What to ask DS for bed and board as student

[Orangesandlemons77]

DS (19) is starting university after the summer after taking a year out to work. He will be living at home and going to a local one.

Thing is, he's much better off than the rest of us atm, after having a 12K child trust fund, then working full time for most of the year (maybe 10K after buying a car and driving lessons) and now he will be getting about another 8K from student finance as we are not on a high income.

Given that he won't have to pay any rent as living at home, what do you think would be reasonable to charge for bed and board?

I'm on PIP and DH is self employed, but mid 50s and has a health condition so is not earning that much atm. We get a bit of tax credits but probably won't be changing to UC due to is being tricky with self employment (but may have to I suppose). Just now I'm using the PIP to get shopping etc, and seeking out bargains etc while DS is buying e.g. new phones and fancy perfumes for his gf.

He'll get a reduced loan for living at home, you're expected to provide him accommodation. He should be covering his food and bills, but his student loan is debt. By asking him to contribute more really is you making money from his debt. What would you do if he hadn't had the CTF or worked? You saved it for him, why you asking for it back?

If he is in full-time education working on his first degree, I would not ask for any contribution. If he decides to go for a masters or a PhD, at that point it’s fair to talk finances.

once he completes his education, absolutely he should be contributing. Until then, he is really still your responsibility. Him living at home is going to be cheaper than you helping him with bills to live elsewhere.

No he’ll have £24k of extra debt.
Would you take out a bank loan you didn’t need to put in a savings account?

I will talk to him about just applying for the fees however it is his decision overall.

Taking the max loan is advised because the amount of debt and interest means it doesn't matter for most.

Think about it. Tuition fees are £9K a year. That's £27K min course just tuition fees. 7.9% interest rate. You pay back 9% of take home over £25K. That's over £180 a month interest.

So you need to earn over £45K a year just to cover the interest. How many people walk into a job paying £45K? Almost no one. It may take 5 years to reach that point. But interest has been accruing - so that £27K debt is now over £40K so you're still no where near even covering the interest!

So if you're never going to pay off even if you just take the tuition loan and you won't need to pay off any more for it, why not take the max you can?

“You saved it for him, why you asking for it back?”

It was saved in part to fund university. If he went away from home for uni, he would be spending a lot more, OP’s costs for food and utilities would be lower and Op might eg be able to let the room term time to a local student to make money.

OP should not be more out of pocket for her son staying home!

Well I guess that's his thinking about it.

He may be able to max his LISA allowance so 4K a year and an extra 1K each year in the popup from the gov, might be good towards the future as well. It's up to him really

Yes, our youngest is probably going away and might use some of it for that.

I would ask him to cover his share of the food, for buy his own food. I would also ask fot a share of gas/electric/water equivalent to what he uses. So he covers the additional cost to the household of him living at home, but nothing more than that.

Is he using the CTF? Because if he’s being frivolous with it (and his savings) this would massively affect what I would charge him if I were you.

I would encourage him to get the maintenance loan and save as much as he can from his CTF and current savings for his future - a property, travelling, postgraduate courses etc.

Also for him to get a part-time job. If he saves what he currently has and gets a part-time job when he starts university, personally I wouldn’t charge him anything, but for me that would depend on if he’s being wasteful with his savings and CTF money.

Why not just ask him to contribute towards food shopping. He could pay £30 a week for food and £10 towards electric so £40 per week. You'd have either mortgage or rent anyway and council tax too so it's not costing you much more than £40 per week for him to be living there. You could charge more once he's out of education.

It's a loan though so he'll have to pay it back.

Personally, I would feel the trust fund £12k and £10k from working shouldn’t be considered as money he can give away, as surely these are his savings to buy a house/big expenses in the future. I don’t personally feel this money should be taken from him, assuming he’s keeping it saved for big life purchases and not wasting it. If it were me, I would only take into account the money he has from the student loan and any income he gets from working whilst at uni. I would sit down and have a friendly conversation about how much he costs you a month - food, electric etc. and share with him how much of your income goes towards his costs. And then together work out the best figure. But I feel he should only give money solely for his costs. Good luck, I can imagine it’s a tricky situation but you’re the best judge on how to move this forward for your family xx

You shouldn’t be charging a child in full time education anything. You are obliged to support them. Actually taking their loan money for yourself that they will likely spend the rest of their lives paying off is pretty bad imo.

I'd probably ask for £50 a week and for that he would get bed, meals utilities. Any luxuries he would need to pay for

@WildSage please note that it was NOT my calculation per se - I was explaining, at OP’s request, where a PP had got £150 a week from.

I hope that’s clear now.

In your incorrect opinion.

If you are broke maybe get him to cover his costs but the £400 per month suggested seems excessive.

Don’t be guilted on here OP. According to MN kids should either be thrown out at 18 or subsided free of charge into their late 20’s generally according to who piles on first.

ha, so true!

Lol. Incorrect how? You are obliged to maintain your child in full time education. Taking money your child has borrowed and will likely have to spend the next 20 years paying back is an awful thing to do. I’m a single parent and would never do that to my kids.

I worked in student welfare at university and students can sue their parents for maintenance if they don’t pay. A few did - at that time they got legal aid and did successfully get some money.

If the £12000 child trust fund was money the OP had saved for her DS to help fund university, I can't imagine a court forcing parents to provide additional money if they have given this, unless further need is proven.

£8k loan spread over 52 weeks minus the £100 pw you'd be taking.

The CTF was presumably to help set him up in life, no? So the CTF can go towards a house deposit because he has got no hope of his own home otherwise. Same with this £10k that you're so very confident he has earned. I bet his income was still less than his parents. If things feel too tight he might quite possibly drop out just so he feels like he has some financial breathing space. He's trying to build independence and lay the foundations of adult life and you're trying to lift his little money out his pocket as soon as possible.