn't charge my child for living at home, not even as an adult, but would be glad if they'd pay for the odd bit of grocery shopping or to cook a meal.

It's quite common not to make money out of your own DC. When my adult DS lived at home he paid £200 a month and for that he got a large room, any food he wanted at home, super fast internet, Sky Movies, Sky Sport, Disney+, Netflix in his own room, his phone contract paid and 1 takeaway a week paid for, electricity, gas and water. In return he helped about the house unloading shopping putting the bins out, vacuuming the stairs and he cooked a family meal once most weeks. It didn't cost me more than £50 a week to cover his costs. Once he moved out we got rid of the super fast internet and Disney+.

My ds1 pays us £65 per week but he works full time.

You could always get him to pay you the money you now don't get for him on tax credits.

OP is adding up the loss of child benefit, and money she will no longer get for her DS in the form of benefits and then then adding on his food and electric on top. Charging for food and electric he uses is fair enough but you can't penalise a DC because you no longer get benefits for him if he is going to pay for his food and electric that is all he will be costing you. He won't be there all day if he's at Uni.

Child benefit is paid partly in recognition of the fact that children don’t go up chimneys etc and so cannot earn money towards the household. Adults living in the household and earning money can and should contribute.

The typical in person contact hours at uni are around 12 hours per week. Students study independently at home/online the rest of the time.

I top my son’s student loan up by £800.00 a month but happily do it as I prefer him to live the full student life and live away from home!

I am a terrible parent because honestly, I would rather pay this than have him live at home😂. He is a late August baby too so he was just 18 when he started Uni!

Loved having him home for Xmas but time to go back to his life now.

Whatever you do you will be criticized by someone who does it so much better than you. Do what’s best for your family and talk to your DS.

If my DS was living at home as a student and taking out the maintenance loan I would ask him to pay something as it is I am paying him £800.00 a month to live away from home!

My DS is a medical student so is in Uni full time if not on placements so his in time in Uni is like a full time job. Less holidays too.